WOOT! My computer is back online. Now running with XP/Windows 7 dual boot-y goodness. It sucked going a week with nothing but my iphone for my interwebz addiction.
Now, time to get back on track with this, if anybody's still interested.
I really think its coming down to INFP or INTP. Looking through the forums, this seems to be a common point of conflict for folks. Seems the main difference in the two isn't so much in their actions or habits, but how they perceive things and the thought process behind the actions.
When I start self-analyzing I detach from myself quite a bit. It makes it easier to figure out my own thoughts, actions, and feelings.
As I've stated in the past, I love my tech. I've got a few technical manuals, computer build and security books, and car building books. I've realized I skim through those books for the main points but I'll bury myself in a psychology book or fantasy novel and throw the tech stuff in a corner without a second thought.
Looking back, I was a gullible little kid. I would believe anything my friends told me just because they were my friends and I trusted them. I had to learn to be skeptical. I still have a very hard time trusting even my closest friends. I'm always caught between wondering what they're really after and wanting to believe they'd never do something like that. I wonder how much of their words are meant to placate me and how much is sincere....I don't like that I do that, hate it in fact, but I've been back-stabbed and left hangin' enough times I can't help it.
I also have tendency to mimic people or "brain channel" as I've called it on occasion. I take up small habits and phrases they use without really meaning to. I get to the point that I can time some of their phrases and tell when they're going to use that particular phrase. I can make the effort to say it before them or in time with them. With my closer friends, we end up saying the exact same thing at the same time on accident or one of us saying exactly what the other is thinking...Well, its only been two people in my life its happened a lot with. With others, its much more sporadic but it still happens.
Just saw a post in another forum that brought up another couple of points. One of my friends learned that if your going to give me a compliment you have to follow it up with something sarcastic or I freeze up. Direct compliments kind of shock me, I'm not used to them. It was funny to me when they told me they figured this out because I didn't realize before then that it was completely true.
I get nervous when I'm doing something new and friends are around. With strangers I don't give a crap, I'll probably never see them again, but with friends I get very self-conscious.
I had a pretty deep conversation with a friend not too long ago. After it was over, they told me something to the effect of, "Thank you for knowing me better than I know myself". This isn't the first time this has happened and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'm afraid I'm digging too deep with them and they don't want to tell me so. I want to dig in and get to know them, help them with their problems, but I've had a tendency to go in too deep too fast on occasion and spooked people or upset them when it wasn't my intention.
Thats all I've got time for right now.
P.S. It's good to be back