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  1. #1
    ThatGirl
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    Default Getting feely but it is okay cause I'll be in bed soon, so it doesn't matter.

    NTs

    Have you ever gotten a tad bit self conscious because you didn't know the proper emotional response in a situation, yet the emo just kept coming?

  2. #2
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Anytime there is a lot of emotion involved, I feel somewhat self-conscious. Should I hug them? Should I just touch their hand or something? Should I just ignore it? Yeah yeah ignore it. Should I help them solve their problem (cause of the emotion)? What if there isn't a solution? Should I just default back to the hug? Ugh no and that doesn't feel very productive. Oh why can't I be an ENFJ who always always always knows what to say and do in these situations?!
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #3
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    It sounds like NTs have a similar lack of emotional connectivty as STPs .

    I'm "emotionally handicapped." I have very little ability to let my emotions take the lead in decision making.

    In a situation like you described, your emotions were compelling you to engage with some type of emoptional support/empathy, but you couldn't decide (thinking overpowering things again...) so you did not know how to respond effectively.

    I've had that happen a number of times. In my case it was whether or not my wife and I could reconcile our differendces, or should we get divorced. I tried to puth taht decision into a spreadsheet.

    It nearly crippled me with depression for months until I figured out how to let my feelings make the decision, instead of trying to bypass using them and allow my thinking skills to do so. Some decisions are "feelings based." You can't make them by "thinking" about them. This was really weird for me to comprehend...

    We stayed together, BTW. We're part of the 50% of couples that were in marriage counseling that made it. Thank God! Now things are great, better than ever before. I'm very thankful for that.

    Learn to use your retarded functions; it will help you!
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

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  4. #4
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post

    I've had that happen a number of times. In my case it was whether or not my wife and I could reconcile our differendces, or should we get divorced. I tried to puth taht decision into a spreadsheet.




    I know...I know.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post

    Learn to use your retarded functions; it will help you!
    Now we just need to get everyone to listen.

    Hmmm....CDs...subliminal messages...


    Get to work bub.

  6. #6
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    wouldn't this have to do with a lack of developed Fe, rather than just being a T? There are some warm Ts out there. But I think it's because they put skill points into Fe. Just saying because I do what ceecee does too.

  7. #7
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Some decisions are "feelings based." You can't make them by "thinking" about them. This was really weird for me to comprehend...
    This is a concept hard to explain to a T. Even harder to an NT.

    Didn't know how to do this until a shrink showed me how. I still suck at it.

  8. #8
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Some decisions are "feelings based." You can't make them by "thinking" about them. This was really weird for me to comprehend...
    personally i dont make decisions by the feeling. Feeling just guides my thinking and thinking makes the decision. I act on the feeling is thinking says its the smart thing to do. Even if i end up going with the feeling purely and discard the thinking, i think first if i want to do that.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  9. #9
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    personally i dont make decisions by the feeling. Feeling just guides my thinking and thinking makes the decision. I act on the feeling is thinking says its the smart thing to do. Even if i end up going with the feeling purely and discard the thinking, i think first if i want to do that.
    Seems plausible.
    I wouldn't want to separate "Feeling" and "Thinking" too strongly anyway. Both of them are a cognitive process; only the processing is done differently. F is maybe a bit more simultaneous (and sometimes really scrambled), while T is probably more sequential and much more conscious.
    That said, it's often the "F" that actually gets me thinking. If something just doesn't feel right, I try to think it over very carefully to find out where to problem is. I often take a lot of time to explain to myself why I did or didn't make a certain decision. Both of them are essential - I'd like to have as much input as possible.
    Referring to the thread's premise: I really need to have my problems resolved to some degree before I go to bed. If I haven't, I'll be thinking over them during the whole night (and that's not very pleasant, tbh).

  10. #10
    Junior Member TheLazyAnarchist's Avatar
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    These moments might be the bane of my existence - But through experience, it's always more beneficial to more or less "conform" to the current situation.

    For example: A few months ago, at a party, some major BS drama had went down when a boyfriend of 1 and a half years cheated on the girlfriend. We didn't know too many people at the party, but I was decent friends with her. So of course she ended up on my shoulder blasting me with the "emo"/me feeling like a sensotard. Initially I was for a loss at what to do, but then it occurred to me. Using my intuitive nature, I realized that If I continued to act like a sensotard, she would either think that I was a cold asshole/didn't care about her feelings, or my good friend would just feel worse.

    Use your Intuition to assess a few possible outcomes, use your judging nature to pick the one best suited for either your or his/her gain, and proceed using logic to plan out the best route for engagement (mine was arm around shoulder/patting the back/telling her to remember the good times, but to be aware that there are always better people out there). The result, was a better relationship, and a night spent, alone, in my dorm . In summary: Do your best to conform, despite if it goes against all other gut feelings, because in the end you might get something out of it, instead of appearing to being socially akward or just pure cold. Hope that helps

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