[NT] NTs does sincerity/sincere kindness make you defenseless?

[Lightyear]

I spoke to my INTJ mum on the telephone today and we were talking about how sincere kindness is one of the few things that can break through all of her barriers.

Basically she and my stepdad are going through a tough time at the moment (he recently lost his job and they are just about to buy a flat) so though I can't really do very much (we live in different countries) I sent her encouraging emails, offered her to support her financially if they get into trouble paying the bills etc. and after each email my rational, tough mum who is not afraid of a fight or a good challenge sent me back rather emotional emails, telling me how my messages made her cry.

When I asked her about that today she said that when someone challenges her she is cool with that or when someone puts on a mask of kindness in order to get something from her that is to be expected too but if someone is being sincerely kind to her without any ulterior motives that turns her emotions topsy turvey and just breaks through her all her defenses.

That reminded me of Synarch posting something similar, that he as an ENTP can deal with a lot but if someone is being sincerely kind to him he becomes kind of helpless because that's the one thing that breaks through his shell straight into his heart.

I was wondering if that is a general NT thing.

I as an NF am very much moved by sincere kindness but I wouldn't say that it makes me defenseless, being kind is my normal mode of dealing with people anyway (unless I am really stressed, then the ESTP shadow comes out ) so I am more on the other side that I am shocked when people are being heartless (though I should be old enough to know that that is how a lot of the world works)

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

Sincere kindness makes me silly putty.


So many people have an agenda, and I see straight through it. When I see someone commit selfless acts for the benefit of their fellow men, how can I resist loving them a little?

 

[INTP]

not defenseless, but makes me bend easier

 

[entropie]

Doesnt help, to break my will is impossible

 

[Lightyear]

Doesnt help, to break my will is impossible

Mmmmm... schau mal...

 

[entropie]

Hmhm, well you got me, but who can resist Schokoladentorte ?

To give my 5 cents: I think the mom issue you described is a normal thing. My girl and me moved several cities away from our parents and tho they are happy for us, there are still mails in which my or her mom heavily play the emotional card on random things and all they want to say is that they miss you.

I dont have kids myself yet, so I cant really put myself into their position but I am sure if I am that old I am gonna bug my kids the same way .

Concerning sincere kindness in people, well I dont know. I maybe do understand where Syn is coming from, namely some people, lets call em ESFPs for reasons that need not further to be explained , do have a knack of needling you for an emotional and kind response in a group. And tho my answer will be doubly cruel, given their mean attitude of wanting to provoke it, this maybe could be what Syn meant, dunno.

Under normal circumstances tho kindness is my primary mode of interacting with people and if they are not, they never gonna see me again.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

Mmmmm... schau mal...

Do all of the NTs get sincere kindness and free dessert, or just entropuppie?

 

[poppy]

Sincere kindness does have a tendency to melt me, especially when it's from strangers.

 

[Lightyear]

Sincere kindness does have a tendency to melt me, especially when it's from strangers.

*reaches all across cyberspace to hug you and watches you melt into your keyboard which unfortunately short-circuites your computer*

 

[Phantonym]

Well, true sincerity makes everybody defenseless because you don't have anything negative to turn against the person offering you nothing but kindness. How can you?

 

[EcK]

Do all of the NTs get sincere kindness and free dessert, or just entropuppie?

I'm with blah, I mean, you do seem like a very interesting person oh holder of the chocolate cake
*stares at cake*
*stares at cake further*
*starts reaching for the cake*

 

[Lightyear]

I'm with blah, I mean, you do seem like a very interesting person oh holder of the chocolate cake
*stares at cake*
*stares at cake further*
*starts reaching for the cake*

Oi!! Where are your manners? Do you want to see an NF turn unkind? :steam:

 

[INTP]

I'm with blah, I mean, you do seem like a very interesting person oh holder of the chocolate cake
*stares at cake*
*stares at cake further*
*starts reaching for the cake*

grab the cake fast and run

 

[EcK]

Oi!! Where are your manners? Do you want to see an NF turn unkind? :steam:

You can't forbid our love ! *snatches the cake, runs for his life*

 

[INTP]

that was fast enough

 

[Lightyear]

You can't forbid our love ! *snatches the cake, runs for his life*

He left me for a chocolate cake

 

[EcK]

He left me for a DELICIOUS chocolate cake

 

[Lightyear]

And I officially just derailed my own thread. Shall go to sleep now and let someone else rerail it.

 

[EcK]

And I officially just derailed my own thread. Shall go to sleep now and let someone else rerail it.

and I'm not really guilty if i didn't realise there was a topic in the first place


it's all your fault!

 

[tinkerbell]

You know when I was in nursing school we used to always say after a particularly difficult period where maybe some patients had died or it had just been really heavy for what ever reason, we'd say

"can deal with anything but not kindness"

Meaning I can be brave and get through this, but if somone stops and asks us how we were doing, we might very well fall to bits.

Kindness, and sincerity are very easy to spot, and touch me very deeply. I remember peoples kindnesses far more than their hurts. They stand out more for me... usualyl because they get me at a gut level