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Thread: Hi

  1. #1
    Member Yeonhee's Avatar
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    Default Hi

    Hello.

    I'm dating an ENTP (supposedly.) man (supposedly.) currently. I'll be frank, I don't want to waste my time, so I'm trying to figure out how he works. Perhaps personality types can somewhat alleviate my mind.

    My intuition and empirical observations tell me many things about this particular ENTP. Firstly, he invests much time to our relationship, but the contrasting light is that he's not very expressive in his pursuit, either. He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude, but that doesn't bother me at all.

    On the other hand, he's also very secretive. I'm secretive, and so we're both indirectly sharing secrets. I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not. He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......

    He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

    One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).

    PS: The test he took, he got ENTP, but the other possible result was ESTP. Does anyone have thorough knowlege of the basic distinction between ESTP/ENTP? Thank you...

  2. #2
    Senior Member Happyman's Avatar
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    Crap! I got caught.
    I've read 'Hi!' and just wanted to welcome you here! And now all these stuff...

    He doesn't sound very ENTP to me. They usually have quite 'lively' faces. I'd say that same goes for (most of) ESTPs

    He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude.
    That sounds pretty ENTPish on the other hand.

    I would say these types are quite different. ESTP is an 'action man', ENTP on the other hand is rather into witty conversations and discussing problems.
    Will you want him only if he's ESTP/ENTP?
    "Act as though it was impossible to fail."
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  3. #3
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Parts of the description sound right ...
    He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude
    otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.
    ... but


    Not expressive? Not interested in your thoughts? Does not compute. I wouldn't be like this unless I disliked the person and was merely tolerating their company.

  4. #4
    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
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    ENTPs are masters at manipulating people.

  5. #5
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kathara View Post
    ENTPs are masters at manipulating people.
    I'm not that great at manipulating people unless it's in a professional context (like professors or employers). Even then, I've really only manipulated people in school/work to either get a better grade (that I deserve) or to beast a job interview.

    Sure if I wanted to I could to some degree manipulate most people I know to get certain things, but I think that mostly anyone could do that if they wanted to, not ENTPs specifically. You just need to notice how people respond to certain things, or what drives them.
    The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:

    P(have big assignment due) = 0.6
    P(posting on TypoC) = 0.2
    P(having big assignment due | posting on TypoC) = 0.7

    P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......


    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  6. #6
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    meh, he's probably 'testing' you. push his buttons back.

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.."
    -Oscar Wilde



  7. #7
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yeonhee View Post
    Hello.

    I'm dating an ENTP (supposedly.) man (supposedly.) currently. I'll be frank, I don't want to waste my time, so I'm trying to figure out how he works. Perhaps personality types can somewhat alleviate my mind.

    My intuition and empirical observations tell me many things about this particular ENTP. Firstly, he invests much time to our relationship, but the contrasting light is that he's not very expressive in his pursuit, either. He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude, but that doesn't bother me at all.

    On the other hand, he's also very secretive. I'm secretive, and so we're both indirectly sharing secrets. I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not. He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......

    He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

    One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).

    PS: The test he took, he got ENTP, but the other possible result was ESTP. Does anyone have thorough knowlege of the basic distinction between ESTP/ENTP? Thank you...
    In some aspects he sounds a bit like me, it's a bit hard to explain what it is exactly, I'll give it a try. When I'm in a good or bad mood. Or sometimes even feeling a particular emotion, I often quickly become consciously aware of what I'm feeling. Combined with the fact that I usually think before I talk, this results in that I hardly ever speak emotionally. Me literally telling you I'm angry or happy is often the biggest or only clue you'll get about my feelings.

    Also, about the disinterest, do you feel this happens a lot? Could you give some examples? It could be that he just doesn't care about the subjects you think about. I didn't pick up an interest in pop music when I met my girlfriend, and I'm not bothering her with politics, there's plenty of subjects we both enjoy.

    As a direct ansher to your question. Yes ENTP's can be manipulative, but so can every other type, and by no means all ENTP's are.

    P.S. Merely judging from your post the guy sounds more like an introvert then an extrovert.

  8. #8
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    This guys sounds like the male me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yeonhee View Post
    Firstly, he invests much time to our relationship, but the contrasting light is that he's not very expressive in his pursuit, either.
    To me, if I've already expressed interest, what else should I be doing to pursue you? Not quite sure what you are requiring that he's not providing...


    I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not.
    Everybody manipulates.

    He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......
    More details please... I'm sure if he didn't like you, he wouldn't waste his time. We are not known for our ability to pay attention.

    He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.
    No offense to you, but maybe you're just boring or long-winded. Sometimes I start out interested but the sheer volume of words used turns me off. I love to delve deep into subjects, but succinctly. In other words, get to the point.

    And who *wouldn't* rather do something fun??

    One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).
    Not sure what being manipulative has to do with any of this, but I rarely smile when something is funny in the moment. Most times, I am in absorption mode (Ne, I guess?). It's not until later, upon reflection (Ti?), that I actually laugh or get upset or whatever. In other words, most of my physical responses happen in retrospect. He's probably just busy studying your every move.

  9. #9
    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cenomite View Post
    I'm not that great at manipulating people unless it's in a professional context (like professors or employers). Even then, I've really only manipulated people in school/work to either get a better grade (that I deserve) or to beast a job interview.

    Sure if I wanted to I could to some degree manipulate most people I know to get certain things, but I think that mostly anyone could do that if they wanted to, not ENTPs specifically. You just need to notice how people respond to certain things, or what drives them.
    I was not speaking so much about a conscious manipulation, as much as the action of charming people into doing it your way.

  10. #10
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Default

    On the other hand, he's also very secretive. I'm secretive, and so we're both indirectly sharing secrets. I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not. He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......
    Everyone manipulates regardless of MBTI type. Can you please construct a list citing the behaviors that you find "manipulating"? Additionally, I do not understand why you think his inability to express his emotions contradicts his feelings for you. If an ENTP tells you that he loves you, then he means it.

    He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.
    Maybe he just doesn't find such topics interesting? When I find a topic unexciting, I tend to be unresponsive or I quickly change the subject. I call it: distraction or temporary coma. Furthermore, what is wrong with wanting to do something that is fun or entertaining? I fail to see the problem here.

    One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).
    Gee golly, are you sure you are not an INFJ?
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

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