[ENTP] The ENTP shrug?

[entropie]

Man thats a lot. I'ld have answered all 4 questions with beer! But that's even better, tho I admit I havent read it :/

Want a beer too ?

 

[Amargith]

1) I can be very stubborn when I feel I've been wronged. I will, in my head, go through the 'fuck them' script and mentally discard them from my life, only to have them reach out, we talk it out, and all is forgotten. I don't hold grudges unless you have wronged a dear loved one, or tried to manipulate/use me. Then, I'm focusing on setting up the steps to best deliver my 'poetic justice' to said person.

2)-3) IGNORE! Cut off the very context that allows him the reaction of shunning in the first place. He knows his position within the company, and the asset that he is, if he is an unhealthy ENTP, he is getting off on seeing so many people get their panties in a knot through his assholish behaviour. It feeds into his ego that he's causing such a domino effect. Stop feeding the beast.

Give the most minimal feedback to him and his ideas when presented in such a deliberately rude manner. And, give positive reinforcement once after a few of such 'misses', he starts warming up (i.e. appealing to their logic, in a way that feeds their ego/affirmation of their ideas). Do not try to tell him why being polite, etc., will work in his favour. The very act of telling him, will make his unhealthy self rebel. Let him 'find out' for himself (and guide that process). Also, being polite as a means to an end is more (than likely) the ENTP's (unhealthy) cup of tea, hence, only end result consequences will work.

Finally, if he's a true ENTP, he will need that external feedback, things to bounce ideas off of, direct you OWN behaviour so that you engage that Ne of his ONLY when he's not a prick, otherwise, offer him silence. Take his idea with barely a nod, and just implement, no other positive reinforcement (it will make him realize the parallel of why when he receives a work from another, without acknowledging their effort, may seem harsh).

I.e., allow him to modify his own behaviour (be a guide only as far as you modifying your own behaviour accordingly to allow him a clear cut negative verses positive reinforcement), do not put your hand in the lion's den, you will come away more harshly bitten, in your aims to soothe and pet, than you went in.

4) Get the team to follow through not appeasing him. When his feedback loop is depleted and he associates that as a consequence of his own decorum/behaviour (repeated trials giving same results - reliability testing), he will change his ways, or leave. Either way, it's not going to do any good trying to get an unhealthy ENTP balanced through others intervening, we're fiercely independent, and we smell 'manipulation' like a lion smells blood. It will not end well.

Control your own feedback you give him in the direction that you want the change. I know being Ne+Fi, it's sometimes hard not to intervene in making someone better their inter-personal relationships for the greater good of all, but, cut yourself and your own motivations out of it. You will be much more successful in helping him. Otherwise, he will quickly tire of your 'giving good advice' ways.

a) Absolutely loved your post

b) This is...creepy. You could find this kind of text ( in some places verbatum) in my animal behavioral therapy course...I'm NOT kidding. It's..utterly surreal


Q, you rock and thank you for this

 

[CJ99]

Stop trying to help him.

Tell him what you want done. When, where, How and why!

And make sure you say the why its the part that will motivate him if hes knows the logic behind it.

 

[CzeCze]

You're trying to turn someone into a performing monkey... respect his differences.

Even if he doesn't respect others differences? Even if he's causing huge problems for himself as well as others at work with unprofessional behavior and personal beef?

It's one thing to give people room and support to do well as themselves within an organization (whether it's school, work, volunteer groups) but nobody is so special they get carte blanche to be toxic and just straight up assholes.

i think you are missing something. dont know what, but something.

...

you better be sure 110% sure that he is sincere. once your sure, check again

And him thanking her for the advice seems like a play to manipulate her and get her to fight his battles for him. Sending the good cop in on your behalf... Watch your back, Monster. He doesn't seem genuine.

Yeah, make sure in your attempts to save a sinking ship you aren't getting played, you're so focused on how to turn this guy around that you can easily miss the bigger picture (ironic?)


Ne-Monster, I'm very interested to hear how this all turns out. And you are one patient woman! Damn. And I concur - no one is irreplaceable.

I wrote this long response but realized Qr:us summed it up well. Don't reward bad behavior.

