I am not a person that wears my emotions (lack of) on my sleeve, except if it is my first reaction to something, or I am involved in something that considerably excites me.
My problem is that I am a person that lives in my analysis, my thoughts, and my imagination. Basics that have nothing to think about, cannot be dissected from a number of ways, are not able to be a big picture possibility that might be able to effect or change mine/others lives somehow, or be important to the overall scheme in any way, I have little interest in.
So situations like the following can sometimes occur, in which people mistake my lack of enthusiasm for what I find unimportant or dumb, as something else:
Friend: So last I went down to the mall and looked around for a new Ipod in every single store. I wanted a black one. I went into EVERY electronics store into the entire mall and they didn't have one black one.
Me: Yeah? *starts to think about what reason it could be that not one store had a black Ipod, drawing on marketing, what he knows about black cars, business, why people might like black ipods, and doesn't really care that the friend didn't get one*
Friend: You can show more enthusiasm.
Me: Sorry, I was thinking about something. *didn't tell them what because I knew they wouldn't get it anyway*
Friend: You must think I am really boring.
Me: Not at all. I am just absent minded right now. *starts getting really interested in TV, because it is getting sort of insecure and emotional, and I don't want anything to do with it, so I act distracted*
The problem was that my friend had not offered me anything I really cared about or could sympathize with. If the friend had engaged me with one of a million things I cared about, like economics, politics, literature, current events, technology, partying, acoustic guitar, medicine, international relations and on and on and on, I would have certainly taken the bait and become very enthused. But, they didn't, so I hardly showed any reaction to their story by nature, and started thinking. If they had given me more time, I would have probably thought of a good enough reason why the mall had none, or maybe even bullshitted my way through and just made one up, and offered it back to them to their interest. But I had to think, and they wanted me to go, OMG YOU POOR THING, YOU WENT ALL AROUND AND DIDN'T EVEN GET A BLACK IPOD? Its like, big deal?
I am not always involved in what is going on directly around me. I am sometimes in my head, analyzing, thinking, whatever. And other times when people ask me something, I am only thinking about the best response for the environment I am in, depending on the situation and fifty other factors, which I come to soon enough. So my face is often thoughtful and stoic in everyday life, unless I have something specifically to my interest or knowledge that I am involved in. People sometimes take this lack of expression as me being sad, angry, or not liking them.
Another instance happened a few days ago, at a party. I met this person that I knew distantly, but my friend knew very well, and I could tell from what the person was saying and the expression on her face she thought I was someone else. I asked my friend about it because I thought it was funny, who confirmed my suspicion, and I suddenly connected the event at the party to a discussion I had with the same person months earlier, which made me realize exactly the reason why she thought I was someone else. But while I was playing through the conversation in my head, I went silent. My friend thought I was upset about her not knowing, which I couldn't care less, and goes, "Itís really not a big deal."
And while I am extroverted, I am not always extroverted, more ambiverted, somewhere in between introvert and extrovert. I love to be around people, especially ones that can engage my mind with their creative thinking, knowledge, and ideas. But I also relish the time alone that I have, where I can think on things and reflect. People can mistake that too, as me wanting time away from -them- specifically.
Do other NTs get this sometimes? Any other ENTPs get it too, situations where people take you liking to live in your head sometimes as slights against them, or as you being sad, angry, and unhappy?