[INTP] INTP's and relationships

[Unique]

 

[Risen]

Why do all of these weird animal pictures have the most broken English imaginable? I don't get it. I don't.

 

[Thalassa]

Why do all of these weird animal pictures have the most broken English imaginable? I don't get it. I don't.

 

[Bubbles]

Brilliance.

Being with an INTP has taught me two things. One, I'm by no means the most idealistic person in love ever, and two, I actually have an anger problem compared to these guys.

From an INFP perspective, their emotions are a lot less complex and muddled than I'm used to. If they're sad, they're sad. If they're happy, they're happy. No long ridiculous twisted reasons behind it. Me, on the other hand...

Sometimes it's frustrating, sure. Other times, I think it's kind of amazing that someone can be so strangely...normal...about their feelings. You called it childish, I guess that's a good term. If they're healthy, I think that the INTP mindset is something to definitely gain from, and if unhealthy you're dealing with overly sensitive minefields.

There's no games with most INTPs, really, and that's amazing. At least from what I can see.

 

[Costrin]

Being with an INTP has taught me two things. One, I'm by no means the most idealistic person in love ever, and two, I actually have an anger problem compared to these guys.

I, and probably most INTPs, don't get angry for the most part. I only get angry when it really matters, and even then I restrain my expression of it. I'll use it as a tool to protect some important value, or to get something to happen or stop something that really needs done. When an INTP shows anger, they expect finality and are prepared to back it.

From an INFP perspective, their emotions are a lot less complex and muddled than I'm used to. If they're sad, they're sad. If they're happy, they're happy. No long ridiculous twisted reasons behind it. Me, on the other hand...

Sometimes it's frustrating, sure. Other times, I think it's kind of amazing that someone can be so strangely...normal...about their feelings. You called it childish, I guess that's a good term. If they're healthy, I think that the INTP mindset is something to definitely gain from, and if unhealthy you're dealing with overly sensitive minefields.

There's no games with most INTPs, really, and that's amazing. At least from what I can see.

Yeah we really dislike emotional games, and don't have the energy or finesse to play em anyway. The only thing is, especially when we're upset, we can withdraw into our heads, meanwhile giving out lots of subtle signals about our emotional state. We secretly hope that someone notices these signals and addresses us directly about what we're feeling. Otherwise we can have trouble showing negative emotions until we've thoroughly analyzed them and we have no choice to if we want to get rid of them.

 

[Unique]

Brilliance.

Being with an INTP has taught me two things. One, I'm by no means the most idealistic person in love ever, and two, I actually have an anger problem compared to these guys.

From an INFP perspective, their emotions are a lot less complex and muddled than I'm used to. If they're sad, they're sad. If they're happy, they're happy. No long ridiculous twisted reasons behind it. Me, on the other hand...

Sometimes it's frustrating, sure. Other times, I think it's kind of amazing that someone can be so strangely...normal...about their feelings. You called it childish, I guess that's a good term. If they're healthy, I think that the INTP mindset is something to definitely gain from, and if unhealthy you're dealing with overly sensitive minefields.

There's no games with most INTPs, really, and that's amazing. At least from what I can see.

Yeah I'll be honest I'm a lot more careful/guarded with INFPs now cause I've been hurt by them in the past and their.... complex emotions that seem oh so very good at turning my simple emotions from happy to sad

"I love you" or "I want you" in INFP world can mean "I just want you as an ideal fantasy, I don't actually want you" which can lead to disarray when I've trusted them and followed my feelings

The conversation is great, they are of the few types that we can have a long conversation with and feel completely relaxed around

As good as a lot of it is though its hard for me to not be a little bit guarded with this type now

 

[JustHer]

Why do all of these weird animal pictures have the most broken English imaginable? I don't get it. I don't.

Lolcats 'n' Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?