You don't need to know his type to get that he is very well aware of how "valuable" he is. We've all encountered people acting out - they will continue to act out until they get checked. Until people learn there are real negative and irreparable consequences to their actions, you give them no reason to change. And even then. Some people are just self/destructive and you can't help or fix those that don't want it.

 

[Synarch]

Don't even try to tell them what to do. It doesn't work, even if you are trying to tell them what to do because if they don't do it, they will suffer consequences. They would rather suffer the consequences than feel like they are being bossed.

I used to be like this, but sometimes I now go along with people just to fuck with their heads. I hate being predictable and just refusing to do what you're told to do is predictable. So, sometimes I decline easy requests and other times I fulfill difficult requests. Always keep them guessing.

See how they get riled at even the prospect of one of their kind being told what to do? :-D

I think you mess with their intuition when you try to control them, and without it, they are destabilized.

Interesting theory. It's more that it forces our decision-making as to how to respond to overt control and I hate making decisions.

He needs a secretary.

Man, I would give my left arm for a full time secretary. Think of all the things I could get done.

 

[sculpting]

thanks all for the feedback and advice. You guys are totally right on this one.

I emailed him and explained that a friend told me I was being rude and I would no longer offer him advice with respect to others and his interactions, since he likely found that to be intrusive, however I was certain the projects would move forward successfully.

I am going to withdraw and cut as many ties as possible to these projects. I dont have time to deal with people like him. There are too many folks I work with who are honest, rational, work very hard and have families to care for at home, for me to waste time dealing with a person who cant cope with the simpliest bits of feedback.

I am sure his work will proceed nicely and be a success. He does have quite a track record of success...

 

[jenocyde]

Take care of yourself first, Monster.

 

[tinkerbell]

Even if he doesn't respect others differences? Even if he's causing huge problems for himself as well as others at work with unprofessional behavior and personal beef?

No get a grip, what we've been hearing is a very thinly vield monalogue of someone who is trying to force their way onto someone else. Which is funnier still because what has been reported as his response - sounds as if it might be patronising her (which is piss funny if it is because shes not joined those up). It's the whole "I'll humour you so you will just go away".

This guy is actually doing his job - or he would be fired. He sounds good and frustrated with a bunch of people who are less creative than he is. Is he arrogant/annoying yes - but so are many people in big business.

If you actually read what has been said by Ne - there is a thin value of "I'm a do-gooder, and I love ENTP's which gives me justification for my actions". Most of all she has appointed herself some sort of self appointed therapist - which is just a wee bit pathetic - the whole behavioural modification. She's not his boss, she is just opinionated product manager and making a right pigs ear of it.

It's taken her a long while on this thread to actually consider that she may not be doing the right thing depsite a variety of people saying quite specifically (and in my case quite forcably), she was barking up the wrong tree - sometimes NF's just don't want to hear their course of non stoppable action aint the way to go.

Loved the whole rant about Narcassisim - which I beleive is largely the absence of empahty... funny how much of the thread doesn't seem to have come from his perspective and is just a dress up pygmalion project.

If he is a pain in the ass, deal with it, he is doing his job, even if he is annoying, it's a small company, to be honest he sounds like areally valuable player - given that he seems to should a creative burden larger than other peoples - respect what he does and appreciate that he is human and flawed.

F-type do going has it's place but understand doing good looks different for different types.

 

[sculpting]

I used to be like this, but sometimes I now go along with people just to fuck with their heads. I hate being predictable and just refusing to do what you're told to do is predictable. So, sometimes I decline easy requests and other times I fulfill difficult requests. Always keep them guessing. .

So I am going to pick a tiny bit here. Not at you Synarch as I seem to recall you work independently and you seem like a really cool guy, but the comment above is a useful place to bounce off of-again please dont be offended personally, as you seem cool and nothing like my three entps who are unhealthy.

A project starts in a feasibility stage with about ten folks on the team. We spend six months here working as a team but with the technical leads-the entps in this case, having massive freedom and minimally tapping into other folks for resources.

We then move into development where the project team expands to 100 to 150 folks in about six departments. These folks are spending upwards of 80% of their day following the direction of project managers and the project goals established by the technical leads-the entps. The goal is to take the feasibility results and translate into a product we can sell. Development can last upwards of one to three years depending upon the complexity of the project. The last portion of this is extensive validation and testing of the product to make sure it meets all the requirements and can perform as intended.

We then have to transfer the developed design into the manufacturing area, and prove we can make it reporducibly.

Now imagine throughout this three year process if folks are doing what you described above-playing games or as many of the other posts indicated, rebelling just becasue they dont like being told what to do. Imagine if you have five percent of your group doing this...twenty percent...thirty percent....

We are likely close to 15% I would guess between the games the unhealthy entps play and the the passive agressive behaviors the ISTJs can exhibit.

This kills me. The reason is that while I typically lead with NeTeFi, Ne gives vision. I can NeTe "see" the delays being added all across schedules and timelines, and what extra work that will mean my folks at the bottom will end up having to do.

I can NeFi "feel" the stress, worries, anxiety, misery, loss of morale, and lack of incentive to keep working that will ripple across the whole company. I can "feel" how miserable they will be, how they will spend late nights and weekends working to catch up and not spend time with thier families, how they will hate to come to work everyday, and how the useful folks will leave.

So sort of like the butterfly/hurricane effect-what starts as one person not wanting to be told what to do, when compounded, can become a massive drain on an entire organization.

Take care of yourself first, Monster.

you were right. why did I doubt you?

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Even if he doesn't respect others differences? Even if he's causing huge problems for himself as well as others at work with unprofessional behavior and personal beef?

No personal beefs here. See --><-- happy!! Even happier after coffee and cinnamon crunch bagel.

 

[sculpting]

so, while on the topic of ENTPs in corporate america,

1) the topic makes me drink, tonight, much wine, an dmore wine to come.
2) I think you guys are so blissfully happy in independent careers, consulting, running your own show, I would advise all of you wonderful young entps to pursue these chances whenever you can. I adore my entps. Dont get stuck with the crazy people I work with. My god, they are crazy. and stupid. me too, I am retarded. Run away from this shit. fucking crazy....

so anyways, for those of you who decide to...

Girl ENTPs are so..so.. normal, which seems odd, but they set my benchmark for what a reasonable normal woman is-no emo, no nonsense, practical, imaginative, smart as hell, productive, all around awesome. I have very few where I work, but one is my utter all time favorite entp in the universe. I tried to convince her we should get married but we both likes guys plus she said she would pick an INFJ girl over me...

So something she observed-not me-for once save your hate for a fellow entp..

entp men get kinda odd as they get old. 9/9 is a total wack so ignore him for this example-though he does the same thing.

Even my really heathly, really awesome, male entps start to do this odd thing as they get older-over 40-we have seven out of 400 folks. They will not directly confront issues head-on. They become ultra worried about pissing thier bosses off. They will do anything to avoid directly confronting thier boss with bad news.

At best this means they sort of skirt around the issue, and very gently raise the topic, or just hint at it. They will also strictly follow corporate hierchy, and never dream of skipping over thier boss, and always go up the layers before requesting resources from other departments. Downwards they will are more normal but going upwards they are very pensive. They have way too much respect for thier elders. WTF????

At worst, they ignore serious issues or in 4.5M's case blantantly lie, to avoid confrontation. This means horrific problems can be brewing and nobody knows...

At first I argued with my entp-this couldnt be right-ENTPs fight conforming right, so what the hell? But then I realized she was right... Every damned one of them does this...

Today it came to a head when an entp guy I actually like alot, had let an issue with an instrument specification slide for months rather than confront the fact it was incorrect, by meeting with the folks just down the hall. It needs to be adjusted, isnt a "real" issue, but instead of head on confrontation to address the issue, he just let it slide, kept building stuff and then scrapping it. It was the most illogical thing I have ever seen.

We are both pulling our hair out at this point. My Te stood up, looked around, and proceeded to kick him in the fucking ass. On this note I think another reason entps should never ever date enfps is likely that tert Te tolerates little bullshit, and when it comes out can be a flaming beast from hell. It doesnt mix well with tert Fe, I am afraid.

what the hell???

