User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 31

  1. #1
    I'm a star. Kangirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,470

    Default Pathology?? Judge-y INFP in my life...

    So. Was having a long convo with an INFP friend today. INFP friend works in the film industry, directing, at this point, children in the 8-12 age range. We were discussing a new child who my friend is having great difficulty directing/getting through to. Friend likes to give 'homework' to these kids - open-ended stuff like "come up with 3 different ways to play X scene - how else could Y react" etc. This kid is unable to do this and apparently just freezes up when asked.

    I said this somewhat reminded me of me when I was little (and now, to an extent). I appreciate and crave directness. I would also have had trouble with "hmmm, come up with 3 other random options" - in the sense that I would have reacted much better to a specific request "this time, let's play X as angry" etc. I could have *done* the former, but it would have pissed me off a little and made me wonder what the person assigning the task really wanted from me (apparently this kid appears very eager to get 'the right' answer, as well).

    Friend then told me he wondered what had happened to the kid to make him this way, and then what had happened to me to make me how I am. My back went ever so slightly up. I asked "do you think there's something wrong/pathological in the behaviour"? The answer was yes. Definite yes.

    I'm just surprised I got this from an INFP. Imo my friend is reacting partly out of ego - he is normally extremely good with kids, and with working with kids in this context, and this one has thrown him for a loop.

    Thoughts? Is it pathological to have an extreme preference for direct instructions rather than more open-ended thought-assignments? I.e. Do I need to go see a shrink cuz I'm an ENTJ?

    EDIT:

    Just wanted to add, my own reaction to this is based mostly on efficiency. Open ended things like this frustrate me because I think "you obviously want something from me, want me to learn something or think something etc., so why not just ask me specifically instead of wasting all this time and energy trying to coax it out of me? JUST FRICKEN TELL/ASK ME! Just wanted to explain my reaction. Also wanted to say that yes, I realize there is value in the open ended approach. Definitely. It just sometimes makes me antsy.
    "Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar

    "please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker

  2. #2
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    That person is just being egocentric.

  3. #3
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    SLE
    Posts
    6,364

    Default

    No, there's nothing pathological in that behavior. I used to give lots of extremely open-ended assignments to my university students, and usually at least half of them (sometimes more) were utterly thrown and asked me (extroverts immediately, introverts usually later by email) if I could provide more specific instructions as to what I'm looking for. I am usually happy to oblige, and nowadays I just go ahead and give two assignment descriptions- one really vague, and the other explicitly providing more precise details for those that need them.

    Nothing wrong with that, it's just a different way of thinking.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  4. #4
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    I work in a virtual troupe. It's very interesting to see who is good with improv and who isn't. I wouldn't do too well with open ended questions like that, either. You give me a script and I can nail it. It's actually interesting that he thinks that, working in that industry. You can even see it on Leno and stuff, good actors get stage shy having to be all "unscripted"

    Sounds like an INFP "my way or no way" loop.

  5. #5
    I'm a star. Kangirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    1,470

    Default

    As a student, Orangey, thank you for the direct instructions as well as the vague ones! I am definitely that idiot with my hand up going "but what do you WANT??" when I get vague instructions.

    Heart - I agree, but was also thinking it might be something else, some strange INFP thing I don't 'get'.

    It's actually interesting that he thinks that, working in that industry.
    Apparently it's a different animal directing kids vs adults. This kid is also a brilliant mimic - the best my friend has ever seen. So my friend is of the opinion that mimicry isnt 'acting' and is now getting, imo, kind of stuck on the idea/concept of teaching the kid how to 'act'. Whereas imo, if he's doing in front of the camera what you want him to be doing, it doesn't matter if he's mimicking OR acting!
    "Only an irrational dumbass, would burn Jews." - Jaguar

    "please give concise answers in plain English" - request from Provoker

  6. #6
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kangirl View Post
    Heart - I agree, but was also thinking it might be something else, some strange INFP thing I don't 'get'...
    Yeah I know, but no. This person is just stuck in egocentric viewpoint. How awful for her students, to be made to feel badly if they need the lesson more defined. Usually it's the other way around, a P type feeling defective for not fitting with J style things, but it's no less bad when it's a J type being made to feel less than for not fitting with P. jmo.

