[MBTI General] Why I couldn't possibly be an NF

[Shimmy]

DISCLAIMER: The title is meant to provoke a bit. It's an attention drawer and by no means a fact, or in fact a full coverage of the thread. This thread is about a realisation I had about dealing with my feelings. If you think the title is faulty. Plenty of people helpfully pointed it out already.

I made an observation about myself yesterday which, after a bit of theorizing made me realize why I couldn't possibly be an NF.

When I have an emotion I think about why I have it. Although I came to the realisation yesterday, this morning was a good example. (Pay attention, an INTP is rare enough to tell a personal story here). This night I dreamt about my ex, whom I got dumped by just a week ago. Over the past week I was starting to feel continuously better about it, but when I woke up this morning I was missing her very badly. I basically wanted to call her, hold her etc. But then I started to think about why I suddenly had this reaction after a week of feeling better. I knew that the neurotransmitter and hormone Oxytocin is responsible for the feeling of togetherness and attachment in people. Obviously my brain had fired a high shot of that stuff on my neurons. But why? Quite possibly because of the dream I had just a couple of minutes before. And as you might now, dreams, though usually random and occurring without a pattern, can be influenced by what was on your mind before you went to bed. And sure enough, before I went to sleep I was thinking about my ex-girlfriend.

The realisation that everything I felt was merely a physical reaction with a logical cause and effect was soothing. I knew the reaction would end. And based on that I decided not to call that girl, at least not while under emotional influence, I wouldn't know what to say to her any way and would've probably made the physical reaction last longer. At the moment the oxytocin is probably being reabsorbed or broken down by my neurons, that's why I can sit here and write about my realisation in relative calmness and comfort.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Virtual ghost]

To be honest I can see an INFJ acting like this.

 

[entropie]

I feel ya, I wish I had that amount of control. A night drunk with my feelings usually goes like this:

It all starts with: YouTube - Placebo- Johnny and Mary

Then at some point comes: YouTube - Jumped - Loituma Jumpstyle Remix

Then until the peak is reached there is total depression: YouTube - Technoboy - Ti Sento

And then I tend to fade away from exhaustion. On the next morning its then back to 1, with no regret or rememberance at all.

 

[Shimmy]

To be honest I can see an INFJ acting like this.

Well, does telling you that I'm still moulding in my head the concept of how emotions work and how you might be able to manipulate them, and the fact that I'm currently still thinking about calling her, and realizing that not being emotional has the advantage of me being able to actually talk to her sensibly change your mind?

Actually, though it might indeed not be apparent from the story, my P is tremendous, maybe even to the point where it becomes a bad thing.

@ Entropie, that's usually my preferred way of dealing with bad feelings as well. Overstimulus of the senses. On the other hand, in order to be actually centered and happy again first of all the right physiological state must be achieved, where the hormones and the neurotransmitters are in the right state and present in the right amount. Alcohol doesn't help with this process, it can just reduce the pain up until the right physiological state is reached.

 

[entropie]

Well, does telling you that I'm still moulding in my head the concept of how emotions work and how you might be able to manipulate them, and the fact that I'm currently still thinking about calling her, and realizing that not being emotional has the advantage of me being able to actually talk to her sensibly change your mind?

Actually, though it might indeed not be apparent from the story, my P is tremendous, maybe even to the point where it becomes a bad thing.

You shouldnt legitimate yourself for what provoker said. He is just wrong or wants to be funny. A NF would access all the little parts of the big picture of a feeling and then analzyse what led to what and what influences what, but warding ones feeling off by rationalizing them is NT spirit, I fear :/

 

[Athenian200]

You're evil, Shimmy, I have to admit.

This doesn't prove you couldn't be an NF, though. It just proves that you're very self-critical about your emotional states. And while not all NFs are, some of them do become very self-critical about such things, looking for the reasons for them.

Obviously you are an NT based on your other posts, but this isn't proof. Just for the record.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Well, does telling you that I'm still moulding in my head the concept of how emotions work and how you might be able to manipulate them, and the fact that I'm currently still thinking about calling her, and realizing that not being emotional has the advantage of me being able to actually talk to her sensibly change your mind?

Actually, though it might indeed not be apparent from the story, my P is tremendous, maybe even to the point where it becomes a bad thing.

I am not questioning your type it is just that I see something that can be a hole in logic/title.

 

[entropie]

Care to elaborate ? Dont understand NF-insiders

 

[entropie]

Regarding the gf issue tho, what would be the most important thing here: I had after a 2 year break of a 4 year long relationship still emotional flashbacks, when entering certain frames of mind, stimulated by something I saw or smelled.

It's ridicioulus how well the bodily hormone system remembers. It'ld be intresting to think about the impact things have subconciously on the brain, which I bet is far more heavier than the concious one.

