[NT] An NT girl's pursuit of...

[ring the bell]

Sometimes I feel like I push myself out of my comfortable little world in the hopes of successfully becoming more extroverted. It seems like that is the ideal, really.. that life could just be easier if I were able to just function with a little more ease in a more outward direction.

I've been successful, at times, of really pushing myself. In the end, however, I always end up feeling completely displaced from myself, usually over some small switch in my consciousness. I get angry at the world, throw up my hands, search around me quite franticly, looking for something to grasp onto that I actually enjoy.. and end with falling into a heap on the floor.

When I pick myself up, I realize that I'm just never going to make it happen. Why is changing myself in some other direction really that important anyway? When I'm comfortable in myself, as I am, I'm happy. My inner world is a very rich one... why shove it aside in pursuit of something more?

I'm leaving this open ended for a reason..

 

[Orangey]

Tell me about it. I think I'm becoming an alcoholic for precisely that reason. And I don't even like alcohol...

 

[ring the bell]

Honestly, it's hard to live outside of people's eyes at the moment. Otherwise, I'd be happy to do so and do exactly as I pleased all the time without anyone's judgement. And, whether I like it or not, people's judgements do affect me. I never can be quite certain that they aren't right until I've explored it a bit...

It just seems like extroversion is the favorable state to be in. I guess I'm learning too that I might not be meant to follow the path that looks most fun. I'm supposed to admire that path, but set my own.. and love it and nurture it and appreciate it and let it bloom.

 

[INTPness]

It is my personal opinion that I have a duty to share my natural strengths with the world (as a whole, or with certain individuals who live in the world). I totally, 100%, relate to your thoughts. My inner world is extremely rich. I don't ever want to "throw that aside to become an extrovert". I believe that I am the person who I am for a reason. To try to change my basic personality is not only futile, but it robs me of who I am and it robs others of what I can share with them.

But, in an effort to share my personal flavor with the world, there is some level of extroversion required. If I want to write books, then I will need to form some relationships and develop some sort of network and perhaps do book signings. If there is some bit of knowledge/wisdom that I can share with people, then I need to get out and share it with people. If I know that I would feel really bad as an old man if I didn't at least attempt running my own business, then I need to do just that - attempt running my own business.

I'm learning that it is so important to find a balance where we are "being true to ourselves" yet still "venturing out" and "growing". I do believe, with time and experience, that extroversion will become easier for me. But, it's a process. And I have to put forth some effort in that process if I expect any results.

I told a good friend of mine, also an introvert, that sometimes I think I could just stay in my own little rich inner-world forever and be content. He said, "OK, so let's say you live your whole life in your own little rich inner-world. Great! But, so what? You lived your whole life doing that - but for what? Did it accomplish anything? Did you pass anything on? Any knowledge? Any of your wisdom? Any of your talents?"

I think the development of my inner world is important and not something I ever want to lose. But, out of that richness, needs to come *something* that improves a life or two - or else, in my opinion, it is all for not and all in vain.

 

[SerengetiBetty]

I have nothing to add but I have 2 really good INTx female friends who have expressed the same sentiment.I hope you find some peace soon

 

[Uytuun]

Sometimes I feel like I push myself out of my comfortable little world in the hopes of successfully becoming more extroverted. It seems like that is the ideal, really.. that life could just be easier if I were able to just function with a little more ease in a more outward direction.

I've been successful, at times, of really pushing myself. In the end, however, I always end up feeling completely displaced from myself, usually over some small switch in my consciousness. I get angry at the world, throw up my hands, search around me quite franticly, looking for something to grasp onto that I actually enjoy.. and end with falling into a heap on the floor.

When I pick myself up, I realize that I'm just never going to make it happen. Why is changing myself in some other direction really that important anyway? When I'm comfortable in myself, as I am, I'm happy. My inner world is a very rich one... why shove it aside in pursuit of something more?

I'm leaving this open ended for a reason..

I've managed it. Then again pushing myself and learning new skills are inherent *needs* of mine, so I may have had an easier time that way.

 

[INTJ123]

Honestly, it's hard to live outside of people's eyes at the moment. Otherwise, I'd be happy to do so and do exactly as I pleased all the time without anyone's judgement. And, whether I like it or not, people's judgements do affect me. I never can be quite certain that they aren't right until I've explored it a bit...

