[INTP] INTP lies

[Spamtar]

My INTP doesn't lie so much as engage in evasive maneuvers. If he is doing that, you are probably asking him things that are none of your business or he thinks you are going to over-react to his answer or both.

I thinks INTP have great love of greater truths but will be evasive and will tell "white lies" more than most. Especially where they think they are sparing someone’s feelings. (as opposed to INTJs who will be Ok with hurting feeling but will often lie for greater pragmatic reasons)

For example here is what goes through an INTP mind. OK she keeps on telling me she loves me, I don't respond that I love her for how many months?, She keeps on asking me do I love her? I say I don't know how I feel, I don't think so, she sends letters emails expressing love I see her telling other people she loves them, she always talks about things she loves to do, loves to eat. She wants some validation so she feels better. Ok I will respond a email with "luv Spamtar".

Rationalization: Ok according to C.S. Lewis there are 4 kinds of love:
storge,philia,eros, and agapē. I feel affection, friendship, sexual bonding, and love of you as one of God's creatures.

Ok either one or more of the loves apply or a combination thereof...OK since you forced me I "luv" you. Now please don't ask again.

Chances are that he may or may not be in love with you. You will not know for sure unless you leave him and monitor his reaction. The only downside is that the INTP has a lot of pride and even if they do love you they may shun you if they think you abandoned them.

I have been "in love" only once. But I have loved many women and show my love through my actions to them.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

You wish it were that simple. I'm not going to say a word.

It's interesting how it's INTP lies and not INFP lies or ENTP lies or INFJ lies.

 

[Poki]

The INTPs I know closely (my Mum and sister) would never lie exactly. Even when pressed they will tell the exact truth in a way that can be interpreted in several ways. Or leave out some information. The words themselves will be truth though.

This may be an IxTP thing.

 

[jenocyde]

It's interesting how it's INTP lies and not INFP lies or ENTP lies or INFJ lies.

"ENTP lies" threads have been done to death.

 

[Spamtar]

I think there is a general consensus that INTP prefer to tell the truth. They often piss a lot of people off because they "like" to tell the truth. If they can't tell the truth they will be evasive, if they can't be evasive they may either tell the truth or lie and if they do lie it will often be as minimal as possible or lead to less lying in the future or otherwise easier to logically rationalize.

 

[cafe]

I thinks INTP have great love of greater truths but will be evasive and will tell "white lies" more than most. Especially where they think they are sparing someone’s feelings. (as opposed to INTJs who will be Ok with hurting feeling but will often lie for greater pragmatic reasons)

For example here is what goes through an INTP mind. OK she keeps on telling me she loves me, I don't respond that I love her for how many months?, She keeps on asking me do I love her? I say I don't know how I feel, I don't think so, she sends letters emails expressing love I see her telling other people she loves them, she always talks about things she loves to do, loves to eat. She wants some validation so she feels better. Ok I will respond a email with "luv Spamtar".

This reminds me of the first time my now-husband told me he loved me.

I was thinking that it was possible that I loved him, but that it was way too soon to know for sure, but I was pretty sure that if the relationship was allowed to grow that I would love him and I didn't want to kill it before it got that far. EEEEEK!!!! whatdoisaywhatdoisaywhatdoisay????


"Ditto."



Did someone mention INFJ lies?

 

[Gewitter27]

I love honesty so much, it isn't even funny. People in today's society are such obnoxious liars. I try to lie as little as humanly possible.

This is actually one of my theme songs:
YouTube - Billy Joel - Honesty
(Embedding was disabled)


This one goes to the one I'll love.


Except for the part about finding a lover, a friend, and security, it seems just so true and 'Me'.

(I'm being a bit NF right now... Don't point out what I already know.)

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

By my definition, all of the INTPs I've known have been honest people.

 

[Oom]

By my definition, all of the INTPs I've known have been honest people.

Ditto, myself included. Maybe it's the need for clarification that is stated in the INTP profile. My girlfriend got mad at me. She said, "You told me she looked hot!"

I said, "No, I told you she looked pretty."

