Jen
Why do you want a 3rd INTJ?
what happened to the last two.
The second one - well, I was wrapped up in him a lot more than I was willing to admit at the time. But all he wanted to do was change me. He hated the fact that I wore heels all the time, he hated that I would jump to run out the door when my phone rang. He hated that I always have people staying at my house. I guess he just didn't like me.
I fell for the third one, not because he was an INTJ, just because he was cool as shit. I think I intimidated him by moving things along too fast. Which I still can't see, but I respect his opinion nonetheless. We never dated. It basically came down to that he didn't realize I was hitting on him in a real way and he was not ready for it. So, in other words, he didn't like me either.
The first, I wrote about in a post (click on quote and also read the subsequent posts...):
I like INTJs a lot and enjoy their sense of humor. Very dry. The only things I don't like, which I've mentioned a million times before, is the dismissiveness when they think you are wrong and the way they attack your character, rather than the argument. Not a fan. But everything else is a-ok.
Speaking of showers... I dated an INTJ once and it was taking a very long time before we got, um, intimate. One day as I was getting into the shower, he asked if he could watch. I thought that this was it, and was overjoyed. He told me to pretend as if he wasn't there and to just shower from start to finish the way I normally do. Ok, whatever. So I took my usual shower and he just sat there and watched. I was a bit disappointed, but didn't judge - people are into a variety of things.
I didn't hear from him for the next two days. He then appeared at my door with a powerpoint presentation of how I can make more efficient use of my time in the shower - so I can finally be on time when we have plans. Hmpf.
Basically, none of these men liked me. I don't know why I would want to try again. Maybe masochism? Maybe because there are so many other redeeming qualities - the humor, the devilish glint, the intelligence, the everything?? But at the end of the day, I know it probably won't work. Incidentally, these are the only men that have ever rejected me, so take that for what it's worth - it's most likely masochism.
I think female NT assertiveness is such because NTs in general abhor sacrificing any ounce of individuality, and hate censoring themselves "just because." NT females may face more resistance because they're girls and NTs typically ignore gender roles. It isn't as much a power play as it is just being unapologetic in being themselves.
Probably also the reason the girls seem more assertive than the guys, they just need to expend more effort jumping over the societal hurdles.
Again, you hit it out of the park. I'm impressed, my dear Robin. Now, shine up the batmobile for me, will ya?
