[ENTP] ENTP at conversation

[fenri]

Hi

I'm an ENTP and I found that I'm pretty good at conversations. I can easily talk on a different themes. But I also found that while I'm talking I absolutely don't pay attention to what kind of person I'm talking to. I'm not trying to understand what person I'm talking to, what he likes, what makes him laugh, what kind of person he is, even what is my opinion about him, I just talk. It looks like I just press the talk button. And as a consequence when I meet that person again I don't have any clues how to talk to him, it all looks like I meet him for the first time again. I think that I'm not interested in unveiling the person personality at all. Well I can talk but It just doesn't look so interesting. ENTPs do you find talking with people interesting because it's interesting for you to understand what kind of people you talking to, or you just like that flexibility and freedom of mind when you talk. Because to me talking with people is like talking with wall, same emotions.

 

[entropie]

who are you ? We met before ?

I often have been greeted heartly on the street by people I have never seen in my life. I have to reduce my medication

 

[paperoceans]

Wow, that's strange.

 

[The_Liquid_Laser]

Hi

I'm an ENTP and I found that I'm pretty good at conversations. I can easily talk on a different themes. But I also found that while I'm talking I absolutely don't pay attention to what kind of person I'm talking to. I'm not trying to understand what person I'm talking to, what he likes, what makes him laugh, what kind of person he is, even what is my opinion about him, I just talk. It looks like I just press the talk button. And as a consequence when I meet that person again I don't have any clues how to talk to him, it all looks like I meet him for the first time again. I think that I'm not interested in unveiling the person personality at all. Well I can talk but It just doesn't look so interesting. ENTPs do you find talking with people interesting because it's interesting for you to understand what kind of people you talking to, or you just like that flexibility and freedom of mind when you talk. Because to me talking with people is like talking with wall, same emotions.

I'm an ENTP, and I'm a pretty good listener. Try talking with people who talk about things you want to learn about. That will teach you to be a better listener.

 

[JustHer]

My sister does that actually (ESTP), but she talks about random mundane crap. She can go on and on about what she did all day and not realize that i've started doing a crossword.

Weiiiird.

 

[entropie]

I'm an ENTP, and I'm a pretty good listener. Try talking with people who talk about things you want to learn about. That will teach you to be a better listener.

good listeners just want to score with girls !

 

[onemoretime]

Don't try to direct the conversation - just ask questions and use what they give you. People will be surprisingly open and deep if you give them the opportunity to be

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

No, I like to know what the other person thinks. What's the point otherwise? I might as well talk to my shoe.

 

[mockingbird]

Hi

I'm an ENTP and I found that I'm pretty good at conversations. I can easily talk on a different themes. But I also found that while I'm talking I absolutely don't pay attention to what kind of person I'm talking to. I'm not trying to understand what person I'm talking to, what he likes, what makes him laugh, what kind of person he is, even what is my opinion about him, I just talk. It looks like I just press the talk button. And as a consequence when I meet that person again I don't have any clues how to talk to him, it all looks like I meet him for the first time again. I think that I'm not interested in unveiling the person personality at all. Well I can talk but It just doesn't look so interesting. ENTPs do you find talking with people interesting because it's interesting for you to understand what kind of people you talking to, or you just like that flexibility and freedom of mind when you talk. Because to me talking with people is like talking with wall, same emotions.

Ah, yes. I've met a couple of overly exhuberant extroverts like yourself. I definately admire people like you who are so good at verbally expressing themselves that it seems effortless for them.

I am the complete opposite of this. It has taken me a long time to learn how to effectively engage someone in conversation. And unfortunately, when I run into someone like yourself, all of those conversational skills that I have tried so very hard to learn absolutely go out the window.