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

time for some more wine....

 

[professor goodstain]

May i recommend

 

[sculpting]

help me prof i cannot see your graphic.
perhaps that os hgood>

 

[professor goodstain]

crap
try this Image, Photos for Tempranillo Bodegas Ramon Bilbao Rioja Reserva 2001

 

[jenocyde]

Today it came to a head when an entp guy I actually like alot, had let an issue with an instrument specification slide for months rather than confront the fact it was incorrect, by meeting with the folks just down the hall. It needs to be adjusted, isnt a "real" issue, but instead of head on confrontation to address the issue, he just let it slide, kept building stuff and then scrapping it. It was the most illogical thing I have ever seen.

Again, it's just a matter of avoiding things we don't feel like dealing with. It happens to all types in different ways. No excuses, though.

We are both pulling our hair out at this point. My Te stood up, looked around, and proceeded to kick him in the fucking ass. On this note I think another reason entps should never ever date enfps is likely that tert Te tolerates little bullshit, and when it comes out can be a flaming beast from hell. It doesnt mix well with tert Fe, I am afraid.

I think the opposite. The few times the ENFP Te kicks in is nowhere near the amount of times the NeFi runs amok. Most ENFPs I know are not as disciplined or as strong Te users as you might be, and I spend most days trying to reign it in and keep them focused. But I agree that the ENFP/ENTP relationship is not the most ideal, romantically. But I love it in every other way.

 

[tinkerbell]

if they are over 40 they are in a different phase of their career. Roughly speaking earlier career is all about building technical skills, earning trust and being seen to be compotent.

Middle bit typcally is manging teams and getting the best out of them.

Latter career in a corporate environment is about playing a higher level of policts. which has different credibility stakes.

yes there are politics at all levels but it comes all consuming at board level.

 

[sculpting]

crap
try this Image, Photos for Tempranillo Bodegas Ramon Bilbao Rioja Reserva 2001

ah, how delightfu! I expected a hysterical, sarcastic image after my wine induced rant however instead you brought me a spanish red. I love spanish wines!

Thanks much, my sweet delight! I'll see if I can find it round these parts. VM any other good suggestions-I tend to pick at random from the spanish section, so it is very trial and error.

 

[sculpting]

Again, it's just a matter of avoiding things we don't feel like dealing with. It happens to all types in different ways. No excuses, though.


I think the opposite. The few times the ENFP Te kicks in is nowhere near the amount of times the NeFi runs amok. Most ENFPs I know are not as disciplined or as strong Te users as you might be, and I spend most days trying to reign it in and keep them focused. But I agree that the ENFP/ENTP relationship is not the most ideal, romantically. But I love it in every other way.

Yup, I think so, he is really a cool guy. He is building his own personal submarine and is fun to talk to. My company may have in fact legitemately crushed his particular soul, as he has been around awhile. His boss just emailed me apologizing as he had no idea what was going on. I feel bad having to get the guy in trouble, but we all have to be accountable on some level and I am hearing it on the back end from all my estp sales force. We will sort it out in the end.

I think it is an issue at large-the best entps are the ones at the top. There they are awesome.

I am going to start a thread over in fluffy land about ENFP leaders and executives. I think there are sex differences at work here and age seems to play a factor as well. Also responsibility towards others-we feel it heavily and feel huge obligations to those we interact with. Oddly enough, the more people that are depending on us, the less NeFi stupid we seem to be.

Part of what really throws other folks-and perhaps even each other with ENXPs, is the facets/masks that we present. We have different faces and dealing with that can make it hard to predict what we are doing or why. I think the ESXPs do it too as I have watched my esfp sister and her estp boyfriend. Over the phone I can predict exactly the problems she is having and explain how to avoid some of them. Tert Fe/Te conflicts are an issue there as well. Makes it great fun to Ne play, and a good complement in friendship or work, but when we fight, oh I think it can be nasty.

happy saturday!

 

[Katsuni]

AHA so I'm not the only one who just shrugs when I get pissy >.>;;

Still there are a few issues here, and one of the foremost is yeur automatic assumption that he's broken and needs to be 'fixed'.


