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  1. #31
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salt n' pepper View Post
    WTF is wrong with ENTJs? What you said is the story of my life. As soon as I care, I fuck it up. I'm a mess!

    EDIT: At the moment, I'm where htb stands. I've decided I won't be successful in love. And even if I do get success in love, I know I'm gonna fail sooner or later, cause naturally, I want to be successful in my work life too. And I've never, never, had a relationship or a partner that has accepted my work ethics. So I'm pretty much doomed. Unless I meet another ENTJ with the same high standards as mine and won't mind me working a lot.
    AH! creepiest thread of the year! this has to be the most specific overlap of a type group Ive ever seen! we are all even using the same phrases!

    my adopted solution: make a shit load of money until some ISJF suddenly realizes she HAS to have me...

    ...sadly its...the only way.

  2. #32
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    That's a stupid plan. I've had 3 ISFJ girlfriends in my life so far (and the one I'm with right now, I've been for 3 years), without having much money. They never complained about that (I'm 23, and still in college, thus not expected to be rich. Maybe that plays a part, but I doubt it). Sure, I'm not poor and I can afford to bring them out for dinner and/or travel, but that's far from being filthy rich.

    If you try to attract gold-diggers, you will always live with the doubt about their intentions, which on the long run means absolutely certain divorce.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  3. #33
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    That's a stupid plan. I've had 3 ISFJ girlfriends in my life so far (and the one I'm with right now, I've been for 3 years), without having much money. They never complained about that (I'm 23, and still in college, thus not expected to be rich. Maybe that plays a part, but I doubt it). Sure, I'm not poor and I can afford to bring them out for dinner and/or travel, but that's far from being filthy rich.

    If you try to attract gold-diggers, you will always live with the doubt about their intentions, which on the long run means absolutely certain divorce.
    well mr ESTP--I mean ENTJ (), what better solution do you propose? As you can see from this thread, ENTJs dont really do the conventional way of romantic success. I need a better solution rather than a simple cheap shot at mine :steam:

  4. #34
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Just ask her out and it'll work out from that? Easier done than written. I've never seen an ISFJ complaining if you can't go out b/c you have to work. If anything, they find it somehow admirable.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #35
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Just ask her out and it'll work out from that? Easier done than written. I've never seen an ISFJ complaining if you can't go out b/c you have to work. If anything, they find it somehow admirable.
    thats assuming we ENTJs have agreeable ISFJs to woo. It seems that every ENTJ here except you was not designed for love :steam:. Thats why i had to insert the "buy" and ISFJ line. Its not that im scared to ask a girl out (ok thats only partially true), its that literally I have no other options.

    Im also considering an INFJ, INTP, or INFP slave in addition to ISFJ slaves.

  6. #36
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    C'mon now, the world is chock-full of ISFJs. I can't really understand what it means "not designed for love" - that's mostly some overthinking stuff, if you find a girl you like and you're happy when you're toghether, that's enough, no need for deep psychological complexities if you're not tailored for them (and I'm not, for example, so I have to try to avoid that).

    BTW, I have 4 ENTJ friends that have an ISFJ girlfriend. To me, this topic seems more an exception to the rule than the reverse.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  7. #37
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Someone who values me as a person in my own right, rather than an addition to their lives when they need companionship. I wonder if some of these considerations are things that can change, or if they are just the flip sides to the wonderful qualities tha ENTJs possess. In my experience, trying to bring up these issues results in complaints of oversensitivity or nitpicking and I hate to make a person feel that way.
    What you wrote resonated with me - I have the threat (negative possibility) of considering life from my own perspective, and others as additions. I still think the best situation to strive for is something where both person's wants are being taken in. It might be that the other doesn't plan and execute as much of external things as the other, but their wills and wants are valuable nevertheless. It might be unreasonable to expect that people of different extraversion would have the same amount stuff to do and talk about. My ideal of ENTJ in this scenario would involve the ENTJ appreciating the other person's life with their goals valuable in their own right. At least, that is my gold standard. A standard I might fall short of, sometimes.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #38
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    thats assuming we ENTJs have agreeable ISFJs to woo. It seems that every ENTJ here except you was not designed for love :steam:. Thats why i had to insert the "buy" and ISFJ line. Its not that im scared to ask a girl out (ok thats only partially true), its that literally I have no other options.

    Im also considering an INFJ, INTP, or INFP slave in addition to ISFJ slaves.
    Guys

    That is so sad...and not nessesarily true... yes it's hard but hey you lot are still out there - thinking of this stuff...

    1. Why would you go out with an ISFJ - try N types it's easier on you....

    2. I'm begning to be aware of the Idlyic thinkg..... NF's are pretty idealistic, but NT's are really, really idealistic.

    Relationships are all about compormise, learnign to be flexible to deal with others foybles - try dating people who don't tick all your boxes but say the top 3 or 4 and see how it goes.

  9. #39
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    BTW, I have 4 ENTJ friends that have an ISFJ girlfriend. To me, this topic seems more an exception to the rule than the reverse.
    I dunno about that. Seems like a lot of ENTJs struggle with the balance of either all in and overdoing it, or all out and dismiss people before they even given them a chance to "prove themselves". I do that all the time. I'm very quick to value their existence in my life.

    Basically I get the sense that it's all because of our high and rarely met standards and expectations. At least that's my problem. When someone meets my idea of "perfect" (for lack of a better word) I basically go into hunting-mode and so the race begins. I go into full speed, with the car still in a low gear and eventually the whole thing breaks down and I end up scaring them away, pushing too hard too fast. I'm too much in a hurry to "get there".

    Then there's the work balance. Sheesh. I'll say this much, I expect a lot from my partner in that area. I expect them to understand a lot, and I expect them to be very patient. If the tables were turned, I'd expect the same thing from myself. Which becomes a double edge sword, cause unless my partner thinks like I do, they'll still feel unloved.

    I either need someone submissive, that won't say boh, or someone similar-minded that understands.

    I've only met one person in my 23 years of life that's even come close to "perfect" and I think that's the only time I've felt love, at least I felt very committed to him. But I made him feel pressured to love me more. I made him feel like he had to live up to standards that I had set up for the relationship. I made him feel like he was the worse part of our relationship, cause I kept trying to top myself and he couldn't keep up. I think I had a pretty clear vision of where I wanted this thing to go, and I was unable to see or enjoy the moment. Anyway, there are the things he told me.

    After my last relationship, I've written off relationships and men. Not cause I'm bitter, it just took too much energy and focus and it's not worth it in the end cause everything ends.

    And someone said they were gonna make an INTP their slave. How you can possibly think that, I'll never know. In two words, you can't. They will flip that shit back to you, so fast - you don't know what hit ya.

  10. #40
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    1. Why would you go out with an ISFJ - try N types it's easier on you....

    2. I'm begning to be aware of the Idlyic thinkg..... NF's are pretty idealistic, but NT's are really, really idealistic.
    Tink, I think you're on to something. I get the sense, after reading a lot about NT's in love, they are even more idealistic than NFs. But in a very different way. Not what I'd call the general idea of idealism, and maybe that's why, they are so hard to live up to. ?

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