User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 48

  1. #1
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,487

    Default an NT in love....

    I was chatting with Salt and Pepper on the ENTJ thread and then again with Rag later about NT's and love...

    I have a hunch that Nt's are reserved going into relationships because they put those relationships up on a pedistal - making them more important. They seek an idealistic relationship, more so than NF's do.... NT's in love - when they allow themselves are deeply romantic and make great efforts to show that to their partners...

    A guy I worked with had notes in is diary for his first meeting with his wife, their aniversary and other big occations... so he would remember to mark them for her.

    An alternative is that NT's are just really scared to get hurt so make it hard to let people near....

    that NT's use criteria and are not people focused enough to know that 2 or 3 of those criteria tend not to happen in real live people....

    Thoughts, challenges, soppy moments, deep love....please share....

  2. #2
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    651

    Default

    I think you're pretty correct, in my opinion. I've never actually been in a relationship, but I'd say that I'd be pretty close to what you said, both the alternative and your hunch are pretty correct for me in my point of view.

    That said I'd say I prefer to be the Seeker, endlessly hunting a female that is just right. From what I read the most attractive type (To Me) is ENTP, so I'm a ENTP female hunter. Course that's probably never going to happen and I'll end up alone all my life, but whatever. I do not see myself as being desirable at all, so I really don't think I have any chance.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  3. #3
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    intj
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    2,220

    Default

    Putting relationships on a pedestal...maybe. I have very high standards for relationships (platonic and otherwise). When I recognize a potentially good relationship, I tend to be slow to move into it lest I overlook some flaw that could give me trouble down the line. I like to smooth out all of the wrinkles before I proceed.

    Right now I'm involved in a very intellectual...um...thing with an NT guy. I'm not sure exactly where we're at, but we're taking it very, very slow (perhaps because there is twice as much NT reservation). Anyway, this is the first chance I've had to take a relationship at a pace I'm comfortable with (in the past I've somehow always become involved with Fe dom or aux boys who tell me they love me a week after I've met them...). It's very nice and I feel like there's real potential, though I can still manage to conjure up a million arguments as to why it's a bad idea. Perhaps NTs just overthink things
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  4. #4
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,487

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    though I can still manage to conjure up a million arguments as to why it's a bad idea. Perhaps NTs just overthink things
    I don't think it ever goes away. Many NT's are risk takers but they just can't seem to get by the arguments against putting themselves out their...

    The boys stop proposing after a while and begin to get a bit more real.....

    Ode to an NT on a love argument.... (it's such an NF song, and NT would never behave like this)
    YouTube - Chris De Burgh The head and the heart

  5. #5
    Senior Member kathara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    167

    Default

    When I am in love, I am in love, I actually go to that floating state.

  6. #6
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    2,008

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    1. making them more important.

    2. NT's in love - when they allow themselves are deeply romantic and make great efforts to show that to their partners...

    3. A guy I worked with had notes in is diary for his first meeting with his wife, their aniversary and other big occations... so he would remember to mark them for her.

    4. An alternative is that NT's are just really scared to get hurt so make it hard to let people near....

    5. that NT's use criteria and are not people focused enough to know that 2 or 3 of those criteria tend not to happen in real live people....

    6. Thoughts, challenges, soppy moments, deep love....please share....
    1. I think for me, why my romantic relationships become so important, is that I fully see him as my partner. He's my partner, I depend, trust, admire and respect him. And there's a lot of give and take involved. He becomes a part of my brain, sort of. I make us an entity. He, himself, is a system. Seeing a person from this perspective, of course makes the relationship very important to me.

    2. Words can't really give you a fair idea of how I am romantic. "It's kind of like trying to describe a piece of complex art over the phone."* And I'm not sure that it can even be called romantic, but I go out of my way to care about someone, I care about.

    3. I do this. But I would never, ever let him know I did.

    4. Yes. I don't let people in without a fight, especially true when it comes to romantic relationships. When I tell people I did truly "fall in love" with my ex, I tell them: people fall in love - it happens to the best of us. That's basically my attitude towards love. I think it takes a lot for me to surrender to it, but when I do - all hell breaks loose.

    5. That sounds about right. I expect a lot from my partner. I think quite a few of those expectations/standards are sort of subhuman. I'd be better off with a really hot robot.

    6. I wanna share a couple of sappy moments from my only deep love:
    - On our first date he asked me: What inspires you?
    - When we started dating he asked me: What process created you?
    - Some time into our relationship he said to me: I wanna know everything you know.
    - When we lived together he said to me: Lets make a lemon, baby.

    *stolen quote.

  7. #7
    The Architect Alwar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    922

    Default

    I tried to start a relationship with poppy but she hit me over the head with her giant leather purse with spikes on it. And Salt n' Pepper chased me away with a boar spear.

    Pedestal may not be the right word, I have high standards as poppy said not because I'm some robot with OCD but because I have seen too many peers get into relationships on shallow grounds, only to end in disaster. Also, why bother if you know it isn't going to work. Even in highschool I took relationships seriously and never understood how people could have a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week.

  8. #8
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    Heck yes I put relationships on a pedestal.

    I don't see a point to a relationship unless I feel right in it.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #9
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    intj
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    2,220

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    I tried to start a relationship with poppy but she hit me over the head with her giant leather purse with spikes on it.
    Sorry 'bout that dear
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  10. #10
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    2,008

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    I tried to start a relationship with poppy but she hit me over the head with her giant leather purse with spikes on it. And Salt n' Pepper chased me away with a boar spear.
    Oh. I thought that was foreplay.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alwar View Post
    Also, why bother if you know it isn't going to work.
    That's the question. What's the point.

Similar Threads

  1. [NT] Defining Moments in the making of an NT.
    By ladypinkington in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 136
    Last Post: 07-15-2012, 06:42 PM
  2. [NT] NTs in love, relationships, how do you rationalize love? How do you handle feelings?
    By Brian2626 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 01-27-2012, 11:59 PM
  3. [ENFJ] Was/is in love with an ENFJ.. can't understand how he feels, help!
    By sarahd242 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 01-25-2009, 07:32 PM
  4. [INTP] Please help! I'm in love with an INTp
    By Marie in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 191
    Last Post: 01-18-2009, 12:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO