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Thread: INTP Rage

  1. #11
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Yes, I open up to people about a great many things. And sometimes, in order to "bare my soul" (yeah, it is that "diarist" thing), I probably reveal too much to the public and occasionally get my feelings hurt.

    I simply haven't found the same experience you have. I can count on two hands the number of people in my life who have purposefully tried to exploit me (if that many).

    The rest of the time, people have been decent and trustworthy; or else they've simply been human and made some mistakes but were willing to rectify things and at worst retreat to a "neutral" or "live and let live" stance.

    So I cannot really explain why you've had a completely different set of experiences. I can't tell you whether you are simply in a different social setting where the people are less trustworthy; or whether your approach/attitude is negatively impacting their reactions/treatment of you; or whether you judge people far too harshly as to what "taking advantage of you" means (or I judge them not harshly enough); or whatever else we can conjecture. There are so many possibilities for this, and probably it is a combination of things.

    Still, my locus of control has shifted over the years from outside of me to inside of me. Put in simple terms, people only hurt me if I allow them to. So I can feel free to be honest and open with people, and if someone reacts poorly, well, I do not need to choose to allow fear of that to control my life. It's their loss, not mine. And the rest is just emotional hurt, which most of the time goes away.

    I refuse to allow others to keep me in a box and not expose myself and be alive.

    EDIT: Anyway, don't let my comments stop you from venting and getting it all out.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #12
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    The only INTP rage I exhibit is the anger and frustration felt when I can't grasp a concept. Nothing else makes me as angry as this.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonJT View Post
    The only INTP rage I exhibit is the anger and frustration felt when I can't grasp a concept. Nothing else makes me as angry as this.
    What if I or someone else for no reason hit you in the face?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Yes, I open up to people about a great many things. And sometimes, in order to "bare my soul" (yeah, it is that "diarist" thing), I probably reveal too much to the public and occasionally get my feelings hurt.

    I simply haven't found the same experience you have. I can count on two hands the number of people in my life who have purposefully tried to exploit me (if that many).

    The rest of the time, people have been decent and trustworthy; or else they've simply been human and made some mistakes but were willing to rectify things and at worst retreat to a "neutral" or "live and let live" stance.

    So I cannot really explain why you've had a completely different set of experiences. I can't tell you whether you are simply in a different social setting where the people are less trustworthy; or whether your approach/attitude is negatively impacting their reactions/treatment of you; or whether you judge people far too harshly as to what "taking advantage of you" means (or I judge them not harshly enough); or whatever else we can conjecture. There are so many possibilities for this, and probably it is a combination of things.

    Still, my locus of control has shifted over the years from outside of me to inside of me. Put in simple terms, people only hurt me if I allow them to. So I can feel free to be honest and open with people, and if someone reacts poorly, well, I do not need to choose to allow fear of that to control my life. It's their loss, not mine. And the rest is just emotional hurt, which most of the time goes away.

    I refuse to allow others to keep me in a box and not expose myself and be alive.

    EDIT: Anyway, don't let my comments stop you from venting and getting it all out.
    A little of everything I suppose. But I want to make it clear that I am in no way the victim. I have just observed what happens when I have let people in. Fuck, the idea of letting people in is absurd. I dated this INFJ and told her I didn't want to know how many guys she had humped. She concurred. Why do I want to know that one of my girl friend's b/f used to rob and threaten people's lives for money? Shit like that should stay quiet. Do you think I trust that guy? Hell no. Every time I am around him, I am ready for something to go down. Anyone who wants to go around robbing and fucking with people like that isn't the kind of person I want to be around. And how judgemental of me right? Gee, I have flaws too. Yeah, of course I do but I don't go around threatening to kill people for 10 dollars.

    All I know is that people are capable of so very much. They will rob you, lie to you, rape you, murder you, cut you up, wear your face on their head, double dip and the list goes on.

  5. #15
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schizm View Post
    What if I or someone else for no reason hit you in the face?
    That evokes an instinctive defense/fear reaction. I don't know about INTP's, but I would probably respond by either fleeing, or punching back, and my first emotional reaction would be panic and fear. After that point, my fear/self-preservational instinct would make me want to defend myself against the perceived threat. So I would probably try to have them arrested, killed, or hide myself from them, basically do whatever it took to keep them from hurting me again.

