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  1. #191
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    if Fe goes off the wall with Ne, i think its best if you just talk about your feelings and why you feel the way you do(doing this takes his Ti into the equation and might help him feel less frustrated and give in easier since he doesent have to just go with Fe) regarding that what ever thing thats off. if that INTP cares about your feelings, its processed with Fe by putting great importance to them and problem solved.
    You'd think so, right? Nope, this does not work when Ne-Feing. Tried this with other INTPs and found they feel manipulated. Engaging Ti appears to put them into a more objective frame of mind, hence more inclined to listen and actually hear, rather than continuing to externally emote irrationality.

  2. #192
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    You'd think so, right? Nope, this does not work when Ne-Feing. Tried this with other INTPs and found they feel manipulated. Engaging Ti appears to put them into a more objective frame of mind, hence more inclined to listen and actually hear, rather than continuing to externally emote irrationality.
    I have to say that this works best for me.

  3. #193
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    I have to say that this works best for me.
    The Ti or the Fe engagement?

  4. #194
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    The Ti or the Fe engagement?
    Ti engagement. Specifically, I need to use Ne to feed Ti, not Fe. As long as the Ne/Fe cycle is running, I'll take the tiniest bits of irrelevant information to conclude things like "You don't like me anymore because you didn't answer your phone!" Ti/Ne will say something like, "She might still be working on her project. I'll talk to her later." Ti/Ne won't even really be more positive but just kinda neutral about things.

  5. #195
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Ti engagement. Specifically, I need to use Ne to feed Ti, not Fe. As long as the Ne/Fe cycle is running, I'll take the tiniest bits of irrelevant information to conclude things like "You don't like me anymore because you didn't answer your phone!" Ti/Ne will say something like, "She might still be working on her project. I'll talk to her later." Ti/Ne won't even really be more positive but just kinda neutral about things.
    I wasn't sure but yes, how you've explained it is how it rolls out with my INTP.

  6. #196
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    You'd think so, right? Nope, this does not work when Ne-Feing. Tried this with other INTPs and found they feel manipulated. Engaging Ti appears to put them into a more objective frame of mind, hence more inclined to listen and actually hear, rather than continuing to externally emote irrationality.
    i think you might have some different idea about Ne-Feing and are referring to some type of specific situation that im not aware of(you didnt explain much other than "NeFe = wacko emo and he needs me to activate Ti to sort it out").

    what came to my mind was that something you did triggered his Ne to look for possibilities of something and those possibilities were around something that he values a lot, if he goes bat shit crazy, its most likely about something he values being dangered(for example losing you because of X and Y). you cant really talk about anything happening between two functions alone and him being Ti dom, he will be using Ti and Si also. what happens after FeNe come up with a hypothesis that there is a possibility of losing something valuable, Ti starts to analyze it and try to invalidate the hypothesis and if by lack of information(you sharing how you feel and why for example) it is not possible to logically invalidate the hypothesis, it starts to haunt him, a lot and most likely everything starts to seem as if they were to back up this hypothesis, due to Si. this is where the emo shit storm happens because Ti cant inhibit those unconscious impulses and they brake free. but you see, if you are providing this missing information to him that makes it impossible for his Ti to come up with invalidation to his hypothesis about all sorts of nasty shit our wild imagination can come up with, then the whole hypothesis falls down and emo shit storm goes away.

    i dont even know how you would be able to engage his Ti in the first place, other than telling him logical reasons why he is wrong, but i dont think this is the best way to go, because if you really want to engage his Ti, you need to feed it with raw material(information about your feeling and reasons behind them for example) and let him do the Ti magic.

