I also think this is a general ENTP issue. I've dated a lot in the past and the result is that I can pick up on certain things relatively quickly. I hate to say it but the truth is many people have lots of baggage, and it comes down to which baggage fits with mine.. for me it isn't so much about the other person having flaws but it depends on what those specific flaws are.
I am the same way. I do not expect perfection. But, I do not allow certain things as cruel as it can seem to the other person. Once I find out something that I do not like, I lose interest. But, I am very accepting of other types of things.
"Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."
What is it that you are looking for in a relationship?
Something very much more stable than all the casual/non-commitment that I have dealt with in the past. What I value the most, is to be able to relate to each other on a level of shared interest and higher intellectual properties IE the ability to argue and talk for hours, and have no limits in doing so.
Secondly, Im looking for the idea relationship where I know If I leave her to go off on her own, I wont have to worry about issues that may arise from tendencies or personality issues of hers. I noted the girl with the low self esteem for this example.
Third, I'm looking for someone to help grow, and for them to strive off of me. The last 19 years have been primarily around me, not sure if this is a quality of ENTP, but I have been noted by others to be self absorbed often times. Vice versa, If needed, I could use her as a crutch when my life becomes rough. This would also entail the ability to smoothly transition back and forth from periods of spending a lot of time together, to dedicated moments of isolation if needed.
Finally, a high value of adventurism, and great sex
^I think the thing is, Ne allows us to see many things at once. I think many ENTPs can see the parts and the whole simultaneously and are pretty good at understanding several possibilities that can happen based on that Ne+Ti analysis. It's not like we turn this off when the subject we analyzing just so happens to be a potential romance.
This is up for debate but I think that ENTPs are probably one of the only types who are able to see people and situations for exactly what they are. This is what makes us awesome problem solvers and process improvers. This is also what makes us seem picky and seeking perfection. It's not so much that we are searching for a certain ideal, it's just that we can usually tell very quickly what will NOT work. So maybe what it takes other types 3 months to learn about a partner and their relationship, we can learn in 3 dates.
I like this post. I think, it points it out exactly.
The most girls I dated, I dated just once, then I need to force myself to stay in contact. I missed the deep connection. Okay, maybe there are kisses, maybe there is sex, but that doesn't mean anything. I met a girl 12 months ago. We met 3 times, the third time we had sex, and then the contact broke. Today I remember and feel bad about it. Why did I do it? I don't know, and feel sorry for her.
But, strange: Girls with really huge personal power keep me in action. There was an ENTP last year, an independent INTJ some months ago, and there was an ENFP some weeks ago. They were really powerful, maybe somehow narcisstic, I don't know. It keeps me thinking (and feeling) about them and (like an unsolved puzzle) forced me to trying getting closer. It never worked, but I were really dependent, and couldn't articulate, if I want her or not. Do anyone of the other ENTPs experienced something like that?
** Upgrading my english **
Corrections for my language are willingly seen
It keeps me thinking (and feeling) about them and (like an unsolved puzzle) forced me to trying getting closer. It never worked, but I were really dependent, and couldn't articulate, if I want her or not. Do anyone of the other ENTPs experienced something like that?
Dam. That sums up that certain experience rather well. Last year I met a INTJ through some friends. We socially developed more and more, and though we had borderline nothing in common, she had this subtle nature to her, where she wouldn't give herself or opinions away right off the bat, and added a little flirtatious hint with it, which sent my intuitive thinking nature up the freaking wall. It was almost like she was begging me to chase her/figure her out, and much like you liquid and flammable, where you couldnt articulate if you wanted her or not, I felt very much the same thing, because I knew we had nothing in common and other things I wont get into.
Like what has been posted, we are naturally good at understanding the situation and what has been presented to us. If there is a minor setback in this problem solving, and its deliberate on her part, then of course we are going to take it upon ourselves to conquer and get an understanding. If a girl likes being chased, then this can go on forever, and if your persistent enough, she will see that and submit. Unfortunately, alot of girls see this as a weakness, and much like your and my situation apparently, that's they way they perceived...despite their subtle ways .