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[MBTI General] Hi

Yeonhee

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
Hello.

I'm dating an ENTP (supposedly.) man (supposedly.) currently. I'll be frank, I don't want to waste my time, so I'm trying to figure out how he works. Perhaps personality types can somewhat alleviate my mind.

My intuition and empirical observations tell me many things about this particular ENTP. Firstly, he invests much time to our relationship, but the contrasting light is that he's not very expressive in his pursuit, either. He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude, but that doesn't bother me at all.

On the other hand, he's also very secretive. I'm secretive, and so we're both indirectly sharing secrets. I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not. He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......

He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).

PS: The test he took, he got ENTP, but the other possible result was ESTP. Does anyone have thorough knowlege of the basic distinction between ESTP/ENTP? Thank you...
 

Happyman

New member
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
261
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Crap! I got caught.
I've read 'Hi!' and just wanted to welcome you here! And now all these stuff... ;)

He doesn't sound very ENTP to me. They usually have quite 'lively' faces. I'd say that same goes for (most of) ESTPs

He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude.

That sounds pretty ENTPish on the other hand.

I would say these types are quite different. ESTP is an 'action man', ENTP on the other hand is rather into witty conversations and discussing problems.
Will you want him only if he's ESTP/ENTP? ;)
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2008
Messages
1,458
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
Parts of the description sound right ...
He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude

otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

... but


Not expressive? Not interested in your thoughts? :shock: Does not compute. I wouldn't be like this unless I disliked the person and was merely tolerating their company.
 

kathara

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
167
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
ENTPs are masters at manipulating people.
 

Cenomite

Systematic chaos
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
623
MBTI Type
ENTP
ENTPs are masters at manipulating people.

I'm not that great at manipulating people unless it's in a professional context (like professors or employers). Even then, I've really only manipulated people in school/work to either get a better grade (that I deserve) or to beast a job interview.

Sure if I wanted to I could to some degree manipulate most people I know to get certain things, but I think that mostly anyone could do that if they wanted to, not ENTPs specifically. You just need to notice how people respond to certain things, or what drives them.
 

phthalocyanine

#005645
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
meh, he's probably 'testing' you. push his buttons back.
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
Hello.

I'm dating an ENTP (supposedly.) man (supposedly.) currently. I'll be frank, I don't want to waste my time, so I'm trying to figure out how he works. Perhaps personality types can somewhat alleviate my mind.

My intuition and empirical observations tell me many things about this particular ENTP. Firstly, he invests much time to our relationship, but the contrasting light is that he's not very expressive in his pursuit, either. He's quite gregarious, silly, witty, intelligent, and can be downright crude, but that doesn't bother me at all.

On the other hand, he's also very secretive. I'm secretive, and so we're both indirectly sharing secrets. I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not. He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......

He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).

PS: The test he took, he got ENTP, but the other possible result was ESTP. Does anyone have thorough knowlege of the basic distinction between ESTP/ENTP? Thank you...

In some aspects he sounds a bit like me, it's a bit hard to explain what it is exactly, I'll give it a try. When I'm in a good or bad mood. Or sometimes even feeling a particular emotion, I often quickly become consciously aware of what I'm feeling. Combined with the fact that I usually think before I talk, this results in that I hardly ever speak emotionally. Me literally telling you I'm angry or happy is often the biggest or only clue you'll get about my feelings.

Also, about the disinterest, do you feel this happens a lot? Could you give some examples? It could be that he just doesn't care about the subjects you think about. I didn't pick up an interest in pop music when I met my girlfriend, and I'm not bothering her with politics, there's plenty of subjects we both enjoy.

As a direct ansher to your question. Yes ENTP's can be manipulative, but so can every other type, and by no means all ENTP's are.

P.S. Merely judging from your post the guy sounds more like an introvert then an extrovert.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
This guys sounds like the male me.

Firstly, he invests much time to our relationship, but the contrasting light is that he's not very expressive in his pursuit, either.

To me, if I've already expressed interest, what else should I be doing to pursue you? Not quite sure what you are requiring that he's not providing...


I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not.

Everybody manipulates.

He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......

More details please... I'm sure if he didn't like you, he wouldn't waste his time. We are not known for our ability to pay attention.

He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

No offense to you, but maybe you're just boring or long-winded. Sometimes I start out interested but the sheer volume of words used turns me off. I love to delve deep into subjects, but succinctly. In other words, get to the point.

And who *wouldn't* rather do something fun??

One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).

Not sure what being manipulative has to do with any of this, but I rarely smile when something is funny in the moment. Most times, I am in absorption mode (Ne, I guess?). It's not until later, upon reflection (Ti?), that I actually laugh or get upset or whatever. In other words, most of my physical responses happen in retrospect. He's probably just busy studying your every move.
 

kathara

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
167
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I'm not that great at manipulating people unless it's in a professional context (like professors or employers). Even then, I've really only manipulated people in school/work to either get a better grade (that I deserve) or to beast a job interview.

