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  1. #61
    Magical Firelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mendacity View Post
    Often it seems like the type of men who are most drawn to me are the ones who are kind of weak-willed and who want to be controlled by their partner. This is a turn off for me, not only because it's a trait I dislike in both genders and in all people, but because I don't want to be bothered with controlling someone else. I don't worry that I have a tendency to be controlling. If I say "We will do this" and that doesn't work for someone, they need to stand up and say so. I can't be constantly worrying about what someone else is doing and where they are and blah blah blah blah. I've got better things to do and I need more space than that. I need someone who's independent because I am too.
    Eh, I have that problem, too. Submission can be kinky in the bedroom, but as a normal mode of living? Ugh.

  2. #62
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Not necessary =/= not welcome. Ask her where exactly she stands
    Last I heard she's not looking anyway; which is too bad since some of us can give pleasure and pull our own weight.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #63
    Senior Member Algora J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ListNinja View Post
    Hi everyone,

    I am new to the forum and am trying to find out more information about female NTs and what they need both in terms of initial attraction and for a relationship to work long term.

    I have been discussing with a couple female NT friends and this is what we have come up with so far:

    (1) The man has to be as smart as the female NT and capable of holding his own in intellectual debates
    (2) The man can not be a pushover emotionally - some female NTs have a tendency to exploit weakness in their partners and can become controlling (especially NTJs). Female NTs will not respect a man who will allow them to do this.
    (3) NTs seem to be attracted to men with a high degree of talent, sense of adventure, and/or spontaneity... but we are not sure if these relationships will work long term.

    Thoughts?
    I've dated very extroverted-feeler type men, and most of them I find myself unfulfilled after awhile. I don't really want a guy who is more of a social butterfly than I am and certainly not a guy who is controlling and manipulative.

    Personally, I think men who had the following professions always attracted me:

    novelist
    composer
    university professor

    Basically, I fall in love with men first through words, so being able to communicate verbally is quite important to me. I think as an NT female, I constantly need my mind to be stimulated, and when my mind is neglected, I fall into a state of despair and engage in all sorts of excess.

    In relationships, unlike most other personality types, I prefer a great deal of stability. In that, the man I am seeing is reliable, grounded, stable and dependable. I dislike men who are rude, obnoxious, boisterous and controlling.

    In a room full of people, I will always gravitate towards the quiet, mysterious, aloof man in the group. I think it's due to the fact that I really do not prefer extroverted men, unless they possess extroverted thinking (Te). My scale of extroversion is around 60, so that when in quiet reflection, a man who can nurture or bring out that pensive quality in myself is what I look for.

    In this day and age, it's too easy to become complacent and conformist, a man who questions the world around him and sparks debate is what stimulates my Te. Usually these types of men tend to be university professors- typically in philosophy and mathematics.

    I also think that being down-to-earth is an important quality. Someone who is sort of a genius, but very modest and quiet about his achievements. I detest men who brag and strut their peacock feathers.

    Looking through my past behaviour, I always seem to vacillate between two groups of men:
    1. quiet intellectual
    2. blue-collar labourer

    I find that I am attracted to the latter type because they tend to be hard-working and devoted to their families, and do not mind that I am aggressive, ambitious, opinionated and intelligent.

    In the end though, I think it really comes down to asking oneself questions about the nature of the relationship rather than list specific qualities.

    For example: Does this person love me unconditionally?
    Do I trust this person?
    Do I respect this person?
    Does this person inspire me to be better?

  4. #64
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Algora J View Post
    Personally, I think men who had the following professions always attracted me:

    novelist
    composer
    university professor
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  5. #65
    Senior Member Simplexity's Avatar
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    You know I actually kind of had a little crush on my English comp professor. She was young and new too, I should have seen how far I could've joked with her.

    Damn it.

    It's times like these I wish I were an extrovert
    My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.

  6. #66
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    Sanity. Levelheadedness. Intelligence. A bit o' Class. A sense of humor. And no stick up the rear.
    For starters.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    I'm not demanding: not-too-bright / good-in-bed works for me.

    Flesh-lite - sounds about right.
    Silly woman, the fleshlight is for men!

  8. #68
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    She intended to give it quite the tonguing.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  9. #69
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    She intended to give it quite the tonguing.
    I hope that wouldn't short-circuit it. The response could be electrifying.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #70
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Schwwing!
    Death by lesbo sextoy . . . sounds about right.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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