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[ENTJ] A very angry ENTJ

INTPness

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Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
ENTJ's, what's going on in your thought process when you are extremely angry at someone for something they did. If you feel they have wronged you, blatantly disrespected you and/or your territory/turf/loved ones, or they're just being irresponsible and trying your patience week after week on a project, and it begins to get nasty (words exchanged, etc) what is your reaction and how do you handle it?

I'm witnessing an ENTJ and his competitive streak. Even though he may be in the right about how things have gone down with the other party, he just won't let it go. He's looking for vengeance, he's out for blood so to speak, and he's just got this mindset that he's going to nail these guys for what they've done and they will know to never mess with him again. It's like he's toying with them, getting all his ducks in a row, and ready to go to war.

I respect the NT in the guy. Good business man. Smart, creative, aggressive, but through this whole thing I'm losing respect for him. It's just getting kind of silly to watch him be so consumed with this day in and day out. While he maintains that he is keeping his head on straight, I can't help but notice that he seems to be going from "let's work this out reasonably" to "I'm taking you down and you're not going to enjoy this ride!" From respected business man to 35-year old who is going to crush you because you made fun of him once when you were teenagers."

As a casual observer to this whole situation, I really wanted to see my fellow NT handle it with professionalism. And he did, to a point - and then it all just flew out the window. Thoughts?
 

Twixt

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Oct 12, 2008
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ISTP
Interesting. Can't help, but will be watching this thread.
 

tinkerbell

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Aug 31, 2008
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ENTP
hard work, I've been workign shoulder to shoulder with one of them for 3.5 years. There are difficulties but pleanty of good times and stimulating conversation.

The manipulated - i've got an agenda is a pain in the ass but there is great loyalty and opportunitites to do amazing things.

One things pointing out, i've yet to meet a perfect person... so I'm thinking there is downsides to dealing with anyone
 

Risen

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
3,185
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
The obvious solution is to act like the sly and overly intelligent INTP that you are an employ tactics that will help you rise above him in the company while making him believe you are his closest partner. Then, when he is out of the picture or below you in position, he wont be as much of a pain/threat. And if at that point he tries to raise a row, you can just eject him from the company yourself (if that position carries such power), and let him mull over the reality of having to deal with his own sort of methods thrown back at him.

Or at least that's what I'd do. Heartless bastard.
 

Silencio

New member
Joined
Sep 27, 2009
Messages
80
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
ENTJ's, what's going on in your thought process when you are extremely angry at someone for something they did. If you feel they have wronged you, blatantly disrespected you and/or your territory/turf/loved ones, or they're just being irresponsible and trying your patience week after week on a project, and it begins to get nasty (words exchanged, etc) what is your reaction and how do you handle it?

I'm witnessing an ENTJ and his competitive streak. Even though he may be in the right about how things have gone down with the other party, he just won't let it go. He's looking for vengeance, he's out for blood so to speak, and he's just got this mindset that he's going to nail these guys for what they've done and they will know to never mess with him again. It's like he's toying with them, getting all his ducks in a row, and ready to go to war.

I respect the NT in the guy. Good business man. Smart, creative, aggressive, but through this whole thing I'm losing respect for him. It's just getting kind of silly to watch him be so consumed with this day in and day out. While he maintains that he is keeping his head on straight, I can't help but notice that he seems to be going from "let's work this out reasonably" to "I'm taking you down and you're not going to enjoy this ride!" From respected business man to 35-year old who is going to crush you because you made fun of him once when you were teenagers."

As a casual observer to this whole situation, I really wanted to see my fellow NT handle it with professionalism. And he did, to a point - and then it all just flew out the window. Thoughts?

ENTJ's have a strong need to 'stomp' on people who have either insulted/belittled them and/or wasted their time. We are highly competitive and hate when people make attempts to bring us down in any way. Actually, we REALLY hate it. We will become spiteful and feel the strong need to 'put people under our boot- then apply pressure'... much like the ENTP needs to 'one up' people. Whats going through our head is ''____ person is bothering me by doing/saying _____ AND they are in no position to be doing so, therefore with my intense ability to notice people's flaws and errors I will make them pay....within reason''. Most ENTJ's know when to draw the line so it doesn't affect their overall work. Just sit back and watch the fireworks...

edit: The work shouldn't suffer unless he's an unhealthy ENTJ
 

Silencio

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Sep 27, 2009
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80
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ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
What about their social life?

Socially a healthy ENTJ should be able to know which areas are not OK to pick at, even if they've been insulted in a serious way. For the most part an ENTJ will get mad and come up with ideas on how to 'get back' at someone but usually the only thing that occurs is a drop in respect towards the person who 'crossed a line'. However, this only applies towards good friends. If anyone else tries to insult the ENTJ, they will be very quick to reply with an equal or greater insult... usually delivered very quickly and accurately. This is mainly because the ENTJ can use their NT to quickly notice the faults in other people and their EJ drives them to make sure the other person regrets bringing up conflict.
 

INTPness

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The manipulated - i've got an agenda is a pain in the ass but there is great loyalty and opportunitites to do amazing things.

It's worth noting that I've seen this side of the ENTJ as well. Like I mentioned, very creative and someone you generally would want on your team.

One things pointing out, i've yet to meet a perfect person... so I'm thinking there is downsides to dealing with anyone

Of course. That's a given. I'm just trying to better understand ENTJ's for my own insight and future dealings.
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1,954
MBTI Type
ENTJ
ENTJs are highly vulnerable at the core. When someone assaults our inferior Fi by getting away with something that is simply unjust to us, we turn to Te to help us retaliate. With professional situations, Te can often be of no use, and so we become completely powerless and miserable and this makes us more angry.

