I've thought that having been born in the wrong body has meant for me that since the word 'go' I've never been able to feel any attachment to the world around me, as everything told me that neither I nor anything else is what it seems. I think that might at least partially account for the extreme N preference in me. The T part could be quite simply because I've a male brain, and T is average/normal in that case, or just like any number of T women, it's just the way I am.
But it could be that the combined effects of these 'nature' things making me NT, gave me the predisposition to respond to abuse/neglect with detachment - or more or more profound detachment than I already leaned towards.
It's all just speculation, obviously I don't think there's any way of knowing for sure.
I do find though that whereas you can 'get away' with not being particularly attached to your friends, especially males and their male friends (where gooey sentimentality is not only not expected, but keenly discouraged unless under the influence of alcohol and to be forgotten about next day and never mentioned again!! lol)... when it comes to family, especially female family, there is definitely this expectation that you care for them more than other people. That the accident of some shared gene pool automatically creates some sort of attachment.
I think that basically I've given myself a lifelong guilt trip over the fact that I don't feel this, and it's really given my self-worth a pounding over the years as I've found myself being called cold, callous, ruthless, nasty - my sister only recently said that I "must be either autistic or full of hatred" simply because I spoke to her in the same way I'd talk to anyone else, when I disagreed with something she said and told her I thought she was full of shit. She concludes that for someone to say such 'hurtful' things (it never occurred to me that anyone could be hurt by something so trivial, since I'm not...), especially to their own sister, it must mean they're a Nasty Person.
I think this is part of the nub of it: not knowing how it feels to be hurt by unkind words from people whose opinion of us means the world, it doesn't occur to us that our opinion of someone else might mean the world to them. So we speak our minds, bluntly, openly and honestly - little realising that every "don't be stupid" or "what a load of shit!" or "no thanks, I've got other things to do that lunchtime" has accumulated into what feels to the other person as a steady stream of cold, nasty insults. To us, they were casual, even temporary opinions, forgotten about as quickly as they were spoken.
I never intended to hurt (ruling out pure nastiness), and though perfectly aware of the other person's feelings and reaction (ruling autism out), I was just at a loss as to understand that that reaction was caused by my words/actions, or why/how they were able to respond in that way. But even if I had been, there's no way I could've done anything differently, without having to, basically, fake it. Is that what they want me to do?
And so it's clear suddenly how profound and far-reaching the effects of simple non-attachment can be on every aspect of a person's life...
Woah. Far out.