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View Poll Results: xNTx's views about having children?

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  • Female - Already have children

    2 3.85%
  • Female - Definitely want children

    5 9.62%
  • Female - Might want children

    5 9.62%
  • Female - Not sure

    1 1.92%
  • Female - Probably donít want children

    8 15.38%
  • Female - Definitely donít want children

    4 7.69%
  • Female - Canít have children

    0 0%
  • Male - Already have children

    2 3.85%
  • Male - Definitely want children

    6 11.54%
  • Male - Might want children

    8 15.38%
  • Male - Not sure

    6 11.54%
  • Male - Probably donít want children

    2 3.85%
  • Male - Definitely donít want children

    2 3.85%
  • Male - Canít have children

    1 1.92%
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Thread: Reproduction

  1. #1
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Default Reproduction

    Hi

    I was once told by a doctor friend of mine that actually there is no rational reason to want children...

    Just wondred where other NT's stand on this....

    Lis

  2. #2
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    Hi

    I was once told by a doctor friend of mine that actually there is no rational reason to want children...

    Just wondred where other NT's stand on this....

    Lis
    Rational reason to want children: to want your DNA passed on, to want an heir.

    But do you really need these things?

    It depends on the person.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  3. #3
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Just interested to see if NT's didn't want kids...

    Is having an heir rational? I'm not so sure....

  4. #4
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Can you expand a bit?

    "No rational reason" is too vague to comment on.

  5. #5
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    not really - I never said I agreed with him, just that that was the line he took, which I would think knowing him means it's like to be an emotional need. I guess he ws use to taling to infertile couples.... perhaps

    Lis

  6. #6
    @.~*virinańČo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    What NT doesn't want to raise their own army of little NT-indoctrinated clones?
    Mua ha ha ha!

    Seriously, kids are a huge commitment and reduce lifestyle flexibility and individual options. There's a lot you have to do to be stable and consistent for the sake of the kids, and a lot of energy to invest.

    But I never regretted my kids, ever. It was also an opportunity to watch people grow from the ground up -- an amazing learning experience (that part can appeal to NTs.... "so this is how it works!") -- and it also changed me to be a better person even if I didn't like the early years. There's also a big difference between child care of a baby or a toddler versus care of older kids. It was amazing to watch my kids "awake," and once they start communicating and investing in the relationship from their end, it's really sort of cool... especially now that they're autonomous individuals in their early teens.

    My INTP son and I talk about a lot of stuff, it was amazing watching his brain wake up (both his smarts and his sense of humor) when he was 4 or 5 and watching where it went over the years. It's also a nice feeling to have those deep relationships with other people because of an investment made in their lives; I might flub other relationships, but my kids and I are committed to being as close as we can.

    I don't know if parenting could ever be called a "rational" decision but it's not irrational either. It's arational.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    ‚ÄúPleasure to me is wonder‚ÄĒthe unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.‚ÄĚ ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    rational reason
    Redundant.


    The rationale for having children, the desire to have children and the having of children are pretty much unrelated.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #8
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Jennifer

    I agree with what you say, however the part about changed lifestyle/commitment/constraints might not appeal to NT's...

    It'll be interesting to see how the genders fall out

  9. #9
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Ah, okay. Within the context of an emotional setting, I can better see where he's coming from.

    As a method of psychological safety, I can see people wanting to surround themselves with other people. Can make life seem less isolated, which could reduce instances of negative emotion. What's more, working to reproduce one's "positive" traits - both physically and cognitively - can bolster a general sense of personal accomplishment and self-satisfaction.

    Flipping the coin, the urge for companionship doesn't necessarily have to include reproduction for satiety (if one even feels the urge at all). Companionate behavior is an instinctive desire; possibly an ancestral leftover intended to hedge our bets for survivial against an unfamiliar environment. That said, it varies from person to person.

    Is either a rational response? Sure. Why not. "Rational" is kind of an oblique term that could encompass almost any behavior, depending on one's goals and incentives in life.

  10. #10
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    Hi

    I was once told by a doctor friend of mine that actually there is no rational reason to want children...

    Just wondred where other NT's stand on this....

    Lis
    I don't think there are any rational reasons for having or wanting kids. The reasons are all either biological/biochemical (pre-programed) or emotional (or accidental). Those reasons could easily be rationalized, but that does not mean that they are logical. Maybe if you were a king or queen you'd be obligated to have at least one kid (I think), but obligations aren't always logical either. Maybe there are special circumstances that could argue in favor of having kids, in a logical fashion - don't know what they are yet but I'd imagine it'd have something to do with death and having someone to take care of whats left, or whatever (but that wouldn't be fair to that kid, I'd rather sell..) On my scale, the cons of having kids outweighs the pros by tons. At least when it comes to rational motivation. Having kids just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I always ask WHY? Why, or what are the reasons for having kids? Anything besides "just cause". The closest thing to having kids, for me, is adoption. That makes way more sense to me, and if I were to adopt, I'd do it way later in my life when I know it'll be worth it. Also, it seems kind of selfish to have kids (would you be doing anybody any good by having kids?). But on the other hand, maybe I'm too selfish (and too young) to have kids. It all boils down to whether you want kids, or not. If you want kids, the reasons for having kids are rational, if you don't want kids, the reasons for not wanting kids are rational.

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