I am new. Maybe this is a new direction to the topic.. still I think this thread is spot on to what troubles me. I am not going to write long stories (they are irrelevant after all), but how do you know specifically if an ENTJ man is in love?
Someone at work flirts with me for months (going very slowly) and shows many of the characteristics of this particular type. He behaves like another person I know, who is definitely an ENTJ, but I haven't got close enough to figure it out myself. I don't want to yet (yes, even after these months). His controlling nature comes out, for example, when he asks me questions in an subtle, yet assertive way. Does this sound like an ENTJ?
Maybe if I were in position to know his type I could feel a little more in control. I like him. But that is not enough for me...you know?
He has been asking around about me. I have chosen not to do the same. Any words of wisdom?
When you have been in a relationship for 20 years and through extensive analysis, you can't see any way it could possibly fail that is more than 2% likely to occur in the remainder of your lives, assuming you live to approximately the average age for your gender and country.
Ti | Fi | Ne | Si | Te | Ni | Fe | Se
Enneagram: 5w4 sx/sp
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."
.... I see her smiling, and suddenly I recognise that I get happy just because, and I don't want more in live than making her happy. It's often really stunning, something like: "What? I'm in love.... with HER?"
I usually don't recognise my feelings until they give me a broad hint.
They say I only think in form of crunching numbers.....
-Fall Out Boy
When I realize that a person whom I have admired for their integrity and courage for quite some time suddenly either puts me in my place with sagacity and wit or makes me completely lose control with laughter doing something completely random and ballsy (This is usually an ISTP).
I know I'm in love when I feel scared. Being in love makes me feel brilliant and awful at the same time. I hate feeling vulnerable, it scares me. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.....which we all know leads to THE DARK SIDE. And then my relationships wither and die.
The trick for me is determining the difference between love and limerance. I've been in the former only once and the latter more times than I care to admit to.
Limerance is probably the worst feeling ever. My thoughts become cloudy, I obsess over the details of our interactions and I just feel panicked and stupid (as someone else said "where did my wit go?!). I blush a lot and generally make a big fool of myself. Crushes are awful and after my last one, I've absolved to not do them again. If I feel infatuation coming on, I'll reason the hell out of it and it eventually buggers off. Then I can go ahead and have a normal relationship with the person.
Love, on the other hand, is something so tremendously beautiful I can't put accurate words to it. It's so wonderful and not at all crippling, instead it's empowering and inspiring (despite making me feel so vulnerable). Love is absolutely amazing. I totally understand why people seek it out so fervently. I have no real clue as to how it happens, but if it ever happens to me again, I'm gonna enjoy every last second of it.