He likes insensitive jokes, he thinks of kindness as a weakness, disagrees with authority figures, he doesn't realize he's critical etc. = NOT SJ..
No, all of those traits are really more TJ in general. STJs can be very "insensitive" and I have met plenty who were just as distrustful of authority figures as any INTJ. You've way oversimplified the matter here.
neptunesnet, why do you think he's an E? What happened to always staying at home? :/
Forget the staying at home thing.
He seems much more TeNi than NiTe. His Fi is inferior as it baffles him, but he certainly understands TeFi rationale. Also, he's much more preoccupied by what's efficient than by how things are connected, or how a situation/point of view can be interpreted differently (and yes, he has the capacity to do it, just gets stuck in dominant Te).
And as much as I hate to say it, I think he's more likable when he channels his aux-Ni. It's hard to explain other than it has a really nice calming effect on him, which softens his actions & how he expresses himself. As he matures, I see him navigating & trying to understand that more, which is good.
As of right now, I still think he's ENTJ. I'd add 8w7 sx/so to it. But, the possibility of his being INTJ 8w7 sx/so is just as valid, I suppose. It's hard to say definitively since I haven't seen him in a while.
I personally think you are a victim of belief in stereotypes. It is impossible for all INTJs to conform to the standards of an INTJ personality. Agreeably, an INTJ is LIKELY to behave in a way that the general INTJ assessments suggest, but each one is vastly different. I, for example, rarely crack jokes, and when I do, it has something to do with the subjects I'm studying. I do have an anger issue, but not with my belongings being touched by other people.
To further strengthen my point, let me give you the example of the only other INTJ whom I personally know. To say we don't get along, is an understatement. We have a lot in common- our beliefs, our habits, so on and so forth. However, there are certain factors I dislike in him. For one thing, he's a raging pervert, while my sexual drive is fairly under control. It's one, completely acceptable thing to have a fantasy, but a different thing to attempt to play it out on 'friends'. The other thing is that he's too quick to judge. I myself, judge, but only after having gone through all facts and data available, with a fine toothed comb. He, on the other hand, judges on the basis of first impressions.
So, to get back to the topic, you ought to try and learn about your friend, and accept him as he is, as opposed to expecting him to turn out the way that is suggested by the INTJ assessments.
Possibly the singular ability to shutdown conversation, bring joviality to a halt and make others feel uncomfortable with your mere presence. Just guessing. For most of my life I thought I had anti-charisma because I did not understand other peoples reactions to me. I felt cursed.