I recognize that, to a certain extent, this problem will be endemic within the NTJ types. However, I'm trying to figure out how to minimize the amount of anguish NTJ's experience as a result of this behavior. I have found that coming to the conclusion that "I often don't live up to my own standards, why should I expect others to do so" helps significantly in introducing some perspective to the situation.
Exploring and developing Fi also definitely helps to minimize the amount to which ENTJ's define their world in solely black and white terms.
The key I think is to realize that there is a difference between our work lives and our personal lives.
The more one understands that these two spheres are (and should remain) separate, the better off they will be. The problem arises when NTJ's begin to define their entire lives by the standards they hold for themselves at work. While feelings and emotions usually have less importance in the business world (the world in which we are comfortable and dominate), the personal world of human relations and interaction we find in society and at home is dominated and driven by feelings arising from personal interaction.
Unfortunately, without Fe it is hard to make the leap from "I have feelings" to "other people have feelings and I should probably take those into account". However, with Fi, one can begin with an understanding of individual personal feelings, and through effort, apply that cognitive analysis to others.
I know how important this issue is to helping become a more balanced and agreeable person (as an NTJ). More importantly, loneliness is the deepest scar I (and I suspect many NTJ's) carry, so I'll do my best to find a solution and get back to you guys with it.