The problem is that while I am very interested in what the verbally adroit extrovert has to say, I am too intimidated to actually try to interrupt their monolouge with any thoughts of my own about what they are saying. This is because I am aware that they have no interest in what I have to say. When they do actually give me a chance to answer, I am too aware of the fact that they are only waiting for me to hurry up and finish what I'm saying so that they may resume talking. As a result, though I may have a very interesting thought to add, all that comes out of my mouth is something like, "Oh, um...yeah, wow!...um, that was totally...yeah, what you said, about...the...Yeah, wow!" So, you see, the extroverts' assumption that I will have nothing interesting to say is like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I am not trying to be critical of you, I am only trying to give you some insight about what is going on inside the minds of those you are talking to. While I'm sure you find it enjoyable merely expressing your thoughts, how much more enjoyment would you get from actually connecting with the people you talk to. I think you will find that the more you attempt to give others a chance to speak, that they will enrich your life as you have enriched theirs. Some of those verbally clumbsy people you run into may be people like me with many interesting things to say but they are just intimidated.

Well, anyway, I hope this is helpful to you. If it is not, then at least I have gotten my feelings off of my chest that I have been wanting to say to overly expressive extroverts for years....and you couldn't even interrupt me! Ha ha!

 

[Tewt]

I generally do not even talk to people, unless I am interested in them in some kind of way. Or I need something from them lol.

 

[Wild horses]

I have a friend who is an ENTP and is good at tailoring her conversation to suit the person she is talking to. She likes to find common ground and so she must be interested in the person she is talking with an picking up clues about them. The technique she uses is rather unique... instead of listening she actually says a variety of things... most of which are shocking and judges a person based on their reactions to them. HAHA! The only time she displays behaviour like what you taling about is if she knows someone quite well and is in rant mode!

 

[mockingbird]

I have a friend who is an ENTP and is good at tailoring her conversation to suit the person she is talking to. She likes to find common ground and so she must be interested in the person she is talking with an picking up clues about them. The technique she uses is rather unique... instead of listening she actually says a variety of things... most of which are shocking and judges a person based on their reactions to them. HAHA! The only time she displays behaviour like what you taling about is if she knows someone quite well and is in rant mode!

That's hilarious! Your friend must be quite entertaining!lol

 

[Wild horses]

Yea she is I love her more than she will ever know... but we can't see eachother much as its a complicated mess when we are together... But still... she makes me smile HAHAHAHA

 

[substitute]

Develop a habit of asking questions. If you're aiming to ask questions, you have to listen to what's said so you can ask about it and then listen to the answers so you can ask more questions. Then you might find that people can be very interesting indeed. I do, anyway

The problem is that while I am very interested in what the verbally adroit extrovert has to say, I am too intimidated to actually try to interrupt their monolouge with any thoughts of my own about what they are saying. This is because I am aware that they have no interest in what I have to say. When they do actually give me a chance to answer, I am too aware of the fact that they are only waiting for me to hurry up and finish what I'm saying so that they may resume talking.

In fact, many extraverts (including ENTP's) say that their main motivation for talking to another person is in fact exactly in the hopes that their self-disclosure will encourage the other person to do likewise; this is certainly true in my case. Remember, we think aloud, so we're not only interested in your input - we rely on it.

That is, those of us who aren't completely self-absorbed. But extraverts certainly don't have the monopoly on self-absorption, so I don't think it's constructive to equate exhuberant extraversion with self-absorption, which is effectively what you're attributing to someone if you're assuming that they just want to talk AT you and aren't interested in your views, albeit inadvertently. Granted, that would seem to be the case with some of these guys here (heheh), but it's not at all the case with a great many other extraverts.

It could simply be that you're not realizing that for someone to whom conversation comes naturally and easily, it can be very, very hard to understand (and certainly not something you'd ever assume) that someone simply isn't able to respond in kind. Therefore if you seem to pause 'too long', they might just assume you have nothing to say, or mistake your bewildered look for your not having understood what was said, and so feel anxious to clarify for you or say something to (misguidedly) put you at ease.