Lolcat - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Bubbles]

Yeah I'll be honest I'm a lot more careful/guarded with INFPs now cause I've been hurt by them in the past and their.... complex emotions that seem oh so very good at turning my simple emotions from happy to sad

"I love you" or "I want you" in INFP world can mean "I just want you as an ideal fantasy, I don't actually want you" which can lead to disarray when I've trusted them and followed my feelings

The conversation is great, they are of the few types that we can have a long conversation with and feel completely relaxed around

As good as a lot of it is though its hard for me to not be a little bit guarded with this type now

Hey, I really don't blame you. The INFP romantic fortress is a painful thing to overcome sometimes. I think we INFPs overthink out own needs, and the INTP is more likely to straight-up say "I like being with this person. I'm happy. Why would I worry about future unhappy things when it's currently going well?" Whereas the INFP is like "I'm happy, but in the future will I be? Am I lying to myself? Is this all made up in my head or am I really truly happy?"

I think INTPs are more idealistic about love and INFPs are more rational. Irony.

PS: I hope the OP isn't too upset that we got a bit offtopic?

 

[Tallulah]

I, and probably most INTPs, don't get angry for the most part. I only get angry when it really matters, and even then I restrain my expression of it. I'll use it as a tool to protect some important value, or to get something to happen or stop something that really needs done. When an INTP shows anger, they expect finality and are prepared to back it.

Yeah we really dislike emotional games, and don't have the energy or finesse to play em anyway. The only thing is, especially when we're upset, we can withdraw into our heads, meanwhile giving out lots of subtle signals about our emotional state. We secretly hope that someone notices these signals and addresses us directly about what we're feeling. Otherwise we can have trouble showing negative emotions until we've thoroughly analyzed them and we have no choice to if we want to get rid of them.

Wow, that was really perfectly stated. I can relate to 100% of it.

I think part of why we don't show anger and act out until we're ready for the finality, is that we're always trying to see the side we missed. We can be angry and hurt, but at the same time, still be wondering if there's a side we're not seeing, if there's a reason that things worked out the way they did. We don't like going off half-cocked. Once it's clear that our anger is justified, it kind of transforms into a calmer, but firm, resolve.

We don't like being out of control--real, emotional, in-the-moment anger always makes me feel like a child that didn't get her way. I have to test my emotions first.

 

[Totenkindly]

Wow, that was really perfectly stated. I can relate to 100% of it.

Yeah, me too.
It was very well-articulated.

I think part of why we don't show anger and act out until we're ready for the finality, is that we're always trying to see the side we missed. We can be angry and hurt, but at the same time, still be wondering if there's a side we're not seeing, if there's a reason that things worked out the way they did. We don't like going off half-cocked. Once it's clear that our anger is justified, it kind of transforms into a calmer, but firm, resolve.

Yes.

The "doubt" factor is a huge element.
Maybe I should have mentioned that in Athenian's "Nice INTx" thread.
Even when I'm upset, I'm still questioning myself and wondering if I am misunderstanding something.
Acting in anger is just always a bit impetuous and unstable for me.
I don't want to commit to behavior/choices on my part based on anger.

I haven't really had one of those famous "Fe explosions" for years now.
Justified anger usually comes out as a hard, cooler resolve... and despise its cooler quality, it's not a great in the sense that if I've reached it, I'm definitely convicted of my perceptions/judgments and what I need to do and now I'm going to say and do it. There's no more discussion or flexing to be had.

 

[Spamtar]

^Yes this is true. Also INTP self doubt or striving for perfection (knowing there may be something, some angle I may have missed, especially irl) often keeps me in check and collaterally gives the impression that I am polite (in other words if I didn't have self doubt I think, right or wrong I would be a pompous jerk).

 

[Costrin]

Wow, that was really perfectly stated. I can relate to 100% of it.

I think part of why we don't show anger and act out until we're ready for the finality, is that we're always trying to see the side we missed. We can be angry and hurt, but at the same time, still be wondering if there's a side we're not seeing, if there's a reason that things worked out the way they did. We don't like going off half-cocked. Once it's clear that our anger is justified, it kind of transforms into a calmer, but firm, resolve.

We don't like being out of control--real, emotional, in-the-moment anger always makes me feel like a child that didn't get her way. I have to test my emotions first.

Yeah. When I get upset, I'm analyzing my emotions and the situation from all angles to see if I'm actually justified in feeling this way and bringing it up or if it's my problem and I should just "suck it up".

 

[cascadeco]

Yeah. When I get upset, I'm analyzing my emotions and the situation from all angles to see if I'm actually justified in feeling this way and bringing it up or if it's my problem and I should just "suck it up".

