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  1. #41
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joslynk View Post
    Cranky - I get the same stunned expressions if I ever do anything considered nice whether it be errands or complements. I was amazed at how people looked at me differently after I attempted to be "nice". I never realized people thought I was so cold/heartless. I always thought of myself as quirky & insane but lovable..to a point. HAHAHA

    But it's not something I can do 24/7. I try to mix it up once in a while, get some variety in life. Heh.
    Exactly. It's a very strange feeling. I didn't realize that people looked at me that way either. I don't see any real reason to be mean to people; I was just being honest.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

  2. #42
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    Damn. It's exactly the same for me. It's never intentional, just how I am.

  3. #43
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    I'm a 5w4, bitch! :p Albeit with a strong 3w2 heart fix. And at least to me having good connections with other people is important...no matter the type. And in fact I prefer a mixed group.

    I wonder what gives you that impression...the e5 one. What behaviours...
    i'm s 5w4 too. it's called self-awareness.

    5w4 has a very strong need to communicate its vision to the world/others. add in the sx/sp and the need for self-expression and freshness/getting fresh is very strong.

    also, i don't know what 3w2 heart fix means.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acidic Liquid View Post
    Is it just me, or do all NTs get generalized as being rude and arrogant?
    I think I used to have that reputation... not because I did it deliberately, but because I was completely unaware of the effect my words and actions had on others. Once I started to take note, it embarassed me and made me sad. I've been working for a long time on 'being nice'... and it has made my world a much more fulfilling place. I still screw up sometimes when I get into something that I'm passionate about, but I've found that 'practice makes perfect' and after a while, I didn't have to try anymore.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    I think I used to have that reputation... not because I did it deliberately, but because I was completely unaware of the effect my words and actions had on others. Once I started to take note, it embarassed me and made me sad. I've been working for a long time on 'being nice'... and it has made my world a much more fulfilling place. I still screw up sometimes when I get into something that I'm passionate about, but I've found that 'practice makes perfect' and after a while, I didn't have to try anymore.
    Exactly. I don't see any real reason to be mean to people. I think the INF types that are always looking to connect to people are strange. It's EXHAUSTING to be always trying to figure out what people are thinking. Still, I don't really go out of my way to make small children cry, or beat up on old ladies, or be rude to waiters. It just sort of happens without me meaning to do it. If someone would just write up a handbook of social interactions (and I don't mean Emily Post...I already read that book cover to cover, and knowing which fork goes where doesn't seem to stop baristas from cowering when I walk into the Tullys), I'd be THRILLED.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

  6. #46
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    Part of being as smart as I am (think numbers that would make Einstein blush) is KNOWING how smart I am. It irritates me when people argue with me when they are either smart enough to know I'm smarter than them and how much I know about a topic, and hence know I'm far more likely to be right than them---OR they're not smart enough to know the difference. One way, they should know better, and the other way isn't worth my time and energy to bother to try to change their minds.
    You know, I am INTP and I know how INTJs think just by picking up the vibes. I definitely know when I come into contact with someone who has got all their facts laid out AND has done all the thinking, which is pretty rare. By then you already have a conclusion, I don't need to argue with the metaphorical you, I just need to gather all the facts and assess them to come to a reasonably similar conclusion.

    (Anyone ever wanted to know how an INTJ REALLY thinks...there you go. )
    There are some people that it's a pleasure to argue with, because they're both smart enough to know I'm smarter AND they know as much or more than I do on a given topic, OR they're as smart as or smarter than me. (Two of my grad school professors are highly likely to have had much higher IQs than me--notably, I dress more nicely and smell FAR better than they did )

    Now, THERE'S some INTJ arrogance for you.
    Guess what I've learned? People don't like it when you treat them like idiots when you deign to notice their presence, and they CERTAINLY don't like being ignored. Here's the problem: a great deal of my life is determined by people not under my immediate control. My employer, my doctor, my family, my friends, my landlord, my barista---these people control whether or not I have money, health, Christmas presents (yay!), people who love me, a place to live, and more importantly than anything else: my morning coffee.
    Feh, goes without saying. I don't know whether INTJs are really as oblivious as you say but I tend to give then the benefit of the doubt that they are just choosing to be selective about people, which I sometimes do (except on different criteria - I like people as long as they are nice and fuzzy)

    Maybe it's not entirely awful to be kind to people. It HAS produced an unfortunate side effect of more people wanting to talk to me, but I find that an iPod, shades, and a hat provide their usual comforting anonymity and ambient noise transformation.
    LOL Okay, so what's the point of this experiment for you? Is it to gather empirical data on human reaction to unexpected kindness, or to see how other people respond to you when you change your usual behavior, or to see whether this new style would work out for you well in the long run?

  7. #47
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krunchtime View Post
    You know, I am INTP and I know how INTJs think just by picking up the vibes. I definitely know when I come into contact with someone who has got all their facts laid out AND has done all the thinking, which is pretty rare. By then you already have a conclusion, I don't need to argue with the metaphorical you, I just need to gather all the facts and assess them to come to a reasonably similar conclusion.



    Feh, goes without saying. I don't know whether INTJs are really as oblivious as you say but I tend to give then the benefit of the doubt that they are just choosing to be selective about people, which I sometimes do (except on different criteria - I like people as long as they are nice and fuzzy)



    LOL Okay, so what's the point of this experiment for you? Is it to gather empirical data on human reaction to unexpected kindness, or to see how other people respond to you when you change your usual behavior, or to see whether this new style would work out for you well in the long run?
    Now, THIS gets to the meat of the question. I'm about to post a topic explaining a new theory I have about nice people vs. mean people, which you should read. Give me a few hours.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

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