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[INTJ] INTJ Temper

Metamorphosis

New member
Joined
May 9, 2007
Messages
3,474
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm curious about the INTJs out there if you have a short fuse or not. I seem to remember some members referencing it before. I used to lose it quite easily when I was younger until one day apathy crept up on me and I just started thinking "eh...it's just not worth even getting upset about." Although, I think I've gotten significantly more stable/balanced in every regard as I've gotten older...almost uncomfortably so. I could probably count on one hand how many times I've really lost it in the past like...10 years. Input?
 

Mr.Time

New member
Joined
Oct 3, 2009
Messages
56
MBTI Type
INTJ
Same story of my life. As a child I used to get very angry very easily (at least in front of my family members, not outside the house). I used to even be physically aggressive with my siblings. But as I've gotten older, I've become calmer, and show anger very rarely (in front of anyone). The last time I got angry in front of someone was 5 months ago, whereas I used to get angry like every 2 days or so. It's strange how much I've changed.

This makes me wonder if I was always an INTJ. Maybe my personality type changed from something else to INTJ, or I was always an INTJ and INTJs are just easily angered when they're children. Any thoughts?
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
I would be very afraid to see you guys lose your tempers, very, very afraid.

:peepwall:
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My INTJ brother has terrible composure. It's easy to get him to start yelling and pounding things.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4w5
Pounding, I could quasi-tolerate, but yelling?!?!

Especially from an NTJ, no thanks!!!

:/
 

Goodewitch

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2009
Messages
55
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w4
Does anyone remember a scene in Harry Potter 3, where creatures called Dementors arrived on the train and the lights went off, and ice started to spread across the train windows.. and the people felt awful, depressed, shaking at the encounter?
Well, thats what INTJ temper feels like to me.
I have a wonderful freind who is very typically INTJ,,..and only once in 5 years did I push him to have an outburst.
He didnt raise his voice, didnt shout, rant, or throw stuff,.. but he just seemed to waft this icy blast of cold cold anger my way,..and said a few choice, psychologically damaging words,... then left. I was left feeling really sort of traumatised, shaky, cold, and very very upset and tearful that I'd been the focus of the liqiud nitrogen blast.
I wanted to apologise for bringing him to that point, even though in the argument I was right,.. but the feeling his loss of control gave me was like the Earths axis had tilted a bit... very un nerving.
Dont ever want to experience that again.
:cry:
So, to sum up, IME.. INTJ temper is icy, controlled, focused and deadly.
This was an older INTJ though, so he may have got past the pounding things stage.
G. x
 

Metamorphosis

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3,474
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INTJ
I'm thinking about the idea that our temper has to do with loss of control, which would explain why it's more severe when we are younger and as we get older we are more adept at maintaining control, even in the most stressful situations. I think this is why we can scare people when we lose it. We are normally so calm but there's just a point where our mind has no idea what to do. It just knows that whatever it's doing isn't working, so it does the opposite. Our catastrophe mode is obvious, just like how many outgoing types will withdraw when they get that angry.

EDIT: In regards to the above post, I think it depends on what causes us to lose our temper. If it's icy, that means that I still feel like I'm in control, but I'm checking whoever pissed me off.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
2,215
MBTI Type
intj
Enneagram
5
I was also kind of an angry, sensitive kid. Now I'm pretty hard to get really riled up, but occasionally something genuinely irks me and I'll yell about it until the other person essentially gives up and rolls over.

The rest of the time that I may appear to be angry I'm just caught up in debate or something.
 

SS17

New member
Joined
Jul 7, 2009
Messages
10
MBTI Type
INTJ
Well, I usually don't get a temper unless someone is trying to talk over my voice when they know I'm right. Or when the other person is clearly not understanding the main issue that I'm talking about and keeps changing the subject. Or when people make plans and back out at the last minute. Other than that though, I'm pretty calm.

If I'm stressed and feel like the other person isn't listening, I yell...a LOT (mostly about how they don't know what they're talking about). When I'm somewhat calm and not too worried about the argument, that's when the "cold anger" comes in. After 2-3 minutes, I just retreat to my room thinking that people just don't know what they're talking about.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
My experience is backwards from yours, Meta--I think it's a gender roles thing, though. I didn't express anger until I was older, I went through a stage of expressing it after bottling it up, and quickly learned and perfected the icy Harry Potter technique mentioned above.

The exception would be when my week has been going bad AND I'm very tired or PMSsy--I'm liable to take small things quite personally, and then if the other person tells me it's no big deal I just might dissolve into tears and tell them how angry they've made me, lol. This has risen with my Fi usage, and toned down even in the last year as I've learned to deal with my feelings better for an NT.

I'm exceptionally strong at the icy thing, though. Only to be used in justified situations. :yes:
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,769
I don' have a short fuse at all.

However I can turn into a ENTJ in a blink and without "warning" what people see as anger. Which is because people tend to see me as a quiet and aloof guy and expect that I fit into that stereotype. However I am too strong NTJ to be an average strong introvert. (towards my subjective opinion of course)
 

Two Point Two

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2008
Messages
200
MBTI Type
INTJ
I have two kinds of anger, I think.

