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  1. #11
    Senior Member Valuable_Money's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saslou View Post
    My soon to be ex-husband was an INTJ but recently changed his status on here to IxTP. Whatever.


    Wait a second hes on the forum aswell? DO I SMELL DRAMA!?
    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh? wgah'nagl fhtagn

  2. #12
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris1973 View Post
    ...................She very much runs the household, and she should because you definitely don't want me paying the bills or balancing the checkbook!

    She really can't comprehend what makes me tick, however, which is difficult.
    Hey Chris

    To be honest, most women run the household according to statistics - it's bizarly high like 90% - cook clean do the house hold moneys etc.... Scary stuff, one wonders about divorce rates. This different is part gender part P-type.

    I would think the barriers to being understoon is your male I - men can be less than forthcoming with information at the best of times, but also being an introvert you are unlikely to want to give infomration away without a lot of thought.

    I personally would say the biggest gap is the N S - you live in an imaginative/future orientated world, she lives in the here and now, micro detail.

    Differences aside you are learning from this relationship and you are learning about MBTI in order to help. This is a good thing. It's difficult I can see.

    Good luck

    Lis

  3. #13
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris1973 View Post
    Hello all,

    I'm a message board veteran but new to discussions about personality types. Why am I analyzing this? Well, because I'm confronted with marriage problems after 8 years of marriage, and as I've discovered my wife is a ESFJ. We love each other but we truly don't understand each other a lot and we don't communicate well.

    I realize that this is not surprising given what I've been reading that this is not only the least compatible combination for both personality types, but also perhaps the least compatible combination possible overall given the already tough assignment of being married to INTP's!

    I was wondering whether there were any INTP's here who were married or in long term relationships with ESFJ's, especially male INTP's with female ESFJ's. If so, what are the things you do to overcome these difficulties in understanding and communication.

    Thanks in advance for your help on this.
    The MBTI test excludes the X.
    Go figure.

    It is therefore we have these kind of posts.
    All the time.

    The theory is not wrong.
    It is the application of the theory that is wrong.

    There are two neighbouring islands in the Pacific.
    People of the same culture and the same tribe.
    They had invented the calendar before the colonists came.
    They had a common time.

    One day the colonists came.
    The colonists divided the time in the isles.
    Today, the island A has wednesday while the island B has tuesday.
    Their new time does not have anything to do with time?

    Not their time.
    Is there a common time then?
    No.

    The calendar is not Xwise.
    Nor is the MBTI application.

    Derivation is ahead of differentiation.
    Quality does not adjust to quantity.
    It adjusts to itself.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valuable_Money View Post
    Wait a second hes on the forum aswell? DO I SMELL DRAMA!?
    The drama has already been done and it wasn't much fun. He has now moved on as he knows how much i enjoy being on here.
    Apparantly though, he can not delete his account.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  5. #15
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    You might find this thread helpful, once you ignore the useless posts from the banned members.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Gewitter27's Avatar
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    The idea of being married to an ESFJ is not only unappealing to me, but I despise the idea. I'd probably go crazy and kill myself by cutting on my finger, writing her name on the wall with the blood, then blowing my brains out with a gun.

    Either that or I'd be committed for the rest of my life as a danger to myself and others, and/or being unable to distinguish reality from illusion.
    I 96% N 93% T 75% P 63% 5w4 sp/sx/so ILI
    Ti>Ne>Te>Ni>Si>Fi>Se>Fe
    I'm interested in what you percieve me to be. Johari/Nohari

  7. #17
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gewitter27 View Post
    The idea of being married to an ESFJ is not only unappealing to me, but I despise the idea. I'd probably go crazy and kill myself by cutting on my finger, writing her name on the wall with the blood, then blowing my brains out with a gun.

    Either that or I'd be committed for the rest of my life as a danger to myself and others, and/or being unable to distinguish reality from illusion.
    *passes the gun*

    I don't mean to be rude, but that sounds rather immature.

    Yes as stated there are communication problems. However, that is down to 2 people to fix/find a solution, not just 1.

    I think you are taking this whole typing malarkey far to serious.

    I have always thought you go into relationships to grow individually but also as a couple. Yes there are peaks and valleys and if you are not happy then you should leave. No point 2 people being unhappy (fooking hark me).
    Should i ever date an INTx again, i won't run away just because it fucked from day one. Even from relationships where we have different perspectives, good can still come out of it.
    Ever the optimist.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  8. #18
    Senior Member blanclait's Avatar
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    It's possible, I really like some ISFJ girls, though I dislike most of them.

    I can't say much since i'm not INTP.

  9. #19
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Your situation is mine.

    I've found that mine was able to accept my quirkiness without necessarily understanding it. But yeah at first, many conflicts without any clue why. Some stuff we just have to agree that we can't involve each other.

  10. #20
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    i would think that she would want to be more involved with your life...let her, and then youll have to do the same, get involved in hers. listen to the questions she asks you and then ask her those back. and talk to her about stuff you think is unimportant, pretty sure you'll be able to figure out what IS and what ISNT important to her.

    of course everything above works both ways

    opposites make an amazing team when dealing with outside factors like the world and kids...imagine your kids, they will be very well rounded personalities since you can be the one explaining about life on mars while she can handle growing up and social issues. recognize your individual strengths and use them as one. her strengths can be your strengths and yours can be hers

    yes, itll take work but i would think its worth it

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