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  1. #61
    Senior Member Argus's Avatar
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    NTs does sincerity/sincere kindness make you defenseless?
    Unfortunately, more often than not, yes.
    You can call me Charles.

  2. #62

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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Right after my sister got out of the hospital, she was waiting at the front of the building for my dad to bring the car around because she was too weak to walk across the parking lot. She noticed a very sad-looking older lady standing near her who was also waiting for someone to come pick her up.

    Jaye smiled at her a little because she said the lady looked so forlorn and sad. The lady smiled back and said something cavalier, remarked what pretty roses Jaye had in her arms, but Jaye asked why she was there, and the lady said that her husband had cancer from the job he worked for decades and was in a coma. She was leaving to go home and sleep after along vigil and her brother-in-law was arriving to take the next bed-side shift.

    Jaye, after fighting for her own life, felt so sorry and sad for that lady - she wanted to hug her, but decided not to because Jaye said "I needed a bath" - but she gave the lady her roses. The lady looked astonished, then started to cry a little. Jaye found out that the lady's husband was in the hospital room occupied by me only a week before.

    "We'll pray for you," Jaye said. "We'll pray for you and your husband."

    When she got home, she was so distressed for that lady that I suggested we send flowers to his room with a card that read "From the girl with the roses... I didn't forget."

    I know what it would mean to me to have someone remember me and take my struggle seriously, take it to heart when I feel the most alone and drowning. That level of kindness obliterates me, but it brings me closer to my center again after bracing and bracing against the hard knocks.
    This sort of thing would leave me defenseless, I know.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  3. #63
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I'm pretty wary of people saying other people are fake. I've known an ISTJ for a long time who says a lot of things are fake from a lot of people whom I know to be genuine, and over the years I've realized that it's because for him, the only way he could show such responses would be to fake them, so he assumes other people aren't capable of them in a genuine way either. But obviously, just cos he's not capable of genuinely showing excitement at seeing a friend or relative by coincidence in a café (for example), it doesn't mean nobody else is.
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  4. #64
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I'm pretty wary of people saying other people are fake. I've known an ISTJ for a long time who says a lot of things are fake from a lot of people whom I know to be genuine, and over the years I've realized that it's because for him, the only way he could show such responses would be to fake them, so he assumes other people aren't capable of them in a genuine way either. But obviously, just cos he's not capable of genuinely showing excitement at seeing a friend or relative by coincidence in a café (for example), it doesn't mean nobody else is.
    I couldn't agree more! We all naturally see others using a lens based on our own experiences. Unfortunately, it doesn't always apply. Related to the F/T divide as well though not always - the confusion and misinterpretation exists at both ends.

  5. #65
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    Stupid small kindnesses totally restore my faith in humanity. I'm always like, "so the world isn't full of a bunch of power hungry selfish jerks everywhere."

    The woman at Costco who directed me go in front of her whole cart full of stuff when I had one item, for example. I mean, if I wouldn't begrudge her going first cause she wants to get out of there too. I mean it's pretty minor 30-seconds on her part but my gratitude for her niceness is way outsized for the small good deed.

    Or when the drunk and incoherent girl is helped to get off the bus at her correct stop by half the people there. The idea that the world isn't all just a big crap-hole makes me really happy since a lot of the time it totally is.

    I could come up with all kinds of examples, but little unexpected kindnesses to people, even if one of them isn't me, always make me feel better about things in general.

  6. #66
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    Sincere kindness goes right through. Sigh.

    Unless of course I have reasons such as differing interests to doubt your sincerity. In that case, all actions are interpreted with that conflict of interest in mind. This approach works well.

  7. #67
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    Sincere kindness kills. There is a quote from Queer as Folk where he goes "I am killing you with kindness." Which is true. Kindness kills. Always be wary.

  8. #68
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    Not really, no. However, it does make me far more inclined to be kind right back at them.

  9. #69
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Definatly not. It stands to reason that sincere kindness however does not result in us creating an offensive. But we're still far from defenseless.

    There's just simply no reason to defend against sincere kindness.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #70
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    No.

    Honest kindness is a rare gem in life. More often than not, most acts of would-be compassion tend to undercarriage a self-serving caveat of some sort.

    Encountering real humanity is a profound event. We should all be so lucky.

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