There's the temper, which has an incredibly short fuse. This happens for relatively trivial reasons, and the anger dissipates very quickly - there's no lasting grudge at all. I'm in better control of this than I was as a kid - it's still there but I'm better at not showing it.

Then there's the deep, real anger. This, I think, is the one that makes people feel 'cold'. It makes me feel cold. Generally, this is the one that arises from what I perceive to be serious betrayals of trust, serious intended harms (on me or others), extreme failings of moral integrity. This anger doesn't usually result in an obvious response - it simmers, and the wrong that caused it is remembered. This is when I find myself glaring.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
I don't have a short fuse at all. I have the ability to become ruthless and cold when I feel it's necessary but I wouldn't classify that as a temper.
 

Andy

Supreme High Commander
Joined
Nov 16, 2009
Messages
1,211
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
I suffer terribly from what I call Mount Vesuvius syndrome. The anger builds up inside, slowly over a prelong period of time with little or no outside signs. Then, one day, it explodes and destroys everything within a hundred mile radius.

Like a lot of the previous posters, I've found I can control my anger for longer now then when I was younger, but I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. It just means there is more rage to expel when I do go.

Really losing it is... an interesting experience, and I confess not entirely unpleasant. It's almost like taking a step back inside yourself and relinquishing control of your body to your base, animal instincts. I just sit behind my eyes and watch as my body does whatever it feels like.

The pleasure comes from the absolute physical clarity that comes with such moments. I suppose in MBTI terms I slip completely into my inferior Se function and finally start to experience the world in the most visceral way possible. Everything comes into focus and the shear intensity of the moment is supreme.

The only way I've found of dealing with such things is try and emotionally distance myself from what is going on, which leads to the cold that was also been described before.
 

Uytuun

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Apr 19, 2008
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1,633
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nnnn
He didnt raise his voice, didnt shout, rant, or throw stuff,.. but he just seemed to waft this icy blast of cold cold anger my way,..and said a few choice, psychologically damaging words,... then left. I was left feeling really sort of traumatised, shaky, cold, and very very upset and tearful that I'd been the focus of the liqiud nitrogen blast.

So, to sum up, IME.. INTJ temper is icy, controlled, focused and deadly.
This was an older INTJ though, so he may have got past the pounding things stage.

occasionally something genuinely irks me and I'll yell about it until the other person essentially gives up and rolls over.

Yes, this is what my fits are like, both kinds. Only rarely do I start shouting, but I've become more volatile with age...more Fi.

I only yell at the people that are extremely close to me. :D (and at that one dude on the train, poor dude) Most of the time, I know I'm overreacting on some level, but the indignation just needs to come out.

These days I try to apologise to people after I've iced them out without a proper reason.
 

MonkeyGrass

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Jun 13, 2009
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877
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infj
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7
It's not hard to *irritate* an INTJ, IME, but the ones I know generally have to be pushed pretty far to provoke actual anger, as long as they weren't stressed emotionally in the first place.

Now, if they're waaaay off their game and Fi is on the rampage, it's a different story entirely. What I've witnessed is less focused, and more like an angry, drunken toddler lashing about blindly, trying to figure out why they're so upset.
 

Eowyn

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Jun 17, 2009
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93
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ESfP
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2
I have two kinds of anger, I think.

There's the temper, which has an incredibly short fuse. This happens for relatively trivial reasons, and the anger dissipates very quickly - there's no lasting grudge at all. I'm in better control of this than I was as a kid - it's still there but I'm better at not showing it.

Then there's the deep, real anger. This, I think, is the one that makes people feel 'cold'. It makes me feel cold. Generally, this is the one that arises from what I perceive to be serious betrayals of trust, serious intended harms (on me or others), extreme failings of moral integrity. This anger doesn't usually result in an obvious response - it simmers, and the wrong that caused it is remembered. This is when I find myself glaring.

This plus this:

It's not hard to *irritate* an INTJ, IME, but the ones I know generally have to be pushed pretty far to provoke actual anger, as long as they weren't stressed emotionally in the first place.

Now, if they're waaaay off their game and Fi is on the rampage, it's a different story entirely. What I've witnessed is less focused, and more like an angry, drunken toddler lashing about blindly, trying to figure out why they're so upset.


My INTJ is more expressive about his frustration as he has gotten older and better at communicating to me, leading to fewer volcanic style eruptions. The big to him things that result in the Great Freeze-Out are the same, but also less frequent than they used to be.
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
6,180
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I tend to control my temper as long as what someone else does does not affect me whereas I ask them why would they involve me in such a thing if it does. I can also get quite annoyed when people continue not to understand what I say. I don't like repeating myself although I sometimes have to do it quite often.

But my anger is a different story.
I got angry once... (not counting childhood) I laughed really hard then fell silent, stood for a few seconds and then walked away. I didn't look at their faces. I would have guessed that they were quite afraid...
 

Kra

Black Magic Buzzard
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
912
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
I guess I'm just too dismissive. I never blow up on people anymore. Become frustrated, yes, but then I just take a step back and calm down. It has to be something pretty heinous to actually get me to blow up on somebody.
 
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