Sure if I wanted to I could to some degree manipulate most people I know to get certain things, but I think that mostly anyone could do that if they wanted to, not ENTPs specifically. You just need to notice how people respond to certain things, or what drives them.

I was not speaking so much about a conscious manipulation, as much as the action of charming people into doing it your way.
 

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
On the other hand, he's also very secretive. I'm secretive, and so we're both indirectly sharing secrets. I'm a no nonsense type of woman, so I'm wondering if ENTP's typically manipulate -- intentionally or not. He tells me he likes to be around me, that he finds me "comfortable", and that sharing the same bed with one another has never been easy for him... till now. The ENTP tells me he loves me. But his blatant lack of mental/emotional/physical stimulation bewilders me. Internally, I see this as a 'contradiction'......

Everyone manipulates regardless of MBTI type. Can you please construct a list citing the behaviors that you find "manipulating"? Additionally, I do not understand why you think his inability to express his emotions contradicts his feelings for you. If an ENTP tells you that he loves you, then he means it.

He also seems disinterested in my thoughts, which I find personally offensive. Now, I would think there's a definite distinction between disinterest and character. He may be interested, but it's not within his character to delve deeper into the subject. I like to ponder and search for clarity in ideas, etc, but it may not be the same for him. Actually, it seems he's selective in what exactly he wants to commit to, in conversation, otherwise he'd rather watch something funny, do something fun and entertaining.

Maybe he just doesn't find such topics interesting? When I find a topic unexciting, I tend to be unresponsive or I quickly change the subject. I call it: distraction or temporary coma. Furthermore, what is wrong with wanting to do something that is fun or entertaining? I fail to see the problem here.

One peculiar thing about him is that he rarely, if ever, smiles for the sake of smiling. I can't tell if he's happy. For example, he's eating, he tells me he's happy, but his face is monotone, dead. He keeps a lot of things internal, based on my observations. I may have this habit, too. However, it still doesn't detract from my question (are ENTP's manipulative).

Gee golly, are you sure you are not an INFJ?
 

Yeonhee

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
In some aspects he sounds a bit like me, it's a bit hard to explain what it is exactly, I'll give it a try. When I'm in a good or bad mood. Or sometimes even feeling a particular emotion, I often quickly become consciously aware of what I'm feeling. Combined with the fact that I usually think before I talk, this results in that I hardly ever speak emotionally. Me literally telling you I'm angry or happy is often the biggest or only clue you'll get about my feelings.

Also, about the disinterest, do you feel this happens a lot? Could you give some examples? It could be that he just doesn't care about the subjects you think about. I didn't pick up an interest in pop music when I met my girlfriend, and I'm not bothering her with politics, there's plenty of subjects we both enjoy.

As a direct ansher to your question. Yes ENTP's can be manipulative, but so can every other type, and by no means all ENTP's are.

P.S. Merely judging from your post the guy sounds more like an introvert then an extrovert.

Ah, I see. What I get from this, and deviating to a slightly different persective, is that what is known does not need to be said. It is known to the individual, so why express it? Kind of thing. It might be that way for him. Well, that's fine and all, but not exactly progressive for a relationship. My forte isn't exactly intuiting every emotion people feel, it must be made known to me somehow or I just won't get it sometimes. I spoke of this to him, and he told me he just never had to do it with anyone, so it's new for him.

Not a lot, a lot, but I guess the problem (for me) is not that he doesn't listen, but that he doesn't really add anything to it. Nothing can be really done about that, unfortunately.

Yeah, I suspect some would think he's an introvert. To be precise, he did take another MBTI test before and got INFP, and then he took this one 'improved' MBTI test and got ENTP. Puzzling.
 

Yeonhee

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
Everyone manipulates regardless of MBTI type. Can you please construct a list citing the behaviors that you find "manipulating"? Additionally, I do not understand why you think his inability to express his emotions contradicts his feelings for you. If an ENTP tells you that he loves you, then he means it.



Maybe he just doesn't find such topics interesting? When I find a topic unexciting, I tend to be unresponsive or I quickly change the subject. I call it: distraction or temporary coma. Furthermore, what is wrong with wanting to do something that is fun or entertaining? I fail to see the problem here.



Gee golly, are you sure you are not an INFJ?

(1) I would like to know how you express your affections? Or if you have any.

(2) There's nothing inherently wrong about it.

(3) Dunno.
 

Yeonhee

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
Not sure what being manipulative has to do with any of this, but I rarely smile when something is funny in the moment. Most times, I am in absorption mode (Ne, I guess?). It's not until later, upon reflection (Ti?), that I actually laugh or get upset or whatever. In other words, most of my physical responses happen in retrospect. He's probably just busy studying your every move.

Interesting. He doesn't seem to be this way pertaining to amusing things, he's quite impulsive and free in that area. Anything 'carefree' is expressed freely, but anything 'serious' is kept hidden. You guys are similar in this, I guess.
 