    True anger would most likely result from from a sense of betrayal... which I guess is one possible interpretation of a sudden punch, but I wouldn't be thinking about that until I was safe. Difficulty understanding something would be frustration, not anger. Anger at not getting something results from the idea that you deserved whatever it was that you didn't get. Anger about something that happened to you results from the idea that you didn't deserve what happened to you. Frustration results from the inability to achieve something, or get past an obstacle. Actually... here's an idea:

    Anger --- Betrayal (of self/group by other(s))
    Guilt --- Betrayal (by yourself of other(s))
    Sadness --- Loss (of self/group)
    Victory --- Loss (of other(s))
    Happiness --- Gain (of self/group)
    Jealousy --- Gain (of other(s))
    Fear --- Threat (to self/group)
    Opportunity/Advantage --- Threat (to other(s))
    Trust --- Risk (of self/group for other(s))
    Compassion --- Risk (of other(s) for self/group)
    Sympathy/Alliance --- Identification of a subset of other(s) with self/group in some way.
    Love --- Established reciprocal relationships between Trust, Compassion, and Sympathy/Alliance, resulting in Gain.
    Hate --- Established reciprocal relationships between Fear, Anger, and Sadness, resulting in Loss.

    Note that other(s) can be a thing or an idea as well as a person.

    Does that make sense? I admit it might be too abstract...

  6. #16
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    I guess I'm lucky.
    I've got a group of friends and I've known most of them for about 10 years. There are lots of people in my life that I've let in and that I'm glad I did. I've pretty much stuck with those people because over the years they've proved themselves to me again and again.
    Any bad eggs among my friends were weeded out pretty quickly.
    I think that ensuring that you surround yourself with decent people and thus avoid being screwed over by someone you trusted is a matter of personal responsibility. And if someone I'm friends with has another friend that I don't trust, I ask that friend not to bring them around.
    There are people who are capable of all kinds of horrible crap, that's true. But there's also people who are capable of incredibly good things as well.
    And which of those groups you chose to hang around with is really your own responsibility.

  7. #17
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    It sounds to me like you feel like you aren't in control, so you overcompensate with anger.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    It sounds to me like you feel like you aren't in control, so you overcompensate with anger.
    Can you expound on this?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schizm View Post
    Can you expound on this?
    I'll try.

    It seems to me that most of my anger (which isn't very often) comes about whenever I'm not really in control of the things or people around me. It's like a survival/self-defense mechanism...the biological differences are obvious when you become angry. It's simply a matter of feeling uncomfortable (which to me...is when I feel like I'm not in control).

    Your original post appears to be based on a specific thing that happened to you (although, I could be wrong). I can only assume that someone that you liked/trusted did something to you or reacted to you in a way that you didn't expect and didn't like, so you are reacting with anger.

    I used to get angry a lot...now I pretty much only get angry when someone disrespects/embarrasses me. Let's say (hypothetically, of course) that I bare-knuckle boxed a couple of years ago. When I realized that it really wasn't all that bad, I started to feel far more comfortable everywhere. I wasn't afraid to fight because I wasn't afraid to lose and I knew that the chances of losing were slim anyways because I'm willing to do anything for myself and those that are important to me. As an INTP, I'm sure you can identify with at least part of that.

    I saw a quote once that said something to the extent of, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, because I am the evilest mother fucker that ever walked through the valley."

    Does any of that help you? Maybe not, but that's my thoughts on anger. Standing up for yourself isn't just about being physical. It can be emotional too. If you don't feel comfortable opening up to people, let them know that. If they can't accept it, that's their problem. If you don't like people dumping their emotional baggage on you, stop listening. I've got more examples if you don't understand entirely where I am coming from.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schizm View Post
    What if I or someone else for no reason hit you in the face?
    I've never been in a fist fight, but I'm usually physically passive and diffuse tense situations with words and/or my somewhat intimidating 210 pound 5'11" frame.

    Only once in my life have I ever experienced INTP like rage in a physically combative situation. That was on the football field in high school. I ran a kid over while doing drills and gave him a serious concussion.
    The reason for this is probably two fold. One, I've never been put in a situation where a serious fist fight was at hand. And two, it takes a lot to put me in a raging mood.

    Hypothetically if I was to get hit, I would fight back. The intensity would depend completely on the situation though.


    Sometimes, I wish I would get angry over more situations. I would have been a far better athlete on the football field.

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