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  1. #11
    Senior Member Nonpareil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ps646566 View Post
    If you don't know how to be happy then it might be due to non-clinical depression, rather than personality trait as such, (though I suspect that there are connections there which are not fully understood). Have you tried or thought about St John's Wort ?
    That's the thing, I don't know how to explain it. It's not depression, it's the lack of identity. When I say I don't know how to be happy, I'm saying, I don't know when and if I'm happy. When you have lived (in my case), most of my life being told how I should act, think and behave, you lose the sense of who you are and what you really want.

    That's why I say I don't know how to be happy. I am still trying to find out what I enjoy - what really makes me happy.

    This is coming from a lost INTJ, with tons of opinions and even more large dreams....I need to find me, find my balance and then grow.

    Can you expand on your experiences for me? Or PM me....if you are curious, you can read my blog to get a better insight of me, I am working on opening up there and sharing my life experiences.
    Sorry for any typos, spelling or grammer errors but I'm a bit preoccupied planning my wedding.
    Or if you want to read more about me and help me gain more insight to your world (I do need more experiences in life), feel free to skim through my blog.

  2. #12
    Member ps646566's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haight View Post

    Sorry my friend, but that's bad advice.

    If I were to be what I am at all times, then I would never leave the house, because what I am is a hermit/recluse. And although that idea is very appealing - the bit about staying home all the time - it's a drain on the funds, if you know what I'm saying.

    Besides, the chameleon trait is there for a purpose and it should be used to its fullest, IMHO.

    ...

    Again, learned that one around age 20. Your personality is such that those types try to take advantage of the quiet, shy, and passive INT personality. However, letting someone take advantage of you is weak. And no INTJ is going to allow the weak to prevail over them. . . are they?

    Here's your answer: So I guess you have to be older than me for the "disillusionment" to end.
    Re not trying to be what you are not, obviously this cannot be applied indiscriminately because of the realities of life. What I meant was 'to the extent possible', which is why I specifically mentioned non-work situations where there may be more choices available. But I rather think that you knew that,

    Just to put things in perspective, as a matter of fact my temperament is not especially shy, and certainly not passive or quiet. I do not appear to be the typical INTJ, though I test that way. The 'J' is weakish though, which may help to explain it ?
    INTJ bordering on ISTJ

  3. #13
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ps646566 View Post
    What I meant was 'to the extent possible', which is why I specifically mentioned non-work situations where there may be more choices available. But I rather think that you knew that,


    Quote Originally Posted by ps646566 View Post
    Just to put things in perspective, as a matter of fact my temperament is not especially shy, and certainly not passive or quiet. I do not appear to be the typical INTJ, though I test that way. The 'J' is weakish though, which may help to explain it ?
    I'm not sure about that. I would think that it has more to do with E/I. For example, I know three INTJs; one is passive with a weak J and strong I; the second isn't shy or passive, but is somewhat quiet - he picks his targets carefully, in other words - with a strong J and a weak I; the third one is quiet, described as shy by others, and passive aggressive with a weak J and weak I.

    But then, what the hell do I know.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  4. #14
    Member ps646566's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haight View Post


    I'm not sure about that. I would think that it has more to do with E/I. For example, I know three INTJs; one is passive with a weak J and strong I; the second isn't shy or passive, but is somewhat quiet - he picks his targets carefully, in other words - with a strong J and a weak I; the third one is quiet, described as shy by others, and passive aggressive with a weak J and weak I.

    But then, what the hell do I know.
    Well, you know more than I do ! I'm a complete rookie where this MBTI stuff is concerned, and am pleased to read any sensible opinion. For what it's worth my scores came out as I 72% N 88% T 62% J 47 %. I can relate to much of the INTJ conventional wisdom, but not to the 'passive' stuff. One of my problems has been lashing out too strongly and too freely, though I've learned to mostly control it in latter years.
    INTJ bordering on ISTJ

  5. #15
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ps646566 View Post
    One of my problems has been lashing out too strongly and too freely, though I've learned to mostly control it in latter years.
    Well, that probably has to do with that weak T you got there.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  6. #16
    GirlAmerica
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    I am borderline J/P.....I am neither shy nor passive in the least.
    I just have to give a damn to involve myself.

  7. #17
    Member ps646566's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlAmerica View Post
    I am borderline J/P.....I am neither shy nor passive in the least.
    I just have to give a damn to involve myself.
    Yep, I can relate to that. It's all shades of grey -- nothing to do with the workings of the human mind is straightforward or clear cut.
    INTJ bordering on ISTJ

  8. #18
    Resident Snot-Nose GZA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I like your points. However, I dislike this last one. It's true for most people. It's also true that most people will not give a true 100% day after day. I've seen people who dream big and commit even bigger and pull off the most amazing things that truly have made a huge difference in this world. (And inspired a lot of others to make a difference, so if you count the ripple effects one person can make a huge difference.)
    Yah, I was thinking that the last point is kind of funny because I think that the attitude that the world can't be changed or that its too big or that there are few who can do it (sorry, I can't remember exactly what you said) is probably the number one reason few people are able to make a difference like they hope they can at some point in their life. I have little life experience in this, but I don't see why someone shouldn't go after that if thats what they want to do, and I don't see why someone couldn't do it with a lot of work and some luck (which also happen to eb things you need to be otherwise succesful).

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