Yeonhee

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
Gee golly, are you sure you are not an INFJ?

Thinking on it more... maybe I am an INFJ now. Aghhh, I don't know. All my test result with NT, but after some counseling, I've developed more of my F function. So, I really don't know anymore.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Thinking on it more... maybe I am an INFJ now. Aghhh, I don't know. All my test result with NT, but after some counseling, I've developed more of my F function. So, I really don't know anymore.

Type is just a guideline, but anybody can behave anyway under different circumstances. Maybe you should just ask him what is going on in his head, and also express what's going on in yours. I love a good game but the mind reading guessing game is not one of them.
 

Yeonhee

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2009
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INTP
Type is just a guideline, but anybody can behave anyway under different circumstances. Maybe you should just ask him what is going on in his head, and also express what's going on in yours. I love a good game but the mind reading guessing game is not one of them.

I spoke of it to him, and he said he's a simple guy (lol.) if he's not angry, then he's happy (his words) and that he's never been good with expressing his emotions. Well, there you go, I guess.

But, I have a question for you. Is this a P thing? He seems to be somewhat passive about things. For instance, if he wants me to come over, he says "If you want, you can come over." it's never, "I want to see you."
 

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
Thinking on it more... maybe I am an INFJ now. Aghhh, I don't know. All my test result with NT, but after some counseling, I've developed more of my F function. So, I really don't know anymore.

Maybe or maybe not.

I would like to know how you express your affections? Or if you have any.

We're bad at expressing our emotions, but that doesn't mean that we're antisocial! I do not mean to speak for everyone, but I assume that the majority of us express ourselves through: physical contact or random selfless acts of kindness. Like when he randomly buys you a book that he thinks that you will like. This is the greatest act of love that an ENTP can show a person.

It's the small things that count :D
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
I spoke of it to him, and he said he's a simple guy (lol.) if he's not angry, then he's happy (his words) and that he's never been good with expressing his emotions. Well, there you go, I guess.

I have 3 general, everyday emotions: happy/excited, neutral and frustrated/annoyed. Sometimes I get pissed, but that is rare. So I can identify with your guy...

But, I have a question for you. Is this a P thing? He seems to be somewhat passive about things. For instance, if he wants me to come over, he says "If you want, you can come over." it's never, "I want to see you."

Maybe. I can be like that. It depends though. If I truly want something (happy/excited or frustrated/annoyed), I don't mince words. Otherwise, most times I can take it or leave it (neutral).

We're bad at expressing our emotions, but that doesn't mean that we're antisocial! I do not mean to speak for everyone, but I assume that the majority of us express ourselves through: physical contact or random selfless acts of kindness. Like when he randomly buys you a book that he thinks that you will like. This is the greatest act of love that an ENTP can show a person.

It's the small things that count :D

+10000
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
Ah, I see. What I get from this, and deviating to a slightly different persective, is that what is known does not need to be said. It is known to the individual, so why express it? Kind of thing. It might be that way for him. Well, that's fine and all, but not exactly progressive for a relationship. My forte isn't exactly intuiting every emotion people feel, it must be made known to me somehow or I just won't get it sometimes. I spoke of this to him, and he told me he just never had to do it with anyone, so it's new for him.

Not a lot, a lot, but I guess the problem (for me) is not that he doesn't listen, but that he doesn't really add anything to it. Nothing can be really done about that, unfortunately.

Yeah, I suspect some would think he's an introvert. To be precise, he did take another MBTI test before and got INFP, and then he took this one 'improved' MBTI test and got ENTP. Puzzling.

No, having little motivation to communicate (especially about emotions) is definitely not progressive for a relationship, but it's something a lot of people do suffer from. I always think of a billion ways to tell my girlfriend or close friends how I feel at a given time, but in the end I usually don't even say anything or very little about it. Chances are though the guy will eventually open up towards you more eventually if he cares for you, but the two of you (and everybody else) will remain to have differences in emotional and communicational preferences, you'll just have to accept that.

By the way, the not adding anything to some conversations and hardly showing emotions could mean he's got a strong Ti. Maybe he's an INTP instead of an ENTP, I don't know though.

Interesting. He doesn't seem to be this way pertaining to amusing things, he's quite impulsive and free in that area. Anything 'carefree' is expressed freely, but anything 'serious' is kept hidden. You guys are similar in this, I guess.

I want to deal with my problems alone. If you'd be my girlfriend I would not bother you with them either. I'm taking a guess though, that he's more then willing to help you with your problems or listen to you on subjects you feel strong about.

I spoke of it to him, and he said he's a simple guy (lol.) if he's not angry, then he's happy (his words) and that he's never been good with expressing his emotions. Well, there you go, I guess.

But, I have a question for you. Is this a P thing? He seems to be somewhat passive about things. For instance, if he wants me to come over, he says "If you want, you can come over." it's never, "I want to see you."

:yes:
 
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