Also, I know that it's taken a long time for me to learn that someone pausing for a long time before speaking isn't necessarily a person who is searching their diplomacy banks for a polite way of telling me I'm talking utter crap or that they think I'm a moron. Because for me, you see, if I agree with someone or relate to them or understand them or have any kind of positive response to what they say, it just tumbles right out. The only reason I'd feel the need to pause that long would be if I was trying to think of a polite way to say something negative about them or what they said. It was my habit for many years, on meeting with the response you describe yourself as having, to go into panic mode, thinking "OMG she thinks I'm stupid, she must do, what did I say that was so bad? omg I can't even think of anything, am I that clueless?" etc. and my Ne would go into hyperdrive producing possible reasons why you could object to what I said, so I'd start feverishly trying to address all those reasons in the hopes you'd stop looking at me like I'm some kind of asshole and FFS just throw me a bone and say you get it and give some indication that you don't think I'm completely mental!

Yes, extraverts can often give the impression of being "better with people" than introverts, but all that often is, especially in the case of the ENTP, is having had more practice at social etiquette and knowing what's expected of them outwardly. It doesn't automatically mean we understand everybody or that we're therefore at an advantage in every conversation.

Just something to think about.

 

[mockingbird]

^
Oh, don't get me wrong. I have no troubles with most extroverts. I have no trouble in speaking to most of them. But I have met people that remind me of the op. They seem not to have any interest in anyone else but themselves. And of course, as you metioned, being self-absorbed has nothing to do with extroversion. Didn't mean to imply that. I should have written "self absorbed" extroverts, not "exuberant" extroverts. That would have been clearer.

You do give me some good insights on extroverts, though.

 

[entropie]

An entp thread ranging only over 2 pages since a lifetime has passed since the thread has started, says it all to me.

It's your non-filthy input that keeps my answering skills protesting

 

[paintmuffin]

Hi

I'm an ENTP and I found that I'm pretty good at conversations. I can easily talk on a different themes. But I also found that while I'm talking I absolutely don't pay attention to what kind of person I'm talking to. I'm not trying to understand what person I'm talking to, what he likes, what makes him laugh, what kind of person he is, even what is my opinion about him, I just talk. It looks like I just press the talk button. And as a consequence when I meet that person again I don't have any clues how to talk to him, it all looks like I meet him for the first time again. I think that I'm not interested in unveiling the person personality at all. Well I can talk but It just doesn't look so interesting. ENTPs do you find talking with people interesting because it's interesting for you to understand what kind of people you talking to, or you just like that flexibility and freedom of mind when you talk. Because to me talking with people is like talking with wall, same emotions.

I usually try to understand people when I talk, and halfheartedly customize my speaking style to who they are, but if I don't think I'm getting my point across I end up trailing off (especially around those EXTREMELY abundant SJs, with their deadpan stares and their tendency to take things literally).
I hardly ever initiate conversations near people who radiate introverted Sensing. In fact... WHOA! I just realized, I sort of subconsciously check EVERYONE I meet for Si before I open up. I guess this started even before I learned about MBTI. They're just.. the kind of people I naturally avoid. What an exciting observation!!!!! (I don't mean to discriminate against SJs. Really. They just DON'T get what I'm saying, EVER, and I look like an idiot when I try to understand what THEY'RE saying.)

Anyway... to get back on topic, I dunno where you're getting this blabbering-problem from, that's definitely not something I do, except sometimes online.

 

[mockingbird]

It's your non-filthy input that keeps my answering skills protesting

That's because I'm hoping to make this thread all about ME!!

 

[entropie]

That's because I'm hoping to make this thread all about ME!!

Doesnt need an NF to know that

 

[fenri]

thanks to all you

I really cannot express the way I feel good, because of finding this forum, it's like i finally found a friend who really understands my concerns. Well all my friends are SPs and SJ and you can imagine what is like for me when I'm trying to give some of my Ne to them, oh I just tired of those unblinking eyes. And of course this silent stare of SPs and SJs is just killing me.

Substitute, thank you so much for reply, it really calmed my concerns.