It just seems like extroversion is the favorable state to be in. I guess I'm learning too that I might not be meant to follow the path that looks most fun. I'm supposed to admire that path, but set my own.. and love it and nurture it and appreciate it and let it bloom.

welcome to the minority of minorities. It's an extroverted wooorld.

 

[paperoceans]

Oh...

 

[Wonkavision]

Why is changing myself in some other direction really that important anyway? When I'm comfortable in myself, as I am, I'm happy. My inner world is a very rich one... why shove it aside in pursuit of something more?

Exactly.

Personal growth means becoming the best you, not becoming like other people.


We already have all the tools we need to the best version of ourselves.

We only have to master our own tools, not the tools other people use.

 

[ring the bell]

It's just hard, ya know? Sometimes I'm very envious of the people who are able to naturally and gracefully deal with the world at large. I guess no one said life would be easy. I probably put more pressure on myself than anyone else ever could. I find myself floating on through life sometimes.... constantly pushing towards something bigger and greater, but sacrificing parts of myself along the way. I'm tired of that.

The reason why I'm in this place is that I've just begun college, for the 2nd time around. Suddenly, I'm plunged into classes with people and parties and social things and it's all kind of expected of me to be that person too. I'm just not. I end up, after weeks of going and doing and partying, feeling like I'm on a broken carousel, going way too fast. If I hang on long enough, maybe it will stop.. but I've let go so many times and been flung to who knows where.

So, I'm just telling myself right now "Stop". I have to. There's too much of me getting lost in the process.

 

[Wonkavision]

It's just hard, ya know?

It is hard.

I hear you.

So, I'm just telling myself right now "Stop". I have to.

I applaud this.

 

[Blank]

Fuck, I stopped before I even started.

Now that's tough shit. Let me tell ya.

 

[thisGuy]

Sometimes I feel like I push myself out of my comfortable little world in the hopes of successfully becoming more extroverted. It seems like that is the ideal, really.. that life could just be easier if I were able to just function with a little more ease in a more outward direction.

I've been successful, at times, of really pushing myself. In the end, however, I always end up feeling completely displaced from myself, usually over some small switch in my consciousness. I get angry at the world, throw up my hands, search around me quite franticly, looking for something to grasp onto that I actually enjoy.. and end with falling into a heap on the floor.

When I pick myself up, I realize that I'm just never going to make it happen. Why is changing myself in some other direction really that important anyway? When I'm comfortable in myself, as I am, I'm happy. My inner world is a very rich one... why shove it aside in pursuit of something more?

I'm leaving this open ended for a reason..

cuz everything that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.

i dont remember who said that; definitely wasnt me

 

[Goatman455]

Sometimes I feel like I push myself out of my comfortable little world in the hopes of successfully becoming more extroverted. It seems like that is the ideal, really.. that life could just be easier if I were able to just function with a little more ease in a more outward direction.

I've been successful, at times, of really pushing myself. In the end, however, I always end up feeling completely displaced from myself, usually over some small switch in my consciousness. I get angry at the world, throw up my hands, search around me quite franticly, looking for something to grasp onto that I actually enjoy.. and end with falling into a heap on the floor.

When I pick myself up, I realize that I'm just never going to make it happen. Why is changing myself in some other direction really that important anyway? When I'm comfortable in myself, as I am, I'm happy. My inner world is a very rich one... why shove it aside in pursuit of something more?

I'm leaving this open ended for a reason..

Wow, I always wanted to be introverted, I guess the grass is always greener, cliched but true.

 

[tinkerbell]

Responding to the OP....

MBTI's defintion of extrovert doesn't = the real worlds view of extrovert... You cna be extrovert within MBTI and still be massively introspective.

IMO I think you are pushing yourself way to hard... if you are an introvert (MBTI sense), it requires you to use up more energy to engage with people in a crowd than more otheres - therfore all you will result in is nackering yourself out, and feel socially akward and possibly get frustrated with yourself/dissapointed in yourself.

Doing what you have been doing is likely to overwhelm you. If you want to broaden your socail circles (which I suspect is the subtext), try more one to one situations... not sure if that is internet dating.

I moved out of town a few years ago, to a really communiting town, so it's had been really difficult to meet people, so I started a book club, where actually loads of xNxx have joined... this is in part because there is a web page for our district. Another alternative is internet dating... where you can meet people - maybe going for coffee very quickly so you meet the person even if you don't want to date them.

I'm an E so I'm probably not that useful