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  1. #21
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Admittedly I haven't tried the Skype + webcam combination yet.
    That worked well for me -- simple, pleasant.

  2. #22
    Senior Member TenebrousReflection's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kristin View Post
    I think it comes down to a T issue more than specifically an INTP issue. In my experience, Fs like to have long conversations on the phone, while Ts use the phone for very brief, specific purposes. When my ENFP sister or ESFP SO calls me, I find myself thinking, "What is the purpose of this call? Is there something specific they called to tell me?" My attention wanders and my patience dwindles the longer I'm on the phone. Don't get me wrong - I love long discussions - it's just that I would much rather do them in person. This also applies to every T in my life I can think of.

    A suggestion: You might try text messaging. Most Ts I know, including myself, will respond much more quickly to a brief text. If you save the long conversations for when you see them in person you'll get much more out of them.

    I do have a lot of T qualities and this may be one of them, but I do consider myself mostly INF, and I dislike most phone conversations. For me tho, its not to do with the phone being the issue but the conversation topics being the issue. I simply find the things most people want to talk about on the phone to be either boring or quickly resolved. The other issue with the phone, is that I feel like its a leash preventing me from doing much of anythgin else while I'm talking on it (I simply find it difficult to relax when I'm speaking on the phone (I'm still one of those folks in the technology dark ages with no cell phone - I've cosnidered gettign one, but have a hard time justifying the costs vs how little I'd use it and the pre-paid plans have their own drawbacks.)). When I talk to someone, I want it to either be about a shared interest that has a lot of room for speculation or some other abstract idea that has a lot of good branching room for interesting tangents and my prefered conversation environment is anywhere that I can lean back and relax in a comfortable chair/couch and sip on some coffee or tea while I chat (genealy either somoenes living room or a less crowded coffee shop). In general I prefer conversations in person followed by e-mail or message board conversations, then phone and in last place is Instant Messaging. To me, the only redeemign quality of a phone conversation is getting to hear someones voice and if its someone thats not long-distance thats not a big deal, and for long distance, a mix of phone/e-mail maybe somethign like 20%/80% is prefered.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TenebrousReflection View Post
    I do have a lot of T qualities and this may be one of them, but I do consider myself mostly INF, and I dislike most phone conversations. For me tho, its not to do with the phone being the issue but the conversation topics being the issue. I simply find the things most people want to talk about on the phone to be either boring or quickly resolved. The other issue with the phone, is that I feel like its a leash preventing me from doing much of anythgin else while I'm talking on it (I simply find it difficult to relax when I'm speaking on the phone (I'm still one of those folks in the technology dark ages with no cell phone - I've cosnidered gettign one, but have a hard time justifying the costs vs how little I'd use it and the pre-paid plans have their own drawbacks.)). When I talk to someone, I want it to either be about a shared interest that has a lot of room for speculation or some other abstract idea that has a lot of good branching room for interesting tangents and my prefered conversation environment is anywhere that I can lean back and relax in a comfortable chair/couch and sip on some coffee or tea while I chat (genealy either somoenes living room or a less crowded coffee shop). In general I prefer conversations in person followed by e-mail or message board conversations, then phone and in last place is Instant Messaging. To me, the only redeemign quality of a phone conversation is getting to hear someones voice and if its someone thats not long-distance thats not a big deal, and for long distance, a mix of phone/e-mail maybe somethign like 20%/80% is prefered.
    That's interesting. When I get on the phone, I don't want to be doing anything but sitting there on my brown chair and talking. I talk on the phone like I would talking to someone in person. I want the other person on the other end to know that they have my undivided attention.

    My sister (ISFJ, I think) does her housework while she is on the phone, so she gets distracted (which is distracting to me).
    -Sandy
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  4. #24
    Senior Member TenebrousReflection's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post
    That's interesting. When I get on the phone, I don't want to be doing anything but sitting there on my brown chair and talking. I talk on the phone like I would talking to someone in person. I want the other person on the other end to know that they have my undivided attention.

    My sister (ISFJ, I think) does her housework while she is on the phone, so she gets distracted (which is distracting to me).
    Hmmm, this brings up something that didn't cross my mind initially. Most phone conversations tend to interrupt whatever I was doing at the moment, so even if I want to talk to the person, I was doing something else before they called and the phone call prevents me from continuing it. If the interruption was something I can put on hold like reading a book, or watching tv and the person is someone I want to talk to that I expect to have a long conversation with, I will find a comfortable spot to to relax and talk, but unless I was expecting the call, its difficult to transition from interruption to relaxed state of mind. Most calls I get are friends wanting to talk about something specific and and are usually short (5-10 min) and since I expect the calls to be quick I stop what I'm doing to talk but no matter the length of the call, it diverts my full attention to it and I often forget where my thoughts were before the phone rang so my dislike of the phone comes both from its limitations and the fact that its nearly always an interruption (sometimes a pleasant interruption, but still an interruption).

  5. #25
    Senior Member Cerpin_Taxt's Avatar
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    I abhor talking on the phone, and I'm not a big fan of email either. If I feel that insatiable urge to communicate -- once a month or so -- with someone about anything deeper then day to day banalities, then I need to see that person face to face.
    One by one, over the months, the other bulbs burn out, and are gone. The first few of these hit Byron hard. He's still a new arrival, still hasn't accepted his immortality. But on through the burning hours he starts to learn about the transience of others: learns that loving them while they're here becomes easier, and also more intenseóto love as if each design-hour will be the last.

    Thomas Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow

    I can't go on, I'll go on.

    Samuel Beckett - The Unnamable

  6. #26
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Not talking on the phone is not something that's divided by T and F. If you knew an ESTP you'd know this. By god can they go on!!!

    Myself I dislike the phone, skype and all other forms of instant interaction where the person is not in front of you. The reason for this is I abhor the whole "you must pay attention to me" thing. I don't wish to sit sedantry for half an hour whilst you retell your entire life story up until this point. I have no interest in what happened when it rained and how wet you got. I have things I want to be doing and you are now keeping me from them by your prattling. Worse still if I drift off and stop paying attention not only do you notice but you have the audacity to chastise me for it!! If you weren't so boring then I'd not have fallen into a coma whilst you spoke.

    I have found a solution to this problem though. Mobile phones with headsets. Natter all you like and I'll do some menial task to keep my brain ticking over whilst leaving me receptive to normal drivel.

    Strangely people seem less likely to give you filler in person. I guess that's why the phone is such a horrible device.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  7. #27
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    What I don't understand is why everyone else is so comfortable face-to-face. I mean, I feel a lot safer on the phone, and kind of vulnerable in a face-to-face conversation. I'm constantly worrying about how I look, or what I'm doing with my hands, whether my facial expressions are appropriate, etc. So I feel better on either the Internet or the phone.

    I usually come across well enough face-to-face, but I tend to be drained faster by it, because I feel like I have to focus on controlling more nuances of what I'm doing to avoid giving a bad impression.

    I wonder if part of this is that it's harder for INTP's to express their emotions verbally, and tend to think visually, or in a right-brained way?

  8. #28
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    What I don't understand is why everyone else is so comfortable face-to-face. I mean, I feel a lot safer on the phone, and kind of vulnerable in a face-to-face conversation. I'm constantly worrying about how I look, or what I'm doing with my hands, whether my facial expressions are appropriate, etc. So I feel better on either the Internet or the phone.

    I usually come across well enough face-to-face, but I tend to be drained faster by it, because I feel like I have to focus on controlling more nuances of what I'm doing to avoid giving a bad impression.

    I wonder if part of this is that it's harder for INTP's to express their emotions verbally, and tend to think visually, or in a right-brained way?
    It's usually better for me face to face. For one thing if I'm talking face to face with someone then usually that person has interested me enough for me to be around them, so I'm interested fro the get go. Also, should their conversation fail to harness my interest, I can always study them whilst they talk, noting their mannerisms and studying them from a psychological and detached point of view.

    Face to face conversations are actually what started me smoking. It gives me something to occupy some part of my mind whilst I chat. With cigarettes and drinks I can chat for hours. I don't like large groups though. One on one is my favourite. Guess that's the introvert bit shining through
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  9. #29
    Fight For Freedom FFF's Avatar
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    I only like talking to two people on the phone unless I'm dealing with something practical. The worst thing someone can do in an attempt to befriend me is to give me their number. Most of the time I won't ever call unless we agree I should call at a certain time or if I have a good, practical reason to call.

    I agree with your son and boyfriend, though. I'd really rather talk in person.

  10. #30
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I really rather talk in person, but I will talk on the phone. If you call just to chat I'll probably not want to, but if you call to go do something I'll welcome the call. Of course the only people who call me are my best friends and my mom, I think I have maybe 12 people in my phone and only 3 of those I talk to on a regular basis. Of course people always manage to call when I'm doing something else, it's never when I'm bored. When I call them they're busy, so I'll often talk to them and drop what I'm doing. I tend to give people my whole attention when talking to them, I know they can't see me, but I know. If I can pass the phone to someone I will, I hate talking on the phone especially if I don't know you that well.

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