[INTJ] Female INTJs Opening Up To Men

[poppy]

Ah, yep. My INTJ friend is so deep and caring, but he only shows it with certain people. I felt like we had to get past this wall for us to be friends. I used to friend stalk him relentlessly because he wouldn't just be my friend like a normal person. He would be all cold and aloof, but it just made me try harder. I used to bug the shit out of him. Invite myself to do things with him. But, now we've been friends for like 11 years and he is one of my two best friends in the entire world. He is very wise and he seems to appreciate me in spite of and even because of my craziness.

All people are interesting, once you get past the first couple of masks we all wear.

This is something I've only learned very recently.

 

[Haphazard]

Okay, here's something I'd like to know about both INFJ's and INTJ's. With many of them, I get this feeling that deep deep deep down inside there is this well of sadness. But, INXJ's are so composed and disciplined that they rarely ever display this to the outside world. Am I imagining things?

Yes.

 

[Synarch]

I used to get that question all the time from, oddly enough, an INFJ. I think we just give off those vibes, maybe it's because INXJs tend to be so inexpressive and contemplative. I think I'm actually much happier than most people realize. Of course, everyone has their dark times. And the few sad bits and pieces rarely do see the light of day.

(Extra tip, to anyone who is wondering, don't go rooting around looking for those bits and pieces. We'll let you see em when we're good and ready, and at that point you can rest assured that we love you.)

I'm probably just projecting or some shit. I honestly don't understand INXJ's a lot of the time. But, I keep trying.

 

[Synarch]

All people are interesting, once you get past the first couple of masks we all wear.

Hey, I like INFP's, too. I just don't know any.

 

[Synarch]

Yes.

Haha. I love the INTJ honesty.

 

[poppy]

I honestly don't understand INXJ's a lot of the time. But, I keep trying.

On behalf of INXJs, I thank you for your noble efforts

 

[Haphazard]

Haha. I love the INTJ honesty.

*bows*

 

[Synarch]

*bows*

And the brevity.

 

[joslynk]

Okay, here's something I'd like to know about both INFJ's and INTJ's. With many of them, I get this feeling that deep deep deep down inside there is this well of sadness. But, INXJ's are so composed and disciplined that they rarely ever display this to the outside world. Am I imagining things?

It's true. But I deal with it on my own and NEVER let anyone see that part of me. But I guess an ENTP like yourself noticed.

 

[Synarch]

It's true. But I deal with it on my own and NEVER let anyone see that part of me. But I guess an ENTP like yourself noticed.

I like secrets. Finding them. Making them. Some people don't realize how much you can hide yourself in the open. Part of what is nice with starting to trust someone is being able to crack the door a bit.

 

[Biaxident]

Hey, I like INFP's, too. I just don't know any.

In real life maybe.



I don't act the way I do on here, in real life. Unless what I read of you says I can let go of my public persona. (Cold, not mean, just apparently something that says leave me alone.) Then we go to the possible friend material mask. And if I still don't pick up anything odd, I may let you in to see the real me.

Fortunately children and animals don't notice it. And I can't help but let it go around them. Since they are usually playing games with me, or climbing on me within a minute or two.

 

[joslynk]

Ah, yep. My INTJ friend is so deep and caring, but he only shows it with certain people. I felt like we had to get past this wall for us to be friends.

I agree. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm only capable of caring for a small group of people (family + few very close and dear friends).

 

[Synarch]

I agree. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm only capable of caring for a small group of people (family + few very close and dear friends).

It is always extensity versus intensity.

INTJ / INFJ = intensity.
ENTP = extensity.

 

[SillySapienne]

I like secrets. Finding them. Making them. Some people don't realize how much you can hide yourself in the open. Part of what is nice with starting to trust someone is being able to crack the door a bit.

It is always extensity versus intensity.

INTJ / INFJ = intensity.
ENTP = extensity.

I have to disagree.

INJs and ENPs are both incredibly intense, ours radiates, theirs simmers.

 

[Synarch]

I have to disagree.

INJs and ENPs are both incredibly intense, ours radiates, theirs simmers.

I like the radiation / simmer metaphor. It's really the same thing, though, isn't it? The application of energies. One burns big and outwardly like the Sun the other inwardly like the molten core of a dead world.

 

[Economica]

Hm just wondering how female INTJs or introverted intuitives were able to get passed their introversion and allow themselves to be in a relationship? I have a thing for an ENTP but every time he gets close I pull back, instinctively, and it drives me crazy and confuses him. I know its just dumb to keep doing that but I can't help it. Advice anyone?

INTJs and others welcome to respond.

Relevant threads:

ENTP male dating an INTJ female
Does this INTJ mean business? (genders switched around, but insightful about the INTJ-ENTP dynamic nevertheless)