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  1. #1
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    Default The compassionate ENTJ

    Do any other ENTJ's out there have a strong knack for helping people with troubles they may be having in their life (socially,romantically and career wise)? It may seem strange but a lot of people come to me for advice and mention that i'm the only one who can give them useful insights. I usually don't mind at all lending my time to help them either. It might just be the way my letters come together ( E-55% N-100% T-75% J-55%) but I enjoy the complexities of lifes troubles and trying to work through them (MUCH more than small talk). A lot of the time i'l end up ignoring the same person I gave advice to if they only want small talk (''how was your day?, how's that new job?'' etc) because that bores the hell out of me and I feel trapped in a conversation I don't want to be having. <--- this can sometimes be very off-putting to people who think I must be incredibly interested in them because I'm willing to help them through deeper issues. I havn't read much (if anything) about any NT enjoying these types of things. Do any of you (NT's) tend to be the one people confide in and rely on for insight? Also, I KNOW i'm ENTJ but this is one of the few things that seem very inconsistant.

    Note: I'm not just helping for the 'thrill of accomplishing'', I do genuinely care.

  2. #2
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    I made one of my closest friends take a MBTI test recently, and he scored as "ENTJ", which I think is quite appropriate. Of course he's successful and quite sociable (and he can't stand to lose, hehe), but he's usually the first (male) person I get into contact with whenever I have some personal problem. He likes small talk, but he also likes, "big talk", if you will.
    Needless to say he can be a greedy, opinionated, cold-blooded bastard, so calm down fellow ENFJs, he's one of you after all. But only in public

  3. #3
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    Yeah, because I grew up around a few adults that tried to fight all my battles for the sense of accomplishment by trying to convince me that I was weak, an outsider, or stupid. I know what it's like to have all your efforts walked all over and to have your bubble burst. Before that point, I was probably an esfp. So, I try to help people learn to stand on their own two feet or use their own voice. I have a lot of 'friends' and acquaintances, but because of that, I 'need' very few people. And I don't want some people to end up having to feel that way.

  4. #4
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    It's truly one of my favorite things to help people with problems.

    Thats what we are, problem solvers.

  5. #5
    ThatGirl
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    Guilty

    Not so much anymore though as I have too much shit to do than be there for others. Also I do weigh the value of my advice. For instance if someone is just complaining or looking to validate their current state, I don't waste my time. If someone is genuinely stuck I like contingency planning with them. I enjoy that period.

    The only time I actually care about it is if one is motivated, at a loss for solution, and generally didn't earn their current state. Example, if you want to bitch to me about your speeding ticket, I don't want to hear how much it sucks. If you have a legit concern, done everything you can to fix it and still can't, and it is beyond your control, I'll offer my advice.

    My only other rule is, I will not offer my advice twice on the same problem unless circumstances beyond control changed.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Guilty

    Not so much anymore though as I have too much shit to do than be there for others. Also I do weigh the value of my advice. For instance if someone is just complaining or looking to validate their current state, I don't waste my time. If someone is genuinely stuck I like contingency planning with them. I enjoy that period.

    The only time I actually care about it is if one is motivated, at a loss for solution, and generally didn't earn their current state. Example, if you want to bitch to me about your speeding ticket, I don't want to hear how much it sucks. If you have a legit concern, done everything you can to fix it and still can't, and it is beyond your control, I'll offer my advice.

    My only other rule is, I will not offer my advice twice on the same problem unless circumstances beyond control changed.


    Well said. I especially liked the bolded portion as a good general rule to follow. I could have saved myself alot of b.s. in the past if I had followed that rule.

  7. #7
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    My ENTJ best friend is my main confidante. He's not really tender-hearted or anything, but he genuinely cares. His advice tends to be very coherently put together, often involving a sequence of concrete actions I should take to better my situation. And he silently expects me to follow through because, as an NT, he generally knows what he's talking about. If I don't and things don't turn out well, his silent disapproval at my not listening to him is also very well understood. I don't always dig his inter-personal advice, but his life and career choice advice is usually terrific.

  8. #8
    Pumpernickel
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    Well what specifically about ENTJs would make them NOT want to help people, compared to other types??

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Guilty

    Not so much anymore though as I have too much shit to do than be there for others. Also I do weigh the value of my advice. For instance if someone is just complaining or looking to validate their current state, I don't waste my time. If someone is genuinely stuck I like contingency planning with them. I enjoy that period.

    The only time I actually care about it is if one is motivated, at a loss for solution, and generally didn't earn their current state. Example, if you want to bitch to me about your speeding ticket, I don't want to hear how much it sucks. If you have a legit concern, done everything you can to fix it and still can't, and it is beyond your control, I'll offer my advice.

    My only other rule is, I will not offer my advice twice on the same problem unless circumstances beyond control changed.
    Yeah I follow this rule too. It gets really annoying when people come to you for advice and then it becomes evident that they were just looking for someone to vent their problems on, rather than seeking advice.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by justxher View Post
    Well what specifically about ENTJs would make them NOT want to help people, compared to other types??
    Some people might say that a weak Fi (or any feeling preference) would mean a lack of compassion and time for people with problems, especially because we're seen as 'busy people'.

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