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  1. #181
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Not every INTP remains an emotionally stunted 'tard preying on the stupidest and most gullible of the opposite sex.
    lol... still wondering where the word "relationship" factors into that post.

    Just sounds like a user/consumer to me.

    I would hope we could aspire to something even more challenging, more brave, and more liberating. Consuming/Using others is just a form of control based on fear of vulnerability, without which there is no such thing as "intimacy."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    lol... still wondering where the word "relationship" factors into that post.

    Just sounds like a user/consumer to me.

    I would hope we could aspire to something even more challenging, more brave, and more liberating. Consuming/Using others is just a form of control based on fear of vulnerability, without which there is no such thing as "intimacy."
    Sounds like a realist to me , someone who has "figured" it out and is now playing the game to "win", INTP's spend a majority of their young adulthood being doormats and losers when it comes to the opposite sex ,because we always try to make sense of our feelings, we approach everything from a logical perspective, even more so than other types , but that's a mistake as women are not logical, women are irrational creatures obsesses with fantasy, so we learn to put our logic on hold for the woman's sake because they usually don't make sense, but in return for that expect us to stay in a detached , nonreactive state emotionally.

    and by the way I think I used relationship 6 times in my post

  3. #183
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLM View Post
    Sounds like a realist to me , someone who has "figured" it out and is now playing the game to "win",
    That's exactly the problem.

    Relationships are not "games to win," they are collaborative efforts. And that is just the "barest of basics" when it comes to understanding relationships, it's a core foundation for actually building something healthy with someone else. If you're viewing relationships at core as a form of manipulation and exploitation by one part over the other, you're really not getting it regardless of how well you think you are playing the game.

    Been there, done that. I've twenty years of a difficult marriage behind me and it taught me a lot, made me reconsider where I was coming from. It was horrid to go through, but at least now I'm happy I did.
    INTP's spend a majority of their young adulthood being doormats and losers when it comes to the opposite sex ,because we always try to make sense of our feelings, we approach everything from a logical perspective, even more so than other types , but that's a mistake as women are not logical, women are irrational creatures obsesses with fantasy, so we learn to put our logic on hold for the woman's sake because they usually don't make sense, but in return for that expect us to stay in a detached , nonreactive state emotionally.
    I guess "women INTPs" are a contradiction to you, then?

    I don't think it's about putting your logic on hold, I think what would be of benefit (which I hinted at before) is learning to do something entirely new: Integrate your emotional life with your logic, learning how to view the world through different frameworks besides the hyper-intellect one you were born into. That is where true courage comes into play -- to put yourself in a position where nothing you know can be of use to you, in order to understand other people and engage them where they are at.

    Right now, you sound like you're just "humoring" women. Disdain for and/or humoring of another viewpoint with no intent to understand or truly engage is really nothing to brag about, nor will it bring a relationship where both people feel safe enough to open up to each other.

    and by the way I think I used relationship 6 times in my post
    Congrats. That and $120K + 120 credits will get you a degree in Psychology.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #184
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I don't think it's about putting your logic on hold, I think what would be of benefit (which I hinted at before) is learning to do something entirely new: Integrate your emotional life with your logic, learning how to view the world through different frameworks besides the hyper-intellect one you were born into. That is where true courage comes into play -- to put yourself in a position where nothing you know can be of use to you, in order to understand other people and engage them where they are at.
    If I knew how to do that, I would be . . . well, I'm not sure what I'd be, but I suspect alot of my questions would be answered. I have been in that position where nothing I know is of any use, and it is frustrating as hell. I suppose a downside of living with an INTP is that neither of us sees it as a high priority (or has a clue how) to correct this.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  5. #185
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    [QUOTE=Jennifer;1832776]That's exactly the problem.

    Relationships are not "games to win," they are collaborative efforts. And that is just the "barest of basics" when it comes to understanding relationships, it's a core foundation for actually building something healthy with someone else. If you're viewing relationships at core as a form of manipulation and exploitation by one part over the other, you're really not getting it regardless of how well you think you are playing the game.



    Been there, done that. I've twenty years of a difficult marriage behind me and it taught me a lot, made me reconsider where I was coming from. It was horrid to go through, but at least now I'm happy I did.


    It's not manipulation it's more about building attraction and drawing those emotions out, besides if the other party is willingly taking part in it, relationships are all about the man protecting the women and enjoying each others company, that's what sustains "healthy" relationships and that's what the OP is referring to with her and the INTP she no longer feels desirable or attracted to him because he no longer draws those feelings out because of critical mistakes he made with the "game"


    I guess "women INTPs" are a contradiction to you, then?

