I wonder why I didn't see this topic sooner.
What I need from you NTs: Prove me wrong. Show me that we are more. I really want to live again. I don't want to kill myself. Please. I am saying this with utter seriousness. I cannot simply ignore it and live for the moment. There is more, and I really wish I could expain it better, but I am not intelligent enough to do so. I am existentialist to the extreme.
Dude, not that I care much wether you kill yourself or not. But everyone needs to find their own reasons to live. And you are no different.
What should be enough is knowing we all die at some point and being an existentialist, believe of second chances or after life aren't there. Because of this, we can see life as a game. Go into the world, do some good, get reactions, have fun. Go with the flow. Killing yourself would achieve nothing.
As far as control is concerned, you are in control of yourself within the limits of your capabilities. You can't control other people to the full extent. But you are still perfectly in control of what you do with everything.
Life is built on choices. Learn to appreciate the good and the bad things in life. You're in control of your choices.
School may suck, but not going or failing school probably sucks more. So stick with it, and make the best of it. Don't go about whining about it. You'll not get anything with whining, apart from misplaced empathy by poor sensitive souls. And if you have any decency left in you, you'll probably hate that even more. So get a hold of yourself and make some choices.
Either way, embrace the ignorance you see in the world. Learn from it. Adjust accordingly. And show how it's done in your opinion. Don't go cry in a corner like a pussy. Both good and bad things are equally important.
PS: Media is mostly centered around bad things. What you hear and see on TV, is a selective grasp. Good is often seen as common, normal. It does not get much attention. Whereas bad does get attention. So start opening your eyes and see both sides to things.
So are you in control? Heck yes you are.