  7. #7
    ThatGirl
    Guest

    Default

    I actually prefer a combination of direct and open for interpretation. For instance, give me a specific out line, boarders. Leave the rest to me.

    Too solid of instruction, and I will over analyze how each word could imply something else. Too little, and I will over analyze wtf they want me to do.

  8. #8
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kangirl View Post
    So. Was having a long convo with an INFP friend today. INFP friend works in the film industry, directing, at this point, children in the 8-12 age range. We were discussing a new child who my friend is having great difficulty directing/getting through to. Friend likes to give 'homework' to these kids - open-ended stuff like "come up with 3 different ways to play X scene - how else could Y react" etc. This kid is unable to do this and apparently just freezes up when asked.

    I said this somewhat reminded me of me when I was little (and now, to an extent). I appreciate and crave directness. I would also have had trouble with "hmmm, come up with 3 other random options" - in the sense that I would have reacted much better to a specific request "this time, let's play X as angry" etc. I could have *done* the former, but it would have pissed me off a little and made me wonder what the person assigning the task really wanted from me (apparently this kid appears very eager to get 'the right' answer, as well).

    Friend then told me he wondered what had happened to the kid to make him this way, and then what had happened to me to make me how I am. My back went ever so slightly up. I asked "do you think there's something wrong/pathological in the behaviour"? The answer was yes. Definite yes.

    I'm just surprised I got this from an INFP. Imo my friend is reacting partly out of ego - he is normally extremely good with kids, and with working with kids in this context, and this one has thrown him for a loop.

    Thoughts? Is it pathological to have an extreme preference for direct instructions rather than more open-ended thought-assignments? I.e. Do I need to go see a shrink cuz I'm an ENTJ?

    EDIT:

    Just wanted to add, my own reaction to this is based mostly on efficiency. Open ended things like this frustrate me because I think "you obviously want something from me, want me to learn something or think something etc., so why not just ask me specifically instead of wasting all this time and energy trying to coax it out of me? JUST FRICKEN TELL/ASK ME! Just wanted to explain my reaction. Also wanted to say that yes, I realize there is value in the open ended approach. Definitely. It just sometimes makes me antsy.
    It's not pathological. You're just a J.

    HOWEVER, I know that when I took English Romanticism with a VERY SJ woman, and she complained about how she just didn't get poetry, or any thing else that didn't have a "right" answer, my inward thought was "what the hell is wrong with her?"

    It's just a J vs. P thing.

    And your friend's being very INFP by definitively declaring that it's "pathological" because it doesn't gel with her values. I do stuff like that sometimes. ISFPs do it to. I know. I know an ISFP who is worse about it than any INFP I've ever met.

  9. #9
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    It's just a J vs. P thing.

    And your friend's being very INFP by definitively declaring that it's "pathological" because it doesn't gel with her values. I do stuff like that sometimes. ISFPs do it to. I know. I know an ISFP who is worse about it than any INFP I've ever met.
    I wouldn't have called it a value difference but a viewpoint difference. But then I grew up around a lot of J's.

  10. #10
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    25,301

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    I wouldn't have called it a value difference but a viewpoint difference. But then I grew up around a lot of J's.
    Viewpoint difference may be a better term for it.

    I called it a value because I saw it as valuing creativity over rote learning, and even being frightened by rote learning, as if it's some sort of Stepford-esque brainwashing quality. I say that as someone who has considered teaching as a profession.

    But "value" may be too strong of a word. I know I could see someone taking that VERY seriously, especially being a P confronted with the structure of the public school system.

Similar Threads

  1. Trouble with the INFP women family members in my life.
    By Etrielle in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 05-05-2015, 01:12 AM
  2. [ENTP] There's an ENTP in my life, help!
    By Ene in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 04-11-2014, 06:37 AM
  3. I've never seen so many INFJs in my life
    By TheVintageSparrow in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-21-2010, 10:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO