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[NT] Starting a new online publication, Evil Overlord weekly.

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,553
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ENTJ
Looking for writers.

There's no censorship, just write here.

Wishes for articles:
My lonely life as an evil overlord
Selecting minions, tips and advices
Increasing your fear factor
A lonely overlord exposes his true feelings
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
This sounds fun! Although I hate commitment so I don't really know if I'll write anything.
 

entropie

Permabanned
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Infernal Glamor,
Day 315 after the new world order

Diary Entry #1

A lonely overlord exposes his true feelings

I woke up this morning from a rather disturbing dream.
When I went to bed last night, I didnt had the hope that this night would be the one I finally have rather disturbing dreams again. Since day X I have become all alone on this planet, I have lost alot of the warm and fuzzy spin of my brain.

I lifted my burnt, defiled, stabbed and scarred body to touch the dark black scorched earth with my naked feet and felt it still burning in an inhumane temperature. I slowly inhaled and exhaled in deep and profound breaths, catching what was left of the oxygen in the air. The space around me was filled with smut still flieing through the air and the sky was darkened by clouds of black smoke, which didnt carry a bead of water no more. The field I was standing on, had to offer the same picture in all directions and the dark black ash covering the earth made the field seem to melt with the black sky in the distant. Just in one direction, behind the hills, an infernal gradient of a blistering yellow and a blood red coloured the night sky, stemming from the conflagration that will go on for another hundred years.

In the last hours on Day X, when the last survivors of the human race finally circled my army of blood-thirsty warriors, the human General far too late recognized my plan. I burnt them all, twice. And then I burnt them again.

Now I am standing here on this empty field, nothing left but dark burnt black ashes under the poisonous carbon-filled sky, feeling the warmth of the fires on my face even miles away and I have to crack a smile for the first time in the last 315 days.

Cause I had a rather disturbing dream tonight...

:D
 

Snoopy22

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8-13-09 Ruminations from the mind of Red Skull Jr

Until I am certain Captain American is really dead I will be cautious of revealing any plans I may be involved in. I would like to comment on the inability to find good minions, and in a down economy. In addition, daddy never informed me that being an evil villain paid such low wages. Suppose I need to think of it as more of a career and not a job.
 

Snoopy22

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The Red Skull Jr Diaries

Idiots surround me. Send five men to hijack a military 5 ton loaded with machineguns and dispose of the drivers. End up with a truck full of shotguns and two live drivers, if I wanted shotguns I would just drive to Cabela’s and buy some shotguns, and now I have two extra mouths to feed, I’m not made out of money. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, a cup of tea would be nice.
 

Snoopy22

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The Red Skull Jr Diaries

A most excellent weekend, I was successful in re-establishing my Brussels connection. Due to it being such a nice weekend with temps in the 80s. I had the kitchen staff move outdoors and do a good old fashion pig bake, eight trashcans of beer, five boxes of the better box wine and all is well. Unfortunately, my number 1 man had to go to Vegas to talk with some people from Mercury. I’ll give him a week off when he gets back.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
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Help wanted: Selecting the right minions for your evil scheme
by Dr. Antoinette Romanus

Having the right henchman can make or break even the most carefully planned hostile takeovers, the most catastrophic plagues, and the most carefully crafted doomsday machine. Whether you're working towards world domination or just like to watch those foolish peasants writhe as you destroy everything they hold dear, minions are the key to establishing your villainous regime. Here are 3 tips for interviewing and selecting henchmen.

1) Finding Potential Minions:
Submissive minions are in short supply in the age of self-help books and confidence seminars, but by looking for people in the right demographics, you can succeed. The ideal minion is accustomed to oppression (or thinks they are), making dissatisfied corporate grunts and idealistic college students prime real estate.

2) Preparation:
When meeting a potential minion, it is important to establish the right power dynamic. You should appear commanding, but at the same time project the image of a forgiving, generous benefactor. Tried-and-true methods include sitting in a swivelly leather chair in a dark room, petting a well-nourished cat, offering them sweets, and caressing the switch that releases the alligators.

3) Ask the Right Questions:
The purpose of the interview is to determine whether the spineless rube in question would make a useful and loyal lackey. In addition to asking them what they can offer you in terms of skills and knowledge, be sure to ask vaguely sinister questions about their family and personal life.

Armed with these tips, a cache of super-weapons, and your biting wit, you too can impose your will on the helpless masses.


Dr. Romanus has a PhD in chemistry from the Université Libre de Bruxelles, lives in a beautiful secret island lair, and commands 30 loyal minions. Her spies are many and ever-vigilant.
 
Last edited:

The Decline

(☞゚∀゚)☞
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It's like an episode of The Venture Bros. in here
 

Snoopy22

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The Red Skull Jr Diaries

I need more temps. SOF time. Need to check with accounting to find out the going rate.
 

Novascientia

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Jul 22, 2009
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bwahaha. bwahahahaha. BWAHAHAHAH.

muahaha? Muahahaha!

Those chemicals, you see them, yes...they explode quite well.

On a more serious (or at least less insane) note, you should look at "The 48 Laws of Power"
Just search it. Some good tips there... Voldemort's downfall was Law #36.
 

Katsuni

Priestess Of Syrinx
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Aug 22, 2009
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Zomg so awesomes XD Evil overlords 4tw!





WANTED: Minions

Job Number: 665

Title: Minion

Terms of Employment: Permanent, Full Time, Days, Evenings, Weekends, overtime applicable.

Salary: Minimum wage, though strong death benefits are offered.

Anticipated Start Date: As soon as possible

Location: The Fortress of Despair

Education: Basic ability to count to 10 is preferred, but not enough to risk plotting against the grand high sorceress.

Credentials (certificates, licences, memberships, courses, etc.): Not required

Experience: Not neccesary, training won't be provided but it won't be needed anyway.

Languages: Speak English, Dwarvish, and morse code for when the heroes try to use that to communicate within their cells.

Type of Equipment: Body armour (with narrow vision mask), melee weapons, drawbridge manual controls, organic rights infringement tools if applying for specialist torturer position

Work Setting: Dungeon, guard duty, cannon fodder, bait

Weight Handling: Up to 57 kg (125 lbs)

Security and Safety: None

Transportation/Travel Information: Horseback, on foot, self provided

Essential Skills: Pillaging, plundering, shouting in an angry voice, melee combat, following orders blindly no matter how bad of an idea it may sound

Other Information: