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[MBTI General] Mother married an ESFJ :'(

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
Basically...

The idea of being married to an ESFJ is not only unappealing to me, but I despise the idea. I'd probably go crazy and kill myself by cutting on my finger, writing her name on the wall with the blood, then blowing my brains out with a gun.

Either that or I'd be committed for the rest of my life as a danger to myself and others, and/or being unable to distinguish reality from illusion.

Besides it's just a step-daughter/step-father issue. I have never met someone in my life who was so stubborn and damn annoying. He told my mother that his mother told him that photographers can't take pictures of Black people because the lenses can't see them, therefore you need to buy special lenses specifically designed for Black people. And I am not making this shit up.

Typical conversation:
Me: "The sun is mostly made out of helium & hydrogen."
Him: "That's a fallacy!"
Me: "Wot"
Him: "It's fire and orange! Gases are clear!"
Me: "Wait a minute.."
Him: "I know that I'm right and you're wrong!"
Me: "..."

Whenever I see him I have the sudden urge to strangle him. What's the best possible way to keep the peace? As of now I avoid him or else we get into an argument when he says something stupid :doh:

I'm an INTP & he is an ESFJ. My god D: it just seems disastrous. I think that he is trying to bond with me because he has started to taunt me... Which I do not like at all. As a consequence, I am beginning to mock him (without doing it on purpose). My brother who is an ENFJ was laughing and telling me how he told my mother to warn our new step-dad to not tease me because I am starting to snap at him. :'( Hilfe
 

kathara

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
167
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I'd probably go crazy and kill myself by cutting on my finger, writing her name on the wall with the blood, then blowing my brains out with a gun.

What would be the purpose of that?
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Basically...



Besides it's just a step-daughter/step-father issue. I have never met someone in my life who was so stubborn and damn annoying. He told my mother that his mother told him that photographers can't take pictures of Black people because the lenses can't see them, therefore you need to buy special lenses specifically designed for Black people. And I am not making this shit up.

Typical conversation:
Me: "The sun is mostly made out of helium & hydrogen."
Him: "That's a fallacy!"
Me: "Wot"
Him: "It's fire!"
Me: "Wait a minute.."
Him: "I know that I'm right and you're wrong!"
Me: "..."

Whenever I see him I have the sudden urge to strangle him. What's the best possible way to keep the peace? As of now I avoid him or else we get into an argument when he says something stupid :doh:

I'm an INTP & he is an ESFJ. My god D: it just seems disastrous.

Actually its over 99% plasma:hi:
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Just call him ignorant. Ignorant people hate this, they think you are calling them stupid.

You: "You're ignorant."
Him: "What? Are you saying I'm stupid?"
You: "No, ignorance is not stupidity. But now that you raise the point, you are stupid as well."
 

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
I thought you were an ENTP.

I'm a pseudo-ENTP :D

Just call him ignorant. Ignorant people hate this, they think you are calling them stupid.

You: "You're ignorant."
Him: "What? Are you saying I'm stupid?"
You: "No, ignorance is not stupidity. But now that you raise the point, you are stupid as well."

No, then he'll never shut up!
 

TopherRed

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
1,272
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I know what you mean. I'm an ENFJ and my Ti is waaay down at the bottom rung of my concious functions, but my grandmother (with whom I currently reside), my supervisor, my manager, and one of my aunts all inherited this distinguished title, and none of them have ever made much logical sense consistantly.

I seriously believe in having to deal with them on a day to day basis, and being intuitive has helped me a great deal in learning to discern fact from emotional observation.
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
6,180
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
HAHAHA!!! Sounds like your in a real jam. What I love about ESXJs is messing with their heads. Their minds are like an experiment. Just see what happens if you say this or that. Mess with his mind.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
I would completely say something like that ESFJ, gawd bless his tender, hummingbird heart.

Are you sure he wasn't joking?
 

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
I would completely say something like that ESFJ, gawd bless his tender, hummingbird heart.

Are you sure he wasn't joking?

About the Black people/lenses thing? No, he was being serious.
 

Tewt

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
420
MBTI Type
ENTP
Oh the Step Wars...if you don't find a way to get along with him now, it's going to get much worse. Oh yes, yes it can. It has less to do with type, but figuring out how to get along with types if that makes any sense. The step is a bigger thing than the esfj.

Are you living with him? If so, suggest you move asap. Don't borrow money, don't ask for favors etc. They will never let it go, because you are now their daughter, you will do their bidding :devil: you will agree to whatever asinine thing that pops into their head, you will call him daddy, you will smile and want to play with their 7 cats and love every second of it. You will love each other because you are faaaaaamily and you will smile, SMILE, while doing it.

Trust me, btdt have the tshirt. Just find a way to smile and nod.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
It took me a looong time to warm up to my ESFJ sis-in-law, but I realized slowly that her haughty, judgmental attitude was just a shell hiding a very insecure character. I tried engaging her on topics that interested her. Talking about shoes or stupid celebrity gossip broke down her defenses and made her start to realize that I wasn't a threatening person whose sole focus in life was to make her feel stupid. I don't know how she got that impression, but she really thought I was smug and a know-it-all. And I thought she was shallow and impressionable. Ok, we're cool now and I adore her - but my conversations with her are still very limited to clothes, gossip and making fun of my brother.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
I'm picturing a guy going into a camera store and asking for "one of those black people lenses" and then trying to explain it. That is too good. :D
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
About the Black people/lenses thing? No, he was being serious.

My sis-in-law said a similarly ridiculous thing about sushi when I first met her. I can't remember exactly what she said, but that was when I started to avoid her and she did the same. Now, we're pretty close and I often call her to tell her things before I call my own sisters. Trust me, anything is possible if you are willing to compromise for your mom's sake.
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I guess I was lucky with the step-dad I ended up with. He ended up more reasonable than my mother, too bad he had to die so soon. His mother, on the other hand, likes to do things like call lizards 'worms'. I mess her up by falsly defending her to my sisters stating she is using an archaic term.
 

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
Are you sure yall aren't failing to recognize a very literal joke told with a straight face?

I've had people believing that I really thought something so absurd was true but I was just joking the whole time and never broke character.
 
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