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  1. #11
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandwich View Post
    If they want an explanation they'll ask, otherwise it probably isn't terribly important.
    but if i dont explain they wont understand my actions and i want them to understand or else they will get false image from me
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  2. #12
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    The avatars behind the :rolli: 523444355434543543534543534543534 534543534 54334 345543 5343 5543 5654 5322 6578 wqwr

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    but if i dont explain they wont understand my actions and i want them to understand or else they will get false image from me
    I know what you mean. But I think explanations often do not work, because you are implying that others need to be corrected in their understanding of the situation. Whether this is true or not is irrelevant, they have already formed an impression of you, and are not interested to learn why they might be wrong. If you've created a problem, the better thing is to apologize, empathise and offer a solution. Alternatively, just do better next time. This would go a longer way in improving your image, if you care enough to do so.

  4. #14
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krunchtime View Post
    I know what you mean. But I think explanations often do not work, because you are implying that others need to be corrected in their understanding of the situation. Whether this is true or not is irrelevant, they have already formed an impression of you, and are not interested to learn why they might be wrong. If you've created a problem, the better thing is to apologize, empathise and offer a solution. Alternatively, just do better next time. This would go a longer way in improving your image, if you care enough to do so.
    Im mainly talking about situations where something really isnt my fault or there isnt eny problem that i created. If i do something wrong, i usually say it if there are other things effecting the situation(where im partly guilty) that werent my fault, i tell yes this is my fault and this happened too, then people see it as 100% excuses and that im trying to say that it wasnt my fault, even when i do say that it was mostly my fault..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    Im mainly talking about situations where something really isnt my fault or there isnt eny problem that i created. If i do something wrong, i usually say it if there are other things effecting the situation(where im partly guilty) that werent my fault, i tell yes this is my fault and this happened too, then people see it as 100% excuses and that im trying to say that it wasnt my fault, even when i do say that it was mostly my fault..
    In the first scenario, basically, you're not directly involved and are just explaining the situation? In that case, check whether your listener is interested in hearing explanations? If they are not, they'll just dismiss it. In the second scenario, well, shouldering half (or 80%) the responsibility is often considered insufficient by angry people. They want you to shoulder all (100%) of it.

  6. #16
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krunchtime View Post
    In the first scenario, basically, you're not directly involved and are just explaining the situation? In that case, check whether your listener is interested in hearing explanations? If they are not, they'll just dismiss it. In the second scenario, well, shouldering half (or 80%) the responsibility is often considered insufficient by angry people. They want you to shoulder all (100%) of it.
    I mean the kind of situations that would look that its my fault, but really isnt and trying to explain why its not.

    This kind of situation makes me want to explain much too and happens me at times. I got this really nice camera with really nice lens and really nice flash(worth 5k+ together new and im not rich). Im no professional photographer and i wouldnt really need this good equipment at this point, but im planning of getting profession out of photography and i bought them when i was working and had the money(but still this kind of setup is much for the money i made(not working enymore)). When (new)people see my camera theyr usually like wow shit and i get the feeling that they think im trying to brag or show off with it or just think that i dont need that good of camera and its stupid for me to spend so much money on it. This makes me want to explain why i bought it or they will get false image out of me, because im really not enything like that. But since theyr new people and i would just sound even more idiot if id start to explain this to them suddenly, i dont do it. But i got this huge urge to explain it still and i feel bad because i cant, unless they ask and they usually wont ask..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  7. #17
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    Sorry, I'm revising this post to monitor my own communication skills. Saying "dont worry" can be read as a sign of dismissal rather than comfort. Let me rephrase it. What I want to say is, all of it is happening in your mind, but might not actually be taking place in reality. They are expressing admiration for the camera, but might not necessarily be judging you. You need time to let others get to know you, instead of worrying about how they perceive you. Okay, done.

  8. #18
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    I get it a lot too, must be an NT thing. I'm just glad when I was older and I had more options to be around people that actually had brains who gave me advice like "You don't
    have to take people's crap."

  9. #19
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    OMG this happens to me so much

    "Stop making excuses!"

    It's called flawing your logic! Deal with it!

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    I mean the kind of situations that would look that its my fault, but really isnt and trying to explain why its not.

    This kind of situation makes me want to explain much too and happens me at times. I got this really nice camera with really nice lens and really nice flash(worth 5k+ together new and im not rich). Im no professional photographer and i wouldnt really need this good equipment at this point, but im planning of getting profession out of photography and i bought them when i was working and had the money(but still this kind of setup is much for the money i made(not working enymore)). When (new)people see my camera theyr usually like wow shit and i get the feeling that they think im trying to brag or show off with it or just think that i dont need that good of camera and its stupid for me to spend so much money on it. This makes me want to explain why i bought it or they will get false image out of me, because im really not enything like that. But since theyr new people and i would just sound even more idiot if id start to explain this to them suddenly, i dont do it. But i got this huge urge to explain it still and i feel bad because i cant, unless they ask and they usually wont ask..
    Quit making excuses already.
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
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    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
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