    I don't think it's about putting your logic on hold, I think what would be of benefit (which I hinted at before) is learning to do something entirely new: Integrate your emotional life with your logic, learning how to view the world through different frameworks besides the hyper-intellect one you were born into. That is where true courage comes into play -- to put yourself in a position where nothing you know can be of use to you, in order to understand other people and engage them where they are


    INTP females have it even harder than men because of traditional gender roles, but this same approach could apply to them as well as we all suffer from weak Fe which is the most critical aspect when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

    It's that same frame work of hyper-intelligence and detachment that initially attracts most women to us, but then our weak Fe usually messes it up as we don't understand the proper social protocols or how to emote properly to the opposite sex, and that's what she's in the OP about her INTP been there before it sounds just like me at 21-22 yrs old, I would start the relationship cool and logical, then my weak Fe or undestanding of women and my own emotions, I would say and do things that were inappropriate and push the woman away, INTP doesn't understand subtly when expressing emotions it usually just spills over, it's similar to feeding a man that hasn't eaten in days but INTP probably haven't expressed thier emotions in yrs, that's why once you combine understanding your emotions and keeping a tight lid on them and just exposing a woman to your keen intelliect while being detached emotionally which is more logical to do in relationships with women becuase the mystery and the fantasy keeps women attracted in relationships and not just foolishly spilling over your emotions, Men can't approach relationships logically so we're at a disadvantage being INTP whose Logic is our most dominant trait, so we sacrifice doing what is most reasonable but don't expect us to break that frame, expect the more seasoned INTP's to stay detached throughout the relationship.


    I got 10 yrs of experience and a degree in common sense that cost me nothing

  6. #186
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLM View Post
    Yeah being an INTP myself I can relate we REALLY struggle when it comes to the opposite sex but once we get "it" we become some of the most calculating , unemotional players of all 16 types, most pickup artist or hardcore players are in fact INTP

    14-19 adolescence is usually lived in our own heads afraid of intimacy most of us never have girlfriends or sex in high-school

    21-27 Young adulthood is us getting used to approaching women and having relationships , remember the typical male of other types has at least 5-7 yrs on us when dealing with the opposite sex, so we're just learning how to be in relationships. We usually use our significant others as a sponge for emotions we otherwise would never show on a day to day basis, once we finally are allowed to express those suppressed feelings of love, it's often too much for women to bare, and when we're not irrationally expressing ourselves. we spend the other part of our relationship doubting ourselves and over thinking everything which usually drives a woman nuts, so after a couple bad relationships and experiences with women we start to over analyze ourselves and go into a bitter self seclusion from women all together.

    late 20's -early 30's are when INTP usually put everything together, we either seek help for our ineptitude with dealing with the opposite sex, or our obsession with improving and perfecting every area of our lives drives us until we not only understand the opposite sex but we become masters of the game. That cool, collective, quirky yet emotionally detached INTP, will remain that way throughout the relationship because he now knows the ramifications of inappropriately spilling over his emotions too soon, as he knows it will throw women off guard and turn them off, it'll be extremely hard to get him to commit or get him in a frame of mind where he isn't control , as here the INTP has mastered himself but has also mastered how to be alone, we get so used to it that , relationships always come secondary at this point he has his mind made up about how he's going to live his life, it might include you and it may not but he could care less, as tomorrow he'll just build attraction with another woman. The game becomes his chess board and from here on every woman is just a pawn, nobody struggles yet succeeds with women quite like an INTP.
    This makes a lot of sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post


    Not every INTP remains an emotionally stunted 'tard preying on the stupidest and most gullible of the opposite sex.
    LOL. Afraid of the compeTITion?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #187
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    INTPs and relationships? Everybody knows that a true INTP is a loner who shuns the stupid multitudes!

  8. #188
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    When we fall in love with someone we are not falling in love with INTP , or ESTJ, or RBWZ , but with unique person. That person, has a personal history, family history. She/he also has certain beliefs, certain system for valuing. This person has it's goals, meaning, skills, preferences, likes and dislikes. It is more complicated that ISFJ or ENTP. I though of mentioning all this because I felt there was no personal touch to the problem of relationship of that girl and boy.
    I just want to bring this up, because it deserves much more attention then just general characteristics of the type.

    I think people should talk about how they see their close environment, how they see their friends and the idea of friendship. What they think about the idea of relationship. We should help each other out to bring out those thoughts. To share , which means to give and to receive. Of course, those are not only things we should talk about. We should also work together. Make things, write letters, read books to one another. Walk for the sake of walking. It's easy to say all this.

    Look at this short movie clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYUolurihOQ .... the point is that "THE SLOW BLADE PENETRATES THE SHIELD", it tells me a great secret, BE PATIENT, TAKE THINGS SLOW ENOUGH TO PENETRATE THE "SHIELD". Of course, we need practice.

    Obviously, this is how I see things.

  9. #189
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    INTPs go into a Ne-Fe thing when emotional and become completely irrational, since Ne's bouncing around, finding tenuous links to support their hurt. What I find works most of the time with my INTP, is to engage his Ti. In doing so, he regrounds when given enough space and time.

  10. #190
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    INTPs go into a Ne-Fe thing when emotional and become completely irrational, since Ne's bouncing around, finding tenuous links to support their hurt. What I find works most of the time with my INTP, is to engage his Ti. In doing so, he regrounds when given enough space and time.
    if Fe goes off the wall with Ne, i think its best if you just talk about your feelings and why you feel the way you do(doing this takes his Ti into the equation and might help him feel less frustrated and give in easier since he doesent have to just go with Fe) regarding that what ever thing thats off. if that INTP cares about your feelings, its processed with Fe by putting great importance to them and problem solved.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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