 

[GatorGirl]

My INTP doesn't lie so much as engage in evasive maneuvers. If he is doing that, you are probably asking him things that are none of your business or he thinks you are going to over-react to his answer or both.

Well, the over react part I can get... but he knows me well, and he knows that I am good at picking out inconsistencies and maybe even to an obsessive degree lol Anyway...

Its not the "love" thing I worry about. I don't ask for that. Actually, he is the one who is/was always asking me those types of things
eg while relationship going well

"I don't think you really love me"
"Are you sure you aren't like this with every guy you date"

eg while not so good times
"are you sure you miss me or do you miss the idea of us?"

It was really strange... he went off one night when we went on vacation. He knew he was going to get called away for training soon. and he went off about how much he loved me and wanted to marry me and I was perfect and it scared him, (he was a bit drunk)

then about a week later when we got back, we were at dinner and he just threw out there "will you marry me?" I could tell he wasn't "really" proposing for reasons other than he had no ring. I just looked at him, and very earnestly said "don't do that unless you are serious, it toys with my heart."

He went on to sa it was just a test. Well, I had obviously not passed the test. Then things spiraled down the next week rapidly... I don't know, that is when the weirdness started, If I keep going it will be way too long and too much detail

 

[Salomé]

we were at dinner and he just threw out there "will you marry me?" I could tell he wasn't "really" proposing for reasons other than he had no ring. I just looked at him, and very earnestly said "don't do that unless you are serious, it toys with my heart."

He went on to say it was just a test. Well, I had obviously not passed the test. Then things spiraled down the next week rapidly... I don't know, that is when the weirdness started, If I keep going it will be way too long and too much detail

The problem isn't lying, or your eye for inconsistencies. He just sounds like an insecure, selfish if not downright cruel, asshole.

 

[Spamtar]

Also it might be that some INTP are not keyed into social nicities. Sometimes they just ask questions because they are curious of the answer and are clueless of the emotional effect of what even asking the qustion means. (i.e. hmmm, I wounder if she would marry me if I asked "ah BTW would you marry me if I asked?" "Nah Im not asking, just curious.") Usually there is no malicious intent, just the type of curiousity that kills the cat.

 

[Edgar]

I feel dirty when lying. I'd rather keep quiet than tell a porker. Is it weird that I actually get a buzz out of telling the truth?

It's called veritasphilia, and it's listed as a mental defect in DSM IV.

Look it up.

 

[GatorGirl]

Also it might be that some INTP are not keyed into social nicities. Sometimes they just ask questions because they are curious of the answer and are clueless of the emotional effect of what even asking the qustion means. (i.e. hmmm, I wounder if she would marry me if I asked "ah BTW would you marry me if I asked?" "Nah Im not asking, just curious.") Usually there is no malicious intent, just the type of curiousity that kills the cat.

Yeah. He would definitely be the kind of person to not realize the emotional aspect of it, but we had discussions before in which I admitted to wanting to marry him.

 

[Salomé]

Also it might be that some INTP are not keyed into social nicities. Sometimes they just ask questions because they are curious of the answer and are clueless of the emotional effect of what even asking the qustion means. (i.e. hmmm, I wounder if she would marry me if I asked "ah BTW would you marry me if I asked?" "Nah Im not asking, just curious.") Usually there is no malicious intent, just the type of curiousity that kills the cat.

C'mon. Even an INTP knows the difference between "would you marry me?" and "will you marry me?".

 

[wildcat]

So she deserves the burden of falsehood?
No.
Confession is merely a salve for the conscience.
Repentance requires reparation.

Ignorance is beyond truth or falsehood.
Truth is a burden.
Ignorance is bliss.

 

[tgk]

Sounds like the op just Misinterpreted the Rules

 

[GatorGirl]

op?

 

[Salomé]

Ignorance is beyond truth or falsehood.
Truth is a burden.
Ignorance is bliss.

You could only know that for sure if you were ignorant.
If you are ignorant, how can you know for sure?

 

[tgk]

op?

Original Poster aka You