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  1. #1
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Default Younger INTPs: Prone to sulking?

    ...or, you know, the older folks too. If you still do it.

    The thought came to me just this morning. In relationships (platonic or romantic) looking back I find that when I have felt wronged or attacked by the other person, I instinctively withdraw into myself and cut all means of contact with them during this time. In some ways I feel that in doing so, I'm "hurting" them so that they feel as dismayed as they have made me. But mostly it's to retreat and have the time and space to ruminate.

    Example: If I've had a heated argument with my mother, out of spite I'll ignore her phone calls, or quickly hang up. This will ensue for about a day (or shorter, depending on how I feel).

    Another example: When I was PMSing, there as one evening where my partner didn't have the means to contact me (I won't bore you with the details). I came to the irrational assumption that their actions were deliberate, and that they could contact me but didn't want to. After a while of dwelling on this, I remembered days when they couldn't talk to me for long, and I justified that as finding me dull and leaving early, rather than the reasons they gave. So, rather than reply to their apologetic email, I ignored it and refused to contact them for a number of days.


    I can't remember any other poignant examples, but when I'm offended my natural response is to sulk. Are younger INTPs prone to this? If you're an older INTP, have you had a number of sulky episodes?

  2. #2
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    Yes, AKA passive-aggression.

  3. #3
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Yeah, I kinda sulk.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  4. #4
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Seeing as I've been accused of passive-aggressiveness today, I'll comment.

    As an intro to this post, I'll say that this week has easily been the most stressful week of '09 for me. I haven't exactly been showing the best colors this week. Skipping ahead to the point, I wasn't content with something a friend of mine was doing and planned on continuing to do. For the next hour or so, we go through a few cycles of me not responding to her and me trying to softy persuade her to change her mind.

    Throughout the whole affair, I'm balancing two main trains of thought in my head that each lead to their own course of action. The first train is the one that would prefer to take the acceptance route. "Things happen, things adjust, and this person is still a friend regardless of one issue. There is no need nor rational reason to hold anything against this person. Everything will work out much more smoothly if I let this pass as it normally would." represents what that side was thinking. The other side went more along the lines of "I've had enough of this crap. This issue needs to be dealt with and letting the other person have their way without any of my ideas influencing things is a sign of weakness. She needs to get the idea that she is not in charge of things and this is a two-way street. Until she will listen to this she will not be listened to herself."

    </rant>

    In contrast to the OP, I wouldn't classify my behavior as an attempt to retreat.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    I do tend to do this, but not nearly to the extent the OP describes.

  6. #6
    (☞゚∀゚)☞ The Decline's Avatar
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    My family claims I sulked occasionally. If you ask me though, I say they're overdramatizing. I was probably just attempting withdraw/seclusion tactics following a stressful, social & emotional event.
    "Stop it, you fuck. Give him some butter."
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  7. #7
    Your time is gonna come. Oom's Avatar
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    I don't think I sulk. I tend to try and ignore things instead. It doesn't end up working.

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Go here: INTPCentral.
    Second choice: INTPforum.



    ....

    I used to sulk, AKA Passive-Aggression.
    Nowadays (seriously!)... I just kick ass.

    The problem was feeling like I wasn't in control and people were making me do things I didn't want to do but I didn't want to engage or didn't know how to engage emotionally enough to work through it and be potent and get a better outcome. (Some of it involves in setting proper boundaries in relationships too, something INTPs suck at -- their preferred method is just lock out everyone if possible... but at some point, you can't reasonably do that anymore and haven't yet developed coping skills.) So I'd sulk and feel like a victim.

    Nowadays, I generally don't sulk.
    I know I'm capable of investing and getting a better result.
    it just takes some time to develop the experience and confidence.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    I don't think I do, but answering this question would require self-awareness. Something I'm not willing to commit to.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  10. #10
    Senior Member MiasmaResonance's Avatar
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    Boo..
    "A spill at the plant increased the phosphates in the lake and produced a scum of algae so thick that the swamp smell filled the air, infiltrating the genteel mansions. Debutantes cried over the misfortune of coming out in a season everyone would remember for its bad smell."

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