Now, going by whot yeu've said, I'd assume that for the most part this isn't a big deal, except for when it immediately affects work. The biggest thing to realize though, is that an ENTP generally will need time alone doing something they enjoy to distract themselves. Rarely do they hold a grudge for any length of time, but it will last indefinately until they can get their mind off it. Trying to force the matter will NOT work EVER.

I'll use myself as an example, as it's always the easiest way to do things XD

Personally, if I get upset over something, I will maintain my frustration at it for an infinite period of time, until either A: I manage to confront it head on and proove myself its' better, or B: distract myself long enough with something else that I stop thinking about it. The biggest problem, is that trying to distract oneself when something's gnawing at yeu, is difficult... just 'forgetting' it for a few minutes isn't enough, because the second something jogs yeur memory, yeu're back on it and frustrated again. The frustration usually lasts a few hours and there's really absolutely nothing anyone can do. Any interaction with anyone will inevitably lead to them trying to help on the subject, or getting annoyed that the ENTP isn't being very friendly at the moment or just leaving. Any and all of these are terrible resolutions, as going "oh well guess yeu don't want to talk, I'll see yeu later" is immediately viewed as abandonment, any call on being in a bad mood just reminds them to the reason for the bad mood and reaffirms it, and anything which involves trying to change things will be met with digging their heels in and being obstinate about it out of spite because they're probably already annoyed that someone didn't value their opinion, directly translating into belief they didn't care for the individual themselves.

Obviously, this isn't the case, but hei, we're not talking about common sense, it's an emotional thing, of which ENTP's generally aren't great with anyway, which only complicates matters.

The only thing I've ever found to work for myself is to watch 'intelligent' tv(really, it exists... sort of...), or play a game, or SOMETHING, the worst possible thing to do is to do something yeu don't enjoy, or try to relax. It won't work. It has to engage the mind fully and focus all my attention upon it, until I'm practically in a trancelike state for putting so much thought and focus on the idea. This more or less seems to clear the slate by removing all thought from the previous issue and directing the hostile energy elsewhere, pouring all effort into the current situation.

If for any reason, this's interrupted at all, before complete focus has been achieved, then it has to be started all over again from scratch, since the mind'll immediately jump back to whot was causing the problem in the first place.

Now then... the direct questions.



1) Does this sound familiar?
Not in that exact way, but yes very familiar.

2) how can we get him to relax the defensive barrier once built?
This's a bit more complex than yeu'd think... it's not a standard defensive barrier that lasts until it's broken down. It's a nigh-indestructable short term wall, it can NOT be damaged externally no matter whot anyone tries. Any attempt to prod, poke, or help will only reinforce it, making it take longer to be removed. Yeu can NOT interfere with it.

Likewise, this isn't an infinitely existing barrier either... it can be removed quite easily, but it must be done by getting the individual to focus their attention fully on something they want to do; the barrier is held togeather by their own sense of spite and annoyance, as soon as their attention is elsewhere, it weakens. When 100% of their attention is busy on another topic, it's gone, and nothing left. If yeu direct them to do something though, there'll be a slight taken to it, and it'll never be a true 100% attention... yeu may be able to get 90%, but as long as 10% of their attention is focused on their annoyance that yeu told them to do it, they'll never truly get involved into it to the point that it clears the wall. Even if this imaginary wall is knocked to the foundation, as long as there's even a few crumbled rocks left, the second they glance back at it, it rises back to full strength immediately. The only way to kill it is to have it gone entirely. That means no interruptions, no emails, no checking up on them, and no interaction of any sort which will draw their attention away from whotever it is they're doing.

On the other hand, this also requires that the ENTP will need to know that this is pretty much the only cure (at least the only one I've ever found, and trust me I've TRIED). They need to recognize this for themselves, because it's something they themselves have to initiate and do. If yeu try to trick them into doing it, it'll only cause it to backfire every time. I know yeu want to help, but anything yeu say and do only furthers the problem.