One thing that works for me is when people (especially people I consider to be really wise and perceptive *cough*INTPs*), analyze the situation with me and show me how they agree with me about how unfair it is but also demonstrate to me that doing something about it will not be helpful.

Try to push him out of hyperactive Fi mode and into a rational (this is not going to help the situation) Te mode.




I think I just made ENTJs sound extremely vulnerable :S sorry all.
 

Silencio

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8w7
ENTJs are highly vulnerable at the core. When someone assaults our inferior Fi by getting away with something that is simply unjust to us, we turn to Te to help us retaliate. With professional situations, Te can often be of no use, and so we become completely powerless and miserable and this makes us more angry.

One thing that works for me is when people (especially people I consider to be really wise and perceptive *cough*INTPs*), analyze the situation with me and show me how they agree with me about how unfair it is but also demonstrate to me that doing something about it will not be helpful.

Try to push him out of hyperactive Fi mode and into a rational (this is not going to help the situation) Te mode.



I think I just made ENTJs sound extremely vulnerable :S sorry all.

Dammit, you've blown our cover!.:doh:

Very well put though

INTJ's do a very good job at becoming hyper-rational in dealing with ENTJ's to conpensate for the weak Fi too. I think that's why INTJ's and INTP's do well in relationships with ENTJ's. Although it's still not equal to the comfortable feeling you get with a nice NF... when they aren't going bat-crazy over trivial shit that is.
 

JustHer

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Dammit, you've blown our cover!.:doh:

Very well put though

INTJ's do a very good job at becoming hyper-rational in dealing with ENTJ's to conpensate for the weak Fi too. I think that's why INTJ's and INTP's do well in relationships with ENTJ's. Although it's still not equal to the comfortable feeling you get with a nice NF... when they aren't going bat-crazy over trivial shit that is.

Hahhaha yeah I kind of felt really uneasy revealing our ultimate weakness.

Yeah but the comfortable feeling is probably not as good for long term stuff.
 

INTPness

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The obvious solution is to act like the sly and overly intelligent INTP that you are an employ tactics that will help you rise above him in the company while making him believe you are his closest partner. Then, when he is out of the picture or below you in position, he wont be as much of a pain/threat. And if at that point he tries to raise a row, you can just eject him from the company yourself (if that position carries such power), and let him mull over the reality of having to deal with his own sort of methods thrown back at him.

Or at least that's what I'd do. Heartless bastard.

I'm not the one who he is doing "battle" against. I'm just observing ENTJ pitted against ISTP/ESTJ. ISTP doesn't want to be around ENTJ because he is at the point of getting physical and doesn't want to put himself in that situation. ISTP's extreme "P" has been the root of the problem. A short collaboration/deal dragged out into a 3-month ordeal because ISTP wasn't nearly as dedicated/committed as ENTJ. ENTJ had relied heavily on ISTP to deliver and it just didn't happen - costing ENTJ and his family LOTS of time, some money, some damage to his reputation, and even some added stress on his family. ESTJ is battling on behalf of ISTP, but can't out-argue ENTJ. ENTJ has his ducks in a row and an answer/legal opinion/documentation for everything and anything the ESTJ throws at him. Not to mention cutting and downright condescending remarks.
 

INTPness

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they are in no position to be doing so, therefore with my intense ability to notice people's flaws and errors I will make them pay....within reason''.

This is exactly what's happening. Thanks for the input.
 

Silencio

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I'm not the one who he is doing "battle" against. I'm just observing ENTJ pitted against ISTP/ESTJ. ISTP doesn't want to be around ENTJ because he is at the point of getting physical and doesn't want to put himself in that situation. ISTP's extreme "P" has been the root of the problem. A short collaboration/deal dragged out into a 3-month ordeal because ISTP wasn't nearly as dedicated/committed as ENTJ. ENTJ had relied heavily on ISTP to deliver and it just didn't happen - costing ENTJ and his family LOTS of time, some money, some damage to his reputation, and even some added stress on his family. ESTJ is battling on behalf of ISTP, but can't out-argue ENTJ. ENTJ has his ducks in a row and an answer/legal opinion/documentation for everything and anything the ESTJ throws at him. Not to mention cutting and downright condescending remarks.

Wow that would annoy the HELL out of me. I have an ISTP as a good friend and while he can be a very hard worker when he finds something that interests him, he is TERRIBLE at following through with things that don't. ENTJ's hate relying on other people for these sorts of things unless they are completely confident that things WILL get done in a TIMELY manner. If what the ISTP did affected the ENTJ in the way you say it did then he must be quite pissed. The only thing that makes situations like that more annoying is when people try to back up the incompetant people. Nothing annoys me more than when I have thought out a way something NEEDS to be done, only to have someone fail to do it, THEN have someone else argue that what I was demanding wasn't necessary or warranted. People don't respect that NT's put a lot of objective thought into things and are usually right when they chose to make a decision. This tends to happen a lot with NF's. A lot of the time when I give out orders on something that needs to be done, they complain about me being insensitive when really I was trying to get a point across to prevent a huge mistake from occuring. I can definitely see the ENTJ you work with being openly condescending to people who show such incompetance in a field which is taken very seriously by the ENTJ.
 

Litvyak

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Oct 5, 2008
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sx/sp
Any input on what a healthy ENTJ would do? I mean, if not for childishly planning vengeance. How do they handle their Fi?
(I'm having the very same problem: I can't simply forget things and get on with life)
 

Silencio

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ENTJ
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8w7
Any input on what a healthy ENTJ would do? I mean, if not for childishly planning vengeance. How do they handle their Fi?
(I'm having the very same problem: I can't simply forget things and get on with life)

A healthy ENTJ just lets it fizzle away. Never truly getting over it comes with the xntj package.
 

WoodsWoman

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INFP
My ENTJ? Just don't question his personal integrity and you'd be fine.
 
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