But what to do against it ? How to ward that off ? That would be an intresting question

 

[Amargith]

Shimmy, this does not necessarily mean you're not NF...just so you know

 

[entropie]

lol, you guys crack me up. But keep it coming I am hitting the 7,000 slowly and steady

 

[Shimmy]

Regarding the gf issue tho, what would be the most important thing here: I had after a 2 year break of a 4 year long relationship still emotional flashbacks, when entering certain frames of mind, stimulated by something I saw or smelled.

It's ridicioulus how well the bodily hormone system remembers. It'ld be intresting to think about the impact things have subconciously on the brain, which I bet is far more heavier than the concious one.

But what to do against it ? How to ward that off ? That would be an intresting question

You can't really stop it, it's beyond your control. But the realisation that it's merely a natural reaction you can't control, makes it very easy, at least for me, to not act on it. Then it usually passes pretty quick.

As for Athenian and antisocial one. No this isn't definitive proof, obviously even NF's, plenty of them, can control their feelings as well. What I think does make something of a difference is the fact that I just made a system around it, defined it logically and figured out what was going on. That, plus the fact that I don't even put a value judgement on my own emotions would make me the most horrible Intuitive Feeler ever.

The title indeed might indeed be a bit radical, but it gets attention, and the point across.

 

[Amargith]

Nope, that's what you can get as well as an NF, I just took a different road there.

 

[Athenian200]

Regarding the gf issue tho, what would be the most important thing here: I had after a 2 year break of a 4 year long relationship still emotional flashbacks, when entering certain frames of mind, stimulated by something I saw or smelled.

It's ridicioulus how well the bodily hormone system remembers. It'ld be intresting to think about the impact things have subconciously on the brain, which I bet is far more heavier than the concious one.

Very true. I conditioned myself to feel powerless for so many years growing up, that I've configured myself to suppress impulses rather than act on them. It's hard to fight my emotions and instincts in order to push myself to success.

The body and instincts remember very well, old fears, old loves, etc.

But what to do against it ? How to ward that off ? That would be an intresting question

Yes, I think so. This post provokes interesting thought. I'm going to have to ward something like that off, so I'll let you know.

My intuition tells me that the answer is what psychologists call exposure therapy and positive reinforcement in the case of fears, and negative conditioning when it comes to love. Quite simply, you find ways of making positive associations with things you feared before that are now beneficial, and ways of making negative, painful associations with things you once loved that are now harmful. Those are ways of making your emotions catch up to your mind, if you can find ways to effect them in your life.

 

[entropie]

Your intuition tells you ? Man those NFs do make me angry

 

[Athenian200]

Your intuition tells you ? Man those NFs do make me angry

Why does that make you angry? Does your intuition tell you nothing? Are you jealous?

 

[Shimmy]

Nope, that's what you can get as well as an NF, I just took a different road there.

Okay, I added a disclaimer about the title in the OP to make sure the thread will go about the content instead of the title in the future.

 

[entropie]

Why does that make you angry? Does your intuition tell you nothing? Are you jealous?

Well you said: your intuition tells you and then talked about a therapy method you know about. The combination of the two makes you sound wise cause you used big words, but there is no logical connection between them.

That's like a politician, who talks in big words about a country that is going down the hill, with the difference, you dont used big words, you just used other words in the wrong context.

Every THC guru who has ventured beyond the planes of existance and back in his mind would be totally offended about the fact of you using the word intuition in connection with therapy methods.

 

[Athenian200]

Well you said: your intuition tells you and then talked about a therapy method you know about. The combination of the two makes you sound wise cause you used big words, but there is no logical connection between them.

That's like a politician, who talks in big words about a country that is going down the hill, with the difference, you dont used big words, you just used other words in the wrong context.

Every THC guru who has ventured beyond the planes of existance and back in his mind would be totally offended about the fact of you using the word intuition in connection with therapy methods.

Actually, what I said is true because of how I defined intuition. I was using it as a synonym for hunch, which it IS a synonym for if you look at a thesaurus.

In this case, I had a hunch (or vague guess) that the therapy methods I mentioned were effective. Since I haven't seen proof of it, and don't logically understand what makes it work, that counts.

 

[Amargith]

As for the content, I'd say you're using a very effective tool to navigate the flood caused by emotions. A lot of people either drown in their own emotions or run from them, or worse, both. Disarming your emotions, as you just did, is in fact ime the best way of digesting them properly. You didn't deny their existance, you acknowledged them, you saw where they came from and you were able to be amused at yourself for feeling them, given the situation, yet without judging or punishing yourself over it. You also didn't fight them, or run from them. And, you probably realized that these were not productive emotions to act on. So you didn't.

I use the same method nowadays, because it is such an effective tool. Took me a while to figure it out though
How long have you been doing this? And what caused it?