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  1. #11
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    This was quite interesting to me; and I chucked it up to people mentioning needless detail ..

    To me; I like to say what is relevant and stop; nevertheless, I do talk a lot of what I believe is relevant on a specific topic with an objective in mind; that's pretty clear when I tell a story, It's really interesting how much detail are not mentioned that might for some people -especially Sensing- be a bit outstanding .

    I'll make use of what you learned; and my tactic is always to count to 20 when I feel I'm about to interrupt some one .. unless this conversation has no value and I have something else to do .

    The main thing I worked on is patience and effective listening; and now I feel there is some improvement !

  2. #12
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Be blunt and honest!

    Really. I mean it. I don't like to second-guess people. I'm always relieved if people are tactless. To me, that means two things:
    1) I don't have to sugarcoat my opinions myself, which takes away a lot of stress.
    2) I don't have to search meaning behind your words. If you give a compliment to me, I can be sure it's a sincere one and I'll value it like a treasure. If I did something wrong, I can be sure you'll tell me. Makes life much easier.

    Of course, this comes from a fellow NT...

  3. #13
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Oh that reminds me, speak your damn mind. No not the filtered stuff which you discern the other person can handle but the whole ball of wax. Especially when you're dealing with someone who has shown repeatedly that they do understand the information and can understand your point.

    Trust me, if you think you're impatient try it from the side that's waiting for you to filter out the perceived irrelevancies.... BORED!
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #14
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Thanks Xander. I wish nothing more than the opportunity to speak my damn mind. That was golden.

    Today was another special opportunity to speak with a special person in a special occasion. This time it wasn't a convicted person on a subway. But.

    That's another story.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    It was good for you to listen to the man on the subway. You should be proud that you listened to your instincts to stay and talk with him. Their are many troubled people in the world these days, who are desperate to just feel like their lives matter for even a minute. Good for you.

    I would like to interject, if it's relevant, that I appreciate the ENTJ's in my life because they are able to give me calm and rational feedback in situations where I feel out of control or oppressed. I can tell they are listening to me completely, taking in everything I'm saying, and then reflect back to me an answer that is both reasonable and encouraging. My best friend is an ENTJ - what I love about her is how intently she listens to me, and how much she can still recall of conversations we've had even years later, because I'm important to her, and that's how she shows it.

  6. #16
    Junior Member
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    Default Hello Brothers

    I too had same problem. It took me quite a lot of time to figure out why ENTJs speak like they do.

    1) World of people are organised into a hierarchy in their minds. So very few people are worth listening to.
    2) They are on a mission. So listening to everyone is waste of time as it would result in delays and confusions to other members.
    3) They think 'I am in charge of the situation'. Its better you let me handle it and not discuss/argue adding to chaos.
    4) They think that listening to the problem not backed by action is futile and rush to act.

    I had to become more and more comfortable with disorder. I had to overcome this urge to immediately bring order and enquire about what led to it.

    I had to accept that mere sight of others happiness/satisfaction is a reward in itself and no better way to give it free than by listening to experiences of others. I can relate this to our friend's interaction in a subway.

    But it appears to be true with our colleagues/classmates too. They need a patient listener to share their experiences which are of same intensity as that of subway guy.

    Listening to people who seek our help and guidance is not weakness.

    You may think you know their problems. But recognize that they do not believe that you understand their problem unless you listen to them completely.

    My 2 cents bro. To summarize. If you want to help someone/bring order to a situation, listen to him/them first.

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