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Thread: Me VS. School

  1. #1
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    Default Me VS. School

    All schoolers are going back soon. I have to go back on the 19th.

    ...



    ...

    Okay, a bit of background. I've got quite a list on my Psychiatric bill, including Major Depressive Disorder.

    School is my main stressor. I despise school. I loathe school. If you asked me to say 'School', I'd say it with the same contempt I would say 'Hitler' With.

    Of course, with sadness, stress, and anger form one source comes the inevitable fear.

    I fear school. I dread every single day. When I was only a couple years younger I'd cry my eyes out every sunday because I hated school and was scared of it.

    Allow me to elaborate.

    My High School has a district policy which basically says:

    All kids must work in groups on evenly the simplest tasks.

    Okay, that is pretty much what it says, I'm just putting in the omitted qualifier.

    So, if you look down to my signiature, you'll see a hefty sum of 96% I. That's quite high. Allow me to resay what was said before, with extra emphasis.

    All kids must work in groups on evenly the simplest tasks.

    This takes enormous amounts of energy out of me. Because I'm so loopy, the staff is trying to help me, but can't disobey district policy, obviously written by 100% E's who have never, EVER even heard of an I before.

    So, I fear school with the same fear that that a sleeping child on Elm street has for Mr. Krueger, and the same loathing of school that... Okay. I can't think of a befitting analogy because I hate school more than I've known anybody hate anything/one... Even with all my copious amounts of N. (93%)

    ...

    Say what you will to this sad, subhuman creature. Nothing could make me feel worse now.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  2. #2
    . Blank's Avatar
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    Default

    You were adopted into a life of knowing misery.
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Te = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ne = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Si = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ni = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fe = 0

    -----------------
    Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why;
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand

  3. #3
    Senior Member Engler's Avatar
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    Default

    I, too, despise school, though for different reasons than your own.

    Certainly, the social nature of school is rather draining, though the large amount of research time that is provided more than makes up for this.

    No, I detest my academic situation because of the intense levels of structure that I am forced to deal with. Not only am I not permitted to study subjects of specific interest to me, but I also need to abide by a strict set of rules (ethical treatment of all students, respect of those in positions of authority, proper attire, etc.).

    Unfortunately, as you can imagine, my rebellious behavior disrupts the potentially harmonious student-teacher dynamic for which I have always been provided the opportunity, but have also always rejected.

    Ideally, I would be able to engage in autodidactic study while being provided with endless academic resources.

    Sadly, this will never happen.

    To shed typological light on both your and my hatred of school, it would not be unreasonable to say that your struggle can be attributed to your high introversion percentage, while my struggle can be attributed to high perception preference.
    http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u56/EnglerMeister/hehh.jpg

  4. #4
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    It's okay, Gewitter27. I'd honestly dread school if I were in your situation. I'd say you're a pretty normal person in a non-normal situation. Remember that.

    I'm not sure how wanted us to respond, but I'll take a chance and assume that you're open for advice/suggestions. School is obviously causing stress and this stress is NOT going away. As I'm sure you know from how you used to feel, this isn't something you want to leave unchecked.

    The simplest and perhaps best remedy is to find a different school without that horrid district policy. As with any long-term stress inducing environment, the best route is usually to simply leave. Ask your parents about transferring somewhere. Unaware of your economic situation, I'm not sure how practical this route is. However, it is to be preferred if it is possible.

    Should it not be an option, you can also considering trying to reform the system. While this may not be possible on a district scale, there is an off chance that you can get your specific teachers to accommodate you. Naturally, they won't be fully aware of this problem unless you actually talk to them. Assuming that they're decent at their job, they should at least HEAR your grievances, even if they don't fully address them.

    I strongly advise against giving anymore hope to the "try to learn to act a little more extraverted approach." As I'm sure you've learned from MBTI, that simply doesn't work. It would be a change. However, this change would be a distortion that would need to be undone later, not a transformation.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  5. #5
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I can't help you any more than the people in here have helped so far, but here is my advice.

    Find another N. An NF or an NT, anything. Or just find someone that understands, that you can tolerate. Someone within your mental age range. That's what is key, not S or N. But finding another N outside of the internet and in class was a gratifying experience.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #6
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Hey

    I can empathise a fair bit here, but can say different years at school were easier than others.

    The bigger picture is, however the reason that the policy is in place. Very view areas in life will allow you to work without other people – hence you are being dictated to work with other people is not necessarily a bad thing... at 96% introverted this will leave you uncomfortable, but you need to acquire skills to reduce the IMPACT of your introverted-ness.

    Introvertedness doesn’t mean you can’t work with people – it means you like to think things through before you discuss them.... ultimately this could be that you write lists of things you think are important to the piece of work you are doing, you then use that list when discussing with more extroverted people. it doesn't have to be a list, it could be anythign that helps you communicate.... this is something I was sent by another ENTP (who are just INTP who have over copensated because they hate bein in your shoes).....

    A Periodic Table of Visualization Methods

    You can lock a fair bit of information into bubble maps and other communications vehicles... For what its worth, I have been working with a team of rationalists at a very senior level in an very large organisation - The INTPs do very well - so it's not forever, but nessesary to find ways aroun feelign like crap.

    I do realise this isn’t natural for you, but when you get into wider environments like university or work, you still need to deal with people. I can appreciate you are feeling at an emotional low ebb, but maybe you can use your brain power to think up positive coping mechanisms that allow you to feel more comfortable... a fair few other these could be based around what you can do, the positive things you can do such as strategy and thinking a problem all the way through, and focus less on the thing you are not so good at (which would get anyone down). As an INTP you’ve got good stuff in your head, better than many of the kids you will be working with.

    Lis

  7. #7
    Widdles in your cream.
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    As in INTP, I can understand how imagination transmogrifies negative associations into something ten times as worse than the actuality of the circumstances. Just keep dreading School, convincing yourself the worst possible scenarios. You'll be surprised how mild School is in reality. I hated my Sixth form college, so days before returning I kept imagining everyone jeering at me in corridors, being treated unfairly by teachers and being ostracized by classmates. When I actually did return, this wasn't the case at all. Your situation sounds slightly more complicated, but I assure you it can't be as bad as you imagine.

    Alternatively, when I'm dreading an event, I make plans for the day/weekend after. That way I'm too busy looking forward to what is happening after, the event I'm dreading seems insignificant. I find out whether or not I'm going to University this Thursday, for instance. On the Saturday after I'm going to London for the day.

  8. #8
    cast shadows metaphours's Avatar
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    Even though I'm not an INTP, I know this feeling exactly and I have it right now. I just had to go back to school today, and it was terrible. I fucking hate school.

  9. #9
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    You have no idea how much stress school gives me. A paper or simple assigment would kill me to death when i was in high school. It's so bad right now that I'm thinking about dropping out of college right now.

  10. #10
    FigerPuppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    You have no idea how much stress school gives me. A paper or simple assigment would kill me to death when i was in high school. It's so bad right now that I'm thinking about dropping out of college right now.
    You should. Bill Gates did it.

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