I do this ALL the time. I'm always analyzing my emotions and I rarely show anger or upset because I need to spend a while deciding if I am in fact 'justified' in the feeling that I'm experiencing (ack, I just realized I copied verbatim the phrase you used...but I've noted the need-for-justification so much within myself), or if in fact I'm missing something, or I'm just being paranoid and making something bigger than it should be and I just need to have some quiet time and it'll blow over of its own accord.

(Sorry, I'm obviously not an INTP, I've invaded the thread. )

 

[King sns]

I do this ALL the time. I'm always analyzing my emotions and I rarely show anger or upset because I need to spend a while deciding if I am in fact 'justified' in the feeling that I'm experiencing (ack, I just realized I copied verbatim the phrase you used...but I've noted the need-for-justification so much within myself), or if in fact I'm missing something, or I'm just being paranoid and making something bigger than it should be and I just need to have some quiet time and it'll blow over of its own accord.

(Sorry, I'm obviously not an INTP, I've invaded the thread. )

Hmmm... I don't react either.. Maybe this is just human nature.. Though I don't think about it at all. The default is just, "Don't react." Then stop thinking about it. and possibly bring it up a bit later if it becomes a habitual thing.

 

[HomerSoprano]

I'm dating I would say my third INTP now.
I noticed that every time I meet one, they seem really cool, calm, and collected. Strong and not easily worked up.

I noticed once you start to become more emotionally involved, they are like emotional train wrecks all of a sudden. And i'm always thrown into the position of being the steady, reasonable one.

Clingy, whiney, untrusting at times. Extremely affectionate. Almost feminine. I don't get it. I usually think at that point maybe I mistyped them.

But I didn't. (One of them actually tested for a class.)

What is this all about, INTPs?
What do I do about it?

First thing I would like to say is that ESFP´s are pure optimists and INTP rarely optimistic and is most of the time pessimistic. ESFP´s are the ones that truly brings out the optimism in the INTP. An INTP that doesn´t know about this will act clingy, whiny and what not because he´s not used to the warm and spontaneous nature of the ESFP. It´s like taking the lid off of a boiling saucepan. The social skills of the ESFP also intrigues the INTP because they often has none. My experince as an INTP with an ESFP girl is that they rarely dismisses the INTP´s clingy behaviour. Which is also a reason we might be very emotional towards ESFP´s because we wouldn´t act like this towards any other type. That´s it for now. I´ll fill in some other stuff when I´m back from work.

 

[Kra]

I think it's worth saying that the "cool and distant" behavior of INTPs (or maybe INTs in general, as I've done it too) is what allows them to be stable. It is their characteristic method.

Problem is, relationships are supposed to have some level of warmth, so as that cool distance fades, so too do our methods of maintaining stability. It took me a while to figure out how to remain independent AND appropriately maintain relationships. Sadly, this learning process was initiated by the end of relationships, and not during.

I haven't gyrated towards INTP status in years, but maybe that info will help somebody. *shrug*

 

[OrangeAppled]

I noticed once you start to become more emotionally involved, they are like emotional train wrecks all of a sudden. And i'm always thrown into the position of being the steady, reasonable one.

Clingy, whiney, untrusting at times. Extremely affectionate. Almost feminine. I don't get it. I usually think at that point maybe I mistyped them.

Yep....similar experience with INTPs here also.

Then they slowly become more and more belligerent. It feels like they want to pick a fight so you will end it because they cannot deal with the feelings....total self-sabotage. So then I end it, and they easily sink back into their original stoic state like nothing happened.

 

[HomerSoprano]

I don´t know if you´re into socionics but the duality between ESFP and INTP is quite interesting.

Complete relationship chart between psychological ("personality") types

The reason you´re so hesitant towards your INTP´s might be because the relation is very tense.

 

[Unique]

Sounds like you might just know some immature INTPs though short

Give em a few years or something lol

 

[Kra]

I don´t know if you´re into socionics but the duality between ESFP and INTP is quite interesting.

Complete relationship chart between psychological ("personality") types

The reason you´re so hesitant towards your INTP´s might be because the relation is very tense.

Socionics' INTP is not the same as MBTI's INTP. The socionics INTP is equivalent to an INTJ in MBTI.