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  1. #11
    Junior Member Acidic Liquid's Avatar
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    Is it just me, or do all NTs get generalized as being rude and arrogant?

  2. #12
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acidic Liquid View Post
    Is it just me, or do all NTs get generalized as being rude and arrogant?
    We deserve it.

    And *I* am only arrogant because I'm JUST THAT GOOD.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

  3. #13
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I hate to sound trollish but I find it contradictory that you claim to be such a smart person and yet the very basics of human interaction recently dawned on you. That doesn't sound very smart to me. People do all types of bizarre things like being kind and caring towards you when you treat them as more than gum on the sole of your shoe.

    But either way, I'm happy that you've at least had the conversion. I hope it's genuine and it lasts.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  4. #14
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    Most people are only smart at certain things. Then they arrogantly assume they are smart at ALL things, leading to laughable failure in areas where they are weak.

  5. #15
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Kindness in an INTJ...

    I don't know if this is kindness or "efficiency", but it's probably kinder to start telling people what decisions you make. Simple example: people sometimes ask why I didn't answer the phone or reply to a text message, and I'll come up with some fudged excuse rather than tell them, dude, I just didn't want to talk to you, I was putting my alone time and interests ahead of caring for you, K? Now, is it caring to fudge that hard-edged selfish time management, or is it kind to spell it all out and let the other person make their own decision? Spelling it all out is harder. There's, oh, I dunno, maybe 15 of the other 16 types that don't want to hear that from you, and you have to deal with the fall out... But still.


    What, no, yeah, your ass is like two hippopotamuses wrestling in those pants.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  6. #16
    Senior Member Cranky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I hate to sound trollish but I find it contradictory that you claim to be such a smart person and yet the very basics of human interaction recently dawned on you. That doesn't sound very smart to me. People do all types of bizarre things like being kind and caring towards you when you treat them as more than gum on the sole of your shoe.

    But either way, I'm happy that you've at least had the conversion. I hope it's genuine and it lasts.
    Ok, SERIOUSLY. No one gets my humor.

    I'm JOKING. In a self-deprecating fashion.

    The kindness part isn't a joke, though. I really have been trying to treat people with more kindness over the last few weeks. I got treated really crummily by an INFP, and I'm trying to do the karmic thing where I return kindness for cruelty. So far, it's making me feel better than being a total bitch would.

    Mostly.
    Personally, *I* think I'm hysterically funny.

  7. #17
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky View Post
    Ok, SERIOUSLY. No one gets my humor.

    I'm JOKING. In a self-deprecating fashion.

    The kindness part isn't a joke, though. I really have been trying to treat people with more kindness over the last few weeks. I got treated really crummily by an INFP, and I'm trying to do the karmic thing where I return kindness for cruelty. So far, it's making me feel better than being a total bitch would.

    Mostly.
    Hey, hey now. A lot of people come on this forum saying the exact thing in glinty-eyed seriousness.

    I feel like most people I come across are agreeable but I realize how I treat them effects how they treat me.

    Wait until you get better at it and if you're having a bad day at work, somebody brings you a cranberry and gin and a sympathetic pat on the back. You will have arrived.

    And that's a true story.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  8. #18
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acidic Liquid View Post
    Is it just me, or do all NTs get generalized as being rude and arrogant?
    I wouldn't stereotype NTs in that way. I can understand where they're coming from, usually, and that it's not meant to be taken as arrogance. Many of them simply communicate and present their ideas without any window dressing, which comes off as arrogance to people unwilling to understand.

    As for Cranky—an INTJ on a quest for kindness. It's so cute. Tell ya what: I'll help you on your quest for kindness if you'll help me on my quest to become mastermind of the universe. (Actually sorta kidding; the INTJs I've met are naturally nice! ) Oh, and sorry to hear an INFP crummily broke your heart. That's mean.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  9. #19
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Hey, hey now. A lot of people come on this forum saying the exact thing in glinty-eyed seriousness.

    I feel like most people I come across are agreeable but I realize how I treat them effects how they treat me.

    Wait until you get better at it and if you're having a bad day at work, somebody brings you a cranberry and gin and a sympathetic pat on the back. You will have arrived.

    And that's a true story.
    Reminds me of the time I thought SW was using an exaggeration to make a point (if abortion makes sense, then killing living babies should make sense too, if the mom doesn't want it at that point in her life or the parents don't have enough resources) and I defended him for several pages until I realized he was serious about killing babies.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  10. #20
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    To me it is quite hard to be nice to people. I mean I can be nice but this is not who I am.
    On the other hand I am not rude either (in most cases).
    It is just that Fe simply isn't my thing.



    Also most people tend to become cautious if I am nice towards them since that simply isn't the way how I narurally behave.

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