Fortunately, this's a rather useful thing as well... as soon as yeur problematic ENTP knows of this issue, and the resolution, it works pretty much every time consistantly and reliably. Yeu will only ever have to discuss this with them ONCE. Yeu will, however, have to do so at a time when it's not bothering them, because they won't listen when they're upset. If yeu can catch them at a time that they're in a good mood, or even better, in a debating mood, yeu can get them to explore this as an option. Once they know whot they have to do and take it to heart, they can initiate the issue on their own side. Then it's just a matter of when they get pissy, to leave them alone for a few hours, and they'll be fine after they're done.

In short though, this will require one major component: uninterrupted peace, from EVERYTHING. If they have to eat, go to the washroom, perform any mandatory tasks, or anything that interrupts them, they'll have to start over from scratch basically. Make sure they know to take care of everything before they begin. Then, make sure there's something they WANT to do that will take 100% of their attention to do. They'll probably need a fair bit of time in this focused state, roughly about an hour. The trouble is getting to the focused state in the first place, and then maintaining it without interruption. As such, the cure generally takes 5-6 hours on average, sometimes it's quicker, sometimes it can last overnight, though that's fairly rare.

In short though, once yeu get the shrug, they have got to be left to their own devices, as anything that draws their attention to the original problem, even anything as simple as an appology, will only cause problems.

3) How can we avoid provoking the defensive response?
Well yeu can't avoid it100%... ENTP's have a nasty habit of being able to cross referance many complex things at a time, meaning even several innocent statements on their own can be combined in a way that wasn't intended, and there's really no way to stop it at that point. Closest thing yeu can do is avoid directly confronting them or telling them they're wrong. If yeu have to make them understand they made a mistake, get them to go through the process of working through it themselves a piece at a time, with guidance. If yeu want to show them they're mistaken, it's alright to say "I think yeu're mistaken", because that's not a direct attack, it just means they're going to go into a mode where they'll be spending all their energies on prooving yeu wrong. The trick is to make sure that yeu just say "I THINK yeu're mistaken", and then walk them through the explaination, making sure they do most of the reasoning work, and nudging them down the correct path when neccesary. Keep in mind, they're going to be merciless in their evaluation in attempting to disproove yeur belief, so unless yeu know the topic inside out, yeu're probably just going to reaffirm they were right in the first place. Yeu will have to objectively proove every single thing they thought was correct is not, and make sure there's no room for error, as well as ensure that they do most of the thinking on the matter. If they realize they're wrong, they'll generally accept it and just change their opinion, but they're not going to just accept a "I think yeu're wrong" and change their mind on a whim, yeu need to proove it.

If yeu have anyone who can do that for them, it'll prevent the vast number of problems.

4) Can he be taught alternate ways of responding, that are less destructive to teamwork and communication?
Not really, no.

This's again based upon my own self, but personally, I've learned that even IF I know for a fact, that I myself am being unreasonable... it honestly doesn't matter. It's odd that way... I can KNOW that I'm being unreasonable, or obstinate, that I'm clearly not thinking straight, or being in a sulky pissy mood for no reason, but there's really nothing I can do about it. I can't just magically turn the switch off, and even with the realization that it's occuring, it doesn't actually seem to translate into actually doing anything to help the matter.

Don't ask me why, I haven't quite figured that part out yet, I just know that it IS. I'm still working on the WHY it is part. But if this's not a personal quirk, and is maintained by most ENTP's, of which seems likely considering anything I've read, chances are there's pretty much nil that yeu can do to change the behaviour. Yeu can limit its' occurance, and speed the recovery process, but yeu can't stop the actual 'shrug' as yeu put it. It's a natural reaction to certain stimuli; it's like trying to teach someone to not pull their hand away when they touch a hot stove... it's exceedingly rare that it's even possible to do it, and in the rare situation that it's possible to train them to repress the natural reaction, it didn't solve anything and it just made things worse. If yeu somehow DID manage to prevent this reaction, yeu'd probably be stuck with them either bottling it up and causing far more problems than before, or it'll just be expressed in another manner which could be either more destructive, and/or more difficult to contain and correct.

At the moment, yeu are dealing with a symptomn to a problem. Yeu can either A: reduce the chances of the problem occuring, which directly prevents the symptomn from showing in the first place, or B: deal with the symptomn when it occurs in the most efficent manner possible.

