I like being an island and not 'needing' others to recharge. I love that the search for truth and knowledge is my highest priority and that I am not all emotionally invested in winning/losing as to take it personally or get 'stuck' on a particular idea. The ability to sense contradictions/corrolations regardless of time passed, setting, etc is very useful as I intuitively 'know' that there is something wrong in a given situation, even if it takes a bit for me to reason through just 'what' that is. The ability to know every minute detail of a rationale, or each building block of a line or reasoning and remember them all, when discussing with others makes me content like a cat, sleeping on a pillow by the fire. I enjoy being the one other people come to for advice - that others recognize me as such, makes me feel useful and that the pain is/was worthwhile.
I absolutely hate feeling socially awkward all the time - even though most just assume I've got it all together - inside, I'm cringing. As a mother, I hate how I'm not traditionally 'motherly' - feeling like I've shorted my kids somehow. I HATE HATE HATE how I just don't have it in me, couldn't even if I tried - meet up with cultural expectations for mother/wife rolls because I sense that my family feels shorted, slighted. Every time I touch someone - it is a purposeful effort - not 'natural'. Sometimes, having young children, who needed touching constantly, was horribly draining. Now, with teenagers - the emotional input can be exhausting. I hate how my forgetfulness, procrastination, and living in my head'ness make me look unprofessional or dumb, or 'female'. Grrrrrrrrr.
Openness to new ideas and experiences; open-mindedness
Ability to quickly and easily make connections that others have difficulty seeing or making sense of
Less dependency on other people to make me comfortable or happy
Appreciation of broad, diverse areas of interest (i.e., rarely bored)
Ability to ignore social conventions, traditions and other concepts I find largely useless and wasteful
Social awkwardness (i.e. saying & doing the wrong things at the wrong times)
Difficulty carrying on conversations with people I don't know
Second guessing myself. And third, and fourth, and...
Struggling with Te, and heavy users of such (severely limits my ability to communicate effectively at work)
Procrastination - I can feel myself doing it, I know it's not going to pay off for me in any conceivable manner, yet I do it anyway.
83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good
+ My memory. Especially when it comes to things that I am interested in. You can't touch me.
+ My ability to grasp things, make connections, and stay ahead of most in the group.
+ My ability to explain and break down things to people in a way that they will understand.
+ My attention to detail helps me catch on to things that others may miss. I will see, hear, smell, and feel things that will pass other people.
+ While I am more comfortable in the details, I don't dismiss the big picture. My initial thoughts are in the weeds, but I'll get to the the forest outlook within a short amount of time.
+ That I am a think first, speak later type in most situations. Since learning MBTI I can see how an E can seemingly miss something someone said or did because they are running their yap and not listening.
+ I love where I fall on the I/E continuum. I'm sometimes mistaken for an E because I can talk and joke with the best of them. I'm also pretty socially open, though I have my times when I feel I don't know what to say. I know I'm an I because after too much talking/interaction I tend to shut down. Now at work I try to schedule my meetings with my staff in the AM with the hopes I can work at my pace for the rest of the day.
+ I love that my Ne's pretty developed. I find in most of the small things in life, I don't really care. I don't care about too many of the 'who's and why's' of a situation. I am not so tight that I am ready to cast people off because they were wrong according to my pre-conceived expectations.
I'm not so loving
- My lack of knowledge of how I feel about things- I have been so emotionally withdrawn in my life that I don't know how to identify and/or discuss how I feel about stuff without feeling vulnerable.
-How I become paralyzed when making large decisions, when the answer isn't so clear. I can spend so much time analyzing that I get nowhere and find my back against the wall or missing out on a good opportunity due to it.
-I've realized that in team sports, I fail at being able to see the everything. The larger the team, the more this is apparent. Sometimes I might get burnt on a play because I focus so much on what's in front of me instead of being able to see the big picture. While I definitely am not going to try the same move repeatedly and expect the same results, sometimes I can become so engrossed in my thoughts I'll miss an opportunity to pass to an open teammate or I'll pass off when the shot was mines to take.
-My think first, speak later can be a bummer when my confidence is not so high.
-Being so aware of others and their flaws means being aware of my own. So I'm more modest in the way I express myself and my abilities. This isn't always good at work.
-I can be really thrown off sometimes if I didn't see it coming.
My ability to make (what I think are) "good" decisions.
My not needing people.
The funny connections I make in my head that no one else gets.
My inability to form "meaningful" relationships.
My wanting to form "meaningful" relationships.
How my ego is tied to my intelligence and the ramifications that has.