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  1. #11
    Senior Member wrldisquiethere's Avatar
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    I love people being upfront with me about ways I have hurt them. Just tell her that, yes, she did hurt your feelings. And tell her it hurts you when she wants to discuss your relationship with your mother.

    I don't see where it has to be that complicated.

    I almost always take things at face value. And I appreciate honesty, although I do respond to it better if it is done in a sensitive way (calm voice, appeal to my emotions, without harsh terms or accusations).
    Si, Fe equal Fi & Ti

    "I had a bag of Fritos, they were Texas grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like it." -Mitch Hedberg

  2. #12
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrldisquiethere View Post
    I almost always take things at face value. And I appreciate honesty, although I do respond to it better if it is done in a sensitive way (calm voice, appeal to my emotions, without harsh terms or accusations).
    My ESFJ best friend is like ^. The delivery is key for her, although, it's also important to be aware than even though she can get very worked up and emotional, very fast, it has a very quick turn-over, once she's calmed down. And, she'll even apologize for her outburst. So, don't think you have to walk on eggshells. The resultant outburst is never as bad as it initally seems.

    Also, giving practical analogies and examples from her/our life, to elucidate a point, works well for my best friend and myself.

    E.g., letting her know some positives of how you see her view on religion, and, using those positives to set the stage for its opposite [and its positives] may be an easier pill for her to swallow. Everything can be a positive or negative - rationalize is as such, ENTP.

  3. #13
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elizamay View Post
    we inevitably run into communication problems and then they want to "fix our relationship" by having "talks"! Agh!!
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH HHHHH!!!

    There is nothing I like less than 'agreeing on the same world-view just to show we're good friends'!
    I would flee.

    One of my best friends was a radical atheist, I was a christian. We've argued more than two years about it, never agreeing.
    After +/- one and a half year:
    "Say, Tamske, you know what I like about you? You can just disagree without bullshit."
    "That's precisely the thing I like about you, too."
    We never even uttered the word friend. We both know we are friends. We don't have to say it.

    Oh yes. I'm an atheist now. He converted me.

  4. #14
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    Hey everyone thanks for your responses! I haven't said anything because right after our talk I was totally wiped. Like, unbelievably exhausted. And then when I was back to normal I had moved on .

    It was good. We were both positive and we'll probably be better friends after this. Let's just hope I don't have to have another conversation like this for a long time, though :P.

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