As this's a reaction to feeling slighted usually, or being accused of something they don't believe in, yeur best bet is to limit those occurances by handling the individual differently, which'll reduce the number of cases. Once a case does occur, it's their reaction to whot happened, and they ARE going to react regardless of whot yeu do, but this is their natural way which will deal with the problem the best way for them. If yeu do manage to change their method of displaying their frustration, it'll probably just make it more difficult to deal with because it's not their natural response any longer, so the treatment will have less effect, as it won't feel to them like they've truly fixed the problem. It'll keep nagging at them, or take far longer to correct, because it's not handling the base problem (the original frustration) in a way that feels to them like they've actually removed it.

Though... in this case it's kind of weird because the solution doesn't actually involve handling the problem >.>



There is the second method I mentioned though... but it's very very very risky, so I advise against it because it has an exceptionally high chance of just making things far worse.

This's that if there's something that directly caused them to get annoyed, or make them feel like they were slighted, or accused of being wrong... they can directly challange it head on, and tackle it with all their effort focused on prooving themselves right. This can, and will backfire if they actually AREN'T right. If they're wrong, then this's the last thing yeu want them to do as it'll just proove they had every right to get that way and it'll just make it even harder to pull them out of it.

If they're right, it works very well and quickly negates the problem usually. But they have to be right for it to work.

If they aren't, yeu're stuck with the other method of letting them cool off and diverting their attention. Once that happens, they'll no longer be upset, and will be able to clearly think and handle the situation calmly once more. Until they're in that state though, it's near pointless to even bother trying to get them to tackle the actual problem that's concerning them because they won't be able to think clearly on the matter. Once they have themselves balanced, and able to work on it, they can generally accept the problem for whot it is, without getting frustrated on it, and just work on solving it.

As such, the 'cure' to the 'sigh' is twofold...

A: if they're right and are just insulted in their own way, forcing them to proove they're right will immediately cure it. If it's impossible to proove, or they are in fact not correct, it'll just make matters worse.

B: if they're incorrect or unable to realistically proove themselves, then yeur best bet is to let them be for awhile, so they can calm down. Once they've broken their wall down on their own, which generally doesn't take long if allowed to do so without interruption, then they'll be fit to actually tackle the problem. They will be useless to yeu as long as they're stuck in the sigh mood, and will not be capable of handling it, or anyone else, until after.





I think I've ranted long enough... also note that this's mostly from personal experience, and there MAY be alternatives to which I'm not aware yet. I'll be doublechecking the replies here to make sure I didn't miss anything that could help me as well, for obvious reasons XD

Most of the time though i've found that it's not too hard to get me knocked out of the 'bleh' mood as I've put it, more than a 'sigh', though it often does involve sighing... it's just a pain to do if there's any interruptions. I know for a fact that anything I don't want to do (doing dishes, cleaning, anything like that) will have no effect, and anyone trying to help isn't able to, even if they attempt to give me something to do with the express intention of trying to get my mind off things, if it's not something I myself chose it won't work. The only way I've ever broken out of it, was to do something like eat so I'm not hungry and distracted while doing it, and then give myself some sort of puzzle to occupy myself with until I become so absorbed in it, I loose track of whot it was I was upset about. Oddly enough, once I'm done, I'll still know whot it was that annoyed me in the first place, but I just won't care anymore and won't be so frustrated over it. I hope fully that this entp of yeurs works the same way.



And yes, I know that normally ENTP's deal with problems externally through other people, but this's about the one case where they fall inwards on themselves. Once that's broken, they tend to return to normal.

 

[CzeCze]

If he is a pain in the ass, deal with it, he is doing his job, even if he is annoying, it's a small company, to be honest he sounds like areally valuable player - given that he seems to should a creative burden larger than other peoples - respect what he does and appreciate that he is human and flawed.

The fact that you characterize everything Ne-Monster has characterized 9/9 as being and doing as merely "annoying" is too funny.

True, this account, just like every other account on TypeC is merely a story filtered through another person, who isn't a trained mental health (this includes your stories). So you can take it or leave it for what you will.

Oh well, some people say "narcissistic personality disorder" some people say "annoying".