    lets say that he thinks that you were really unfair towards him about something important and he pretty much feels that it might be a deal breaker and he has went through all possible hypothesis for reasons behind your actions and cant find anything other than deal breaker stuff, so he gets emo. how do you think that you should be approaching this by engaging his Ti?
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  7. #197
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Ti engagement. Specifically, I need to use Ne to feed Ti, not Fe. As long as the Ne/Fe cycle is running, I'll take the tiniest bits of irrelevant information to conclude things like "You don't like me anymore because you didn't answer your phone!" Ti/Ne will say something like, "She might still be working on her project. I'll talk to her later." Ti/Ne won't even really be more positive but just kinda neutral about things.
    i dont agree with this Ti not being able to come up with grim shit with Ne, thats just totally absurd. also that "She might still be working on her project. I'll talk to her later." isnt any more Ti than "You don't like me anymore because you didn't answer your phone!". Ti is about reasoning and can come up with hundreds of reasons why not answering the phone means she doesent like you anymore. Ti is only objective in the sense that it doesent rule out the unwanted because its unwanted, if it rules out the unwanted its because its not logical and well, if it cant rule out the unwanted it can get pretty grim..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  8. #198
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    I know this is a really old thread, but I only just bothered to read the whole thing, because, frankly, once you've read one "INTPs make shitty partners" thread, you've read them all. I agree with whoever said type shouldn't be over-emphasised in a relationship. Particularly true when you consider how many people in this thread alone have subsequently changed their type. Which makes an absurdity of all the type-based analysis related to themselves.

    [edited per request]

    If it's true that INTPs do not relish commitment, it is not because they are immature, but the opposite. It is based on a better-than-average understanding and appreciation of human frailty. A frailty the vast majority seem to blithely ignore as they go about making promises that they are clearly unqualified to make and unlikely to keep.

    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post
    i think for me, the biggest frustration is that even the most basic form of commitment, my INTP can't commit to -- he's already doing it (not seeing other people, aka, be exclusive), but when pressed - "are we exclusive?", he can't tell me that he won't in the future cause he's not ready...nor can he even tell me how he feels about me or where he sees things going.

    i think the intp excuse of "being scared" is a lame one. heck, as the other party, i'm *really* scared too but i don't let it prevent me from pursuing it (esp. when i feel that i'm falling for him, and i can sense he is as well for me through his subtle actions). i second cafe's comment. some of these guys need to be a 'big boy' and just man up....
    You're right. It's not about being scared, it's about being realistic.

    Of course he can't predict the future, it's utterly unreasonable to demand that he do the impossible, just to make you feel secure. This is how deceit and dishonesty creep into relationships. If you did but know it, it's your own insecurity and immaturity that is/was jeopardising your happiness.
    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post
    "labels" matter to me because it shows that my intp cares.
    Labels mean nothing to INTPs. As such, all they show is that you have imposed your standards of what is desirable upon the relationship.
    If someone is already demonstrating commitment by his actions, then it is redundant to also express this in words. After all, why is commitment important to anyone? At root it's about fidelity. And when it comes to fidelity, actions are all that matter.
    I guess I don't understand why you're asking questions that a) you already know the answer to or b) are unanswerable. That kind of shit is pretty trying for an INTP. Smells of manipulation. Or stupidity.

    It is only because the INTP takes commitments seriously that he (wisely) hesitates. Fools rush in. Perhaps we take them too seriously? Too literally. Personally, I prefer that fault to the alternative.

    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    This is why F types throw me because to me it's a big deal tbut to them it isn't.
    Quite.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #199
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    It doesn't surprise me that I come to an INTP thread just to see a bunch of long and boring walls of text of an overly technical nature that I lack the proper patience as well as reasoning skills to understand or even look through.

    INTPs don't like people - I expressed that simple idea in 4 words whereas people like Salome and especially INTP take 1000 words to say.

    Please folks annihilate my inferior mind in an argument and show me the true incompetence of my insane assertions!

    I always like a good challenge. It gives me a chance to rise.

  10. #200
    Junior Member WheresMyBunnies's Avatar
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    Counter argument: I hug my friends, therefore I like people. Do I like the entire human race? No, but more than enough to say I like people.

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