[MBTI General] How do I become more decisive ENFP?

[hermeticdancer]

Any advice on how to make good decisions?
Im an ENFP and I get confused when it comes to making a decision. It's like my brain says NO! and steers in a different direction and I have to fight it, its painful and hard, and not fun. (I don't like to work, I dont like the office)
I really don't like to do tasks, everyday things, I want to be effective, and organized and more business like, or I will just be floating all my life, and will never hold a job. I notice the most successful people with some exceptions are mostly J's, the higher ups.
If they are FP they have developed some strategy, to help them.

Is this stuff just natural for J's, or is hard for you guys too, I know there are all types of decisions, and its a big question, but just like to see what people think.


What does you decision making process look like,,, a b c d... example

 

[INTP]

just dont float too much, theres nothing wrong with some floating imo.

i cba to think about my decision making process atm, maybe ill post later

 

[Gerbah]

For me as a J, it feels pretty natural to just do what I have to do. It's not that I enjoy doing tedious things. I actually freelance because I think working in an office would make me ill, but my desire to accomplish the end goal is a bigger feeling than the feeling of the tedium of doing what I have to do to get there. So that's what keeps me on track.

From how you describe, it sounds like you feel the tedium of the present moment strongly. I would say, be clear to yourself what you really want in life, find the thing that makes you feel uncontrollably excited deep down in your gut, and then bear that thing in mind to get yourself through the boring things you need to do to have it.

 

[Litvyak]

1. fetch yourself an NTJ
2. enjoy... ;P

 

[Laurie]

Most decisions don't really matter. Make a quick decision at those points.

Give yourself a limit of time to make a decision and stick with whatever seems to make sense.

Don't try to be a "J" - learn to work with what you have. I find if I have a job to do I need to do it right away or I won't get it done until the last minute.

 

[Son of the Damned]

Make choices quickly and stick with them. Once you've chosen something, see it through till the end.

You'll never change your nature, but you can tame it.

 

[visaisahero]

As an ENxP like you, I tend to make decisions in a "radial" manner- where I think of many different possible solutions to my problems and tend to explore too many different options without a clear agenda. I may then get more caught up with the decision-making process than with making the actual decision. Sometimes I take a little longer than necessary to choose the obvious solution because I am too caught up with the possibilities, pros and cons of the less obvious ones. I wonder if you can relate to that?

Before you can be effective there are several things you must internalize:

- Wasted time is a sunk cost that you can't do anything about.
- You cannot learn anything at all from decisions that you leave un-made. (apart from reasserting the obvious that you already know.)
- Mistakes made when making choices or decisions are brilliant opportunities for you to learn more about yourself and how you tick, as well as how you should act in various different scenarios and circumstances.
- It is hence generally better to make a decision and follow it through than to remain indecisive and uncertain, as it greatly increases the likelihood that you will emerge from the process better off.

When you realise this (you have to figure it out yourself and it has to make sense to you- me telling you this will not change anything by itself), you will also realise that it's generally better to make decisions than to sit on the fence.

One of the good things about xNxPs, I believe, is that we tend to be less stubborn than most and are more willing to correct ourselves when we do realise that we've been doing something the wrong way. This attribute will serve you well. Don't worry about "losing your identity" when you start making decisive choices- I can promise you that your personality will continue to manifest itself around those decisions, and you will find yourself being more discerning about them (and hence more valuable to yourself, your community and any organization than the average "Just Do It" type.)

 

[Tamske]

Ask an ESTJ.
Or any other type ending on J.
(But as there is a thread "ask an ESTJ", you can as well ask there...)

 

[nomadic]

I find if I have a job to do I need to do it right away or I won't get it done until the last minute.

I realized this yesterday and it totally helped me finish some stuff I had to do.

I realized it before, but I forgot I realized it. lolz

 

[entropie]

Let life teach you for the better, just watch to not become frustrated in the end

 

[Laurie]

It's important not to try to change who you are but to work with your strengths.

 

[entropie]

But when I finally wrote my application to porn industry to work with my strengths they replied one has to be naked in front of a camera !! So how not to change oneself ?

 

[forzen]

Everytime i'm in a situation similar to yours, I listen to rap songs that talks about the issue that's giving me trouble....and I do the exact opposite of whatever the song is saying.

 

[tedboles]

sometimes you just gotta go against what you feel. as long as you own it everything will work out in the end.


work sux.