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  1. #11
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Yes !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #12
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Yes I have both nice folks, the unique and sometimes yes even jerks (or people who acted like jerks at first) attracted to me but often I have been able to turn them around a bit or find a good side to them. If we are unable to get a compromise then they get the cold shoulder. People who don't quite fit the square peg I feel can sniff us out because we wait for more info before casting judgment. Also I suspect we sometimes like to feel superior. Sometimes we discover a diamond in the rough.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
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  3. #13
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    As much as I hate to admit I think I'm easier to manipulate than I admit, but at the same time there IS a line and if you cross it then its game over straight away, all of a sudden I'm extremely harsh and cut that person out of my life
    Yeah, it seems to be this "flex flex flex flex flex GTFO-OF-MY-LIFE *SLAM*" sort of approach.

    As a weird example, there's this guy who I made friends with on FB and he was nice, but I could tell he liked me. It was rather ridiculous, he's halfway across the country, there's no way I'd even think about 'being his girlfriend' or something, but I found him pleasant and a decent sort and liked talking to him so I thought I would see if we could just be friends.

    Stupidly, I had my phone number available on FB and had forgotten (I've since changed it), so he had my number and seemed very respectful at first.

    A few times I felt him exerting more and more pressure on my time/space and had to be very clear about how I felt and what was / was not going to happen (and I was very clear -- "I'm currently involved with someone and you live 1500 miles away, it's never going to happen") and and he seemed responsive but then would start becoming more intrusive again. This weekend after I told him not to call because I was really busy, he bombarded me with texts and unexpected phone calls and then texts about me not answering his calls (I never responded to these) and asking eventually if we were no longer talking.

    My feeling right now is not even to ever contact him again, he has sort of pushed me past the flex point on this one. I sort of felt the "click" inside when i went from communicating with him to just not ever wanting to talk to him again. It's weird how that happens.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #14
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    ^ ouch thats messed. Sounds more like "semifatal attraction" than typical jerk, but they can be much worse than typical jerks too.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  5. #15
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Yeah, pain in ass.

    I don't like having to lock someone out; but if you invade my space too far, it just clamps down and tends to stick that way. Typical jerks are actually easier; it's harder to be sure you're doing the right thing if the guy is nice in some ways or just sort of screwed up.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #16
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    I don't attract the jerks, but I do attract the people who are, in Lamens terms: "Not quite the ticket". The sort of people who are ostracized for their weird behaviour. I feel sorry for them, so in stead of ignoring them like everyone else, I say hi to them as I walk past. They take this as a sign of friendship and insist on following me around. I look like the weird piper.
    Oh, my, yes. I seem to have patience for the oddballs, the annoying folk, the broken toys. To a certain point. I can tolerate all manner of quirk that other people can't, if I feel like the person is well-meaning. Though if they are too demanding, show the crazy, or want to glom onto me unnecessarily, my tolerance wanes fast.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    i think honestly you have already answered your own question.
    • We can tolerate and/or accept lots of different types without apparent judgement. Not only that, but we can aspects of value/virtue within the majority of human beings, I think, even if parts of them suck; other people might be more apt to reject wholesale, if they find certain parts they do not like.
    • Our lack of visible emotional reaction lets others behavior as they wish... maybe even encourages them to act out if they want to find out where the "boundaries" are (because they usually get most people to respond to their behavior and they want to understand why we don't).
    • Note how you never did challenge this guy or reframe the relationship... you just avoided him. You avoided. He never knows that you don't like him, at best he just notices you avoiding him.... so he'll never change. That's another INTP issue... we abdicate the relational space rather than fighting and reclaiming some of it; we fall prey to abrasive people this way. (On another forum with REALLY introverted INTPs, they were having a troll issue... and people were actually suggesting really crazy responses, like either shutting down the whole forum to avoid the troll, or creating a forum within the forum and essentially letting the trolls have the main part of the forum, or.... just absolutely nuts... but a natural weakness of the INTP taken to an extreme. They did not know how to interact with and put boundaries on the troll, so they all wanted to avoid and hide!)

    Feel free to vent, though, what you describe would be annoying to me too.
    Wow, that really hits home! And that last bit about the troll--that just kind of encapsulates the whole thing, doesn't it? Fascinating.
    Something Witty

  7. #17
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    On another forum with REALLY introverted INTPs, they were having a troll issue... and people were actually suggesting really crazy responses, like either shutting down the whole forum to avoid the troll, or creating a forum within the forum and essentially letting the trolls have the main part of the forum, or.... just absolutely nuts... but a natural weakness of the INTP taken to an extreme. They did not know how to interact with and put boundaries on the troll, so they all wanted to avoid and hide!)
    Very interesting. Would you mind sharing what forum of INTPs this was that all wanted to avoid and hide - or where this was the consensus? We're not the most belligerent type but even so, these sound like wimps of a higher order.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
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  8. #18
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    yes !
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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