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Thread: social INTJ

  1. #1
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    Default social INTJ

    I'm an INTJ and for the past year/year and a half I have been actively trying to be more sociable. When I found out I was an INTJ (and subsequently researched what the hell that meant) I realized I didn't want to be the stereotypical misunderstood&angry/don't-approach-me-you-dumbass INTJ.

    So. Does anyone know of any (relatively) social INTJ out there? To you fellow INTJs out there, how do you balance being sociable & still being authentic (being yourself)?

    INTJs and non-intjs, feel free to respond.

  2. #2
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Yeah, learning about being an INTJ is a lot of what originally got me working on my social skills too. In regards to the last question, I think it's easier to be authentic whenever you are not afraid of putting yourself out there.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    There are plenty on this forum, but one word of wisdom: dont copy, research your own style or you wont be happy in the long run.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    *raises hand*

    I'm fairly social, especially now that I'm at college. The thing is, I require a lot of alone time, but when I'm with people and have spare energy, I find it pretty easy to engage and interact (though from what I've heard, people I feel neutrally about still generally think I hate them...so it's a work in progress).

    I've found though, that I sometimes interact with people in a way that isn't "me", but probably more akin to an ESFP (makes sense, the whole ESFP shadow thing), which I tend to regret. I think it's best to just put yourself out there as whatever you are, while trying to make people feel comfortable. There are a lot of simple things you can do to minimize the surly/arrogant vibes, while still retaining the good qualities of INTJ-ness.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  5. #5
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    Hey Poppy - can you elaborate further?

    When I'm in a decent mood, I'm fairly friendly and slowly learning to relax in large social events. However, when I'm not in a good mood I just CANNOT make the effort to be friendly. It's during those moments that I feel like I'm acting sociable, and not being sociable.

    Interestingly enough, I'm slowly craving more and more socializing.

  6. #6
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joslynk View Post
    Hey Poppy - can you elaborate further?
    Sho thang. There are a lot of little social rituals, they might seem common sense but they're easy to forget, and putting some extra energy into them usually gets positive results. Things like smiling and shaking someone's hand when you meet them, using their name/addressing them directly, once you know people a bit better highlighting things you have in common (using "we" phrases). And try to get rid of the efficiency mindset, be willing to entertain ideas and conversations that aren't entirely logical. INTJs have a pretty quirky sense of humor, so you can use that to your advantage (without ridiculing people who are within earshot ). But yeah, friendly and relaxed is good, and usually comes with remembering to just be yourself.

    It's just important to remember that it's ok to be your slightly chilly, quirky self. Not everyone will be nuts about you, but a lot of people will respect you and grow fond of you over time anyway.

    When I'm in a decent mood, I'm fairly friendly and slowly learning to relax in large social events. However, when I'm not in a good mood I just CANNOT make the effort to be friendly. It's during those moments that I feel like I'm acting sociable, and not being sociable.
    I find there's not much to be done for that. If you're in a bad mood, it's best not to force yourself to interact (if you have other options).
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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    i worked with this brilliant dude...we had a blast at work and during lunch time...on and off work....i thought that he, for the most part, was a mature ENTP who had gotten the P and Ne under control

    he did the test and scored INTJ. i made him read the description and it resonated with him

  8. #8
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, and if you can, get yourself an ENTP sidekick

    (Re: the above )
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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    are you asking me out?

    only if you bring extra candy

  10. #10
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thisGuy View Post
    are you asking me out?

    only if you bring extra candy
    Sure, I have some candy in my van. It's just around the corner.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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