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  1. #1
    Senior Member therationaledge's Avatar
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    Default Defining people as 'Locks', Insulting?

    I once told my girlfriend that I saw getting the truth or information out of people like opening a lock

    Kind the right key, and apply the right amount of pressure, and whula!

    She kinda got insulted, saying I shouldn't view people as locks to open.

    Is what I did actually offensive? (I have my own opnion but am interested in what you all think)
    "You would lose your money," Sherlock Holmes remarked calmly. "As for the article I wrote it myself."

    "You!"

    "Yes, I have a turn both for observation and for deduction. The theories which I have expressed there, and which appear to you to be so chimerical are really extremely practical -- so practical that I depend upon them for my bread and cheese."

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    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    lol. Shes either overly sensitive or she has something against locks.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  3. #3
    Senior Member therationaledge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    lol. Shes either overly sensitive or she has something against locks.
    Or John Locke.

    Or Lost

    Or Knives

    Or Killing Boars

    Or Swine flu lol


    No its more the fact that i do not view humans in a romanticized/idealised way at all.

    Im the guy who said "My love for you is a wave of seratonin washing over my brain until it is later replaced by oxytocin, (other wise my brain would melt,) and after that I will be totally and completelly physiccally addicted to you!.........I LOVE YOU!"

    Yeah...thats me.

    EDIT: My gf is ISFJ, i think, and my ENFP friend also got irked with me.
    "You would lose your money," Sherlock Holmes remarked calmly. "As for the article I wrote it myself."

    "You!"

    "Yes, I have a turn both for observation and for deduction. The theories which I have expressed there, and which appear to you to be so chimerical are really extremely practical -- so practical that I depend upon them for my bread and cheese."

  4. #4

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    Perhaps she thought you were objectifying people. Supposing there's a person in question who doesn't wish to reveal any information, lest it be too personal or such, then the phrasing can come across in the wrong light, in the sense that you might care less about the person than the piece of information.

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    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Grin, I can see her point.
    You basically just told that you view people as an obstacle that you enjoy getting past and that it's not the person that counts, but the information.

    I take it she an..NF? To us, it's people that matter, and it's disrespectful to ignore the person and give priority to something over someone. You'll have to explain her that even if your interest lies in the information peope contain, you will be treating the lock like a beautiful antique in the process as you value what it contains dearly, as well as its beauty

    Also, most likely...it subconsciously made her feel like a means to an end to you. You're supposed to love her for who she is..not for the services/information she can provide. It's unnerving to think that your boyfriend might consider you as such, even if you *know* in your heart that you are most likely an exception
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  6. #6
    Senior Member therationaledge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by veins View Post
    Perhaps she thought you were objectifying people. Supposing there's a person in question who doesn't wish to reveal any information, lest it be too personal or such, then the phrasing can come across in the wrong light, in the sense that you might care less about the person than the piece of information.
    Probably. Sometimes I DO view information as more important than someones feelings, depending on the situation.

    Im sure everyone could think of a real life situation like that.

    (Plus everyone seems to be on this shtick that i think im superior to everyone, which is stupid. I am highly flawed and would absorb many of the charistics of my friends if I could. I think its just a pile of things like this probably)

    EDIT: ANd its hard to put it romantically lol when in the pat ive also said "sometimes its like mining for gold with a pickaxe"

    Hard to make that sound pretty, though to be honest I have also been able to bring alot of people to the point where they can admit the past and move on...stuff like that
    "You would lose your money," Sherlock Holmes remarked calmly. "As for the article I wrote it myself."

    "You!"

    "Yes, I have a turn both for observation and for deduction. The theories which I have expressed there, and which appear to you to be so chimerical are really extremely practical -- so practical that I depend upon them for my bread and cheese."

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    Senior Member wank's Avatar
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    lol, blatant objectification gets to a lot people,...
    Something about conflict aversion(blunt is bad?), not being willing to simplify others due to subconsciously recognizing others as projections, and an ego unwilling to part with the fascination of itself.

    Expectation leads to disappointment. She did this to herself, you were a catalyst, hehe.
    Everyone is a case study.

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    No. I don't see anything wrong with that statement.

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    Quote Originally Posted by therationaledge View Post
    I once told my girlfriend that I saw getting the truth or information out of people like opening a lock

    Kind the right key, and apply the right amount of pressure, and whula!

    She kinda got insulted, saying I shouldn't view people as locks to open.

    Is what I did actually offensive? (I have my own opnion but am interested in what you all think)
    You goof.
    You actually SAID this to someone out loud?
    Especially someone you were in an LTR with?

    Many people hate that.
    They feel they're reduced to objects in your view.

    I got burned badly any time I made a comment in similar style to anyone, so I quickly learned it wasn't worth it unless I knew they could handle it.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by therationaledge View Post
    Probably. Sometimes I DO view information as more important than someones feelings, depending on the situation.

    Im sure everyone could think of a real life situation like that.

    (Plus everyone seems to be on this shtick that i think im superior to everyone, which is stupid. I am highly flawed and would absorb many of the charistics of my friends if I could. I think its just a pile of things like this probably)

    EDIT: ANd its hard to put it romantically lol when in the pat ive also said "sometimes its like mining for gold with a pickaxe"

    Hard to make that sound pretty, though to be honest I have also been able to bring alot of people to the point where they can admit the past and move on...stuff like that
    I can see where you're coming from. If there's someone whom you hardly know at all, then that person's feeling will weigh less than the information which you will hold in higher regard if it's information that you're seeking. Given the situation, like you mentioned. I didn't answer the question to this thread yet, which is, I don't find what you said to be offensive. It's just an analogy, comparing the extraction of information to opening a lock. Although, I can see how your girlfriend can construe it to be an offensive comment, as mentioned before.

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