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  1. #11
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    I've not found and answer to this, but it does get easier. be careful to keep working at it, because you may go through phases of beign single for a logn while between relationships which then makes the problem bigger.
    I think the answer is to date around and experience a lot. Then you see that there is no such thing as the "perfect" situation. Having a critical nature can make it difficult to appreciate, but once you appreciate each thing by its own merits and develop your own standard for what is important to you, it becomes easier to choose what is best for you and to be present in a relationship.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #12
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I think the answer is to date around and experience a lot. Then you see that there is no such thing as the "perfect" situation. Having a critical nature can make it difficult to appreciate, but once you appreciate each thing by its own merits and develop your own standard for what is important to you, it becomes easier to choose what is best for you and to be present in a relationship.
    to be honest in recent years it's not been so much as looking for perfection as lack of sustainability through circumstances such as logistics etc. I am trying the dating thing but it isn't easy where I am right now.

    I do agree, I'm actually pretty snuggly in a relationship and less ENTP liked than a lot of people I think.... I just take a long time between relationships.

  3. #13
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Oh, I think ENTP's are pretty soft-hearted for their inner circle.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #14
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    yes i totally agree. i keep walls up for non inners. i'm not too concious of being super crical in recent history, but was picky and still filter out heavily before i endulge

  5. #15
    Member Bowie's Avatar
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    I just recently entered a relationship with an ENFP. While I could sit and list the things that are positive about the relationship, the thing that has mattered to me most is the fact that I can't see an end to the relationship (which is good, in my eyes) and that I don't have any doubts. I see plenty of flaws in him. In the past, these flaws might have been deal breakers, but now in retrospect I think I was using flaws as a way to "prove" to myself that that person wasn't relationship material.

    Keep meeting people, you'll see the difference when you meet someone that'll fit with you.
    In my defense, I am a terrible person.

  6. #16
    Senior Member SerengetiBetty's Avatar
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    I also think this is a general ENTP issue. I've dated a lot in the past and the result is that I can pick up on certain things relatively quickly. I hate to say it but the truth is many people have lots of baggage, and it comes down to which baggage fits with mine.. for me it isn't so much about the other person having flaws but it depends on what those specific flaws are.

  7. #17
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bowie View Post
    I just recently entered a relationship with an ENFP. While I could sit and list the things that are positive about the relationship, the thing that has mattered to me most is the fact that I can't see an end to the relationship (which is good, in my eyes) and that I don't have any doubts. I see plenty of flaws in him. In the past, these flaws might have been deal breakers, but now in retrospect I think I was using flaws as a way to "prove" to myself that that person wasn't relationship material.

    Keep meeting people, you'll see the difference when you meet someone that'll fit with you.
    This thread really offers some valuable insight.
    To me, it's really food for thought because, to tell the truth, this is about as much the opposite of me as it can get. When I'm in love, I virtually don't see any flaws at all. I believe my INFP badge is duly earned However, it sometimes takes years before I even consider to pursue a relationship because eligible girls are few and far between. Add that to a rather introverted personality, and you get about as many dates a year as there are prongs in a fork (alright, maybe not that few, but I had to get that simile off my chest). It's said that INFPs (maybe NFs in general) are looking for their 'soulmates' - maybe that's piling it on a bit thick, but it goes in the right direction.
    The reason I am posting this in the NT forum: Try to see the person not as a sum of some general character traits. Idiosyncrasies, good and bad, are tantamount to the personality, but only in their entirety. I guess my conception of personality is a very holistic one, but hey - that's what you get from an intuitive "feeler" (it's like a bucket of barf - everything sticks together somehow).
    I'm about to post some advice that might help you to empathize, but it's already late over here, and I still have to think it through.

  8. #18
    Senior Member SerengetiBetty's Avatar
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    ^I think the thing is, Ne allows us to see many things at once. I think many ENTPs can see the parts and the whole simultaneously and are pretty good at understanding several possibilities that can happen based on that Ne+Ti analysis. It's not like we turn this off when the subject we analyzing just so happens to be a potential romance.

    This is up for debate but I think that ENTPs are probably one of the only types who are able to see people and situations for exactly what they are. This is what makes us awesome problem solvers and process improvers. This is also what makes us seem picky and seeking perfection. It's not so much that we are searching for a certain ideal, it's just that we can usually tell very quickly what will NOT work. So maybe what it takes other types 3 months to learn about a partner and their relationship, we can learn in 3 dates.

  9. #19
    Member Bowie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SerengetiBetty View Post
    It's not so much that we are searching for a certain ideal, it's just that we can usually tell very quickly what will NOT work. So maybe what it takes other types 3 months to learn about a partner and their relationship, we can learn in 3 dates.

    I agree with this, especially the bolded part. I'm not so sure about being the only type that can see things for what they are, but I think as ENTPs we certainly have the ability.

    I sort of feel like most people look at each other and see mirrors or masks, while we see windows. If that makes any sense
    In my defense, I am a terrible person.

  10. #20
    Is Willard in Footloose!! CJ99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheLazyAnarchist View Post
    Greetings NT-Rationals, and Typology users in general. Its safe to say I'm very new here, so to help get myself acquainted with the usual's...I decided to bring up an issue for my personal sake, and for premium discussion.

    The Issue being: My (or an) inability to accept potential significant others (or even very close friends) because of the way I think and perceive other people.

    Explanation: Being in my second year of college and being more so extroverted, I get my charge from talking to others/living the social scene. Often times a very suitable woman will enter my life, and the odd time this relationship might grow to something more intimate. Yet time and time again, my intuitive thinking always notices the flaws and potential pitfalls the relationship could experience if progressed any further. Being the type that doesn't act on instinct, I'm also hesitant to express anything positive I may feel about her. Sooner or later she thinks I'm not interested and the opportunity is a mile behind me.

    So ENTP's or other NT's in general. How can I break past analytical bullshit when it comes to relationships, and learn how to express myself when needed. Does anyone else experience this issue?
    Well I can't really comment on romantic relationships being about experienced in that as an 8 year old but I can relate to the part about noticing my friends flaws. At times its great because It means I know where draw the line and tell them there out of order but at others it makes me disengage with them a lot, best example is my parents I find it so hard to get on with them because their flaws are so obvious to me same with many friends! Not sure what we can do about it though!
    "I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"

    "Is it not enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairys at the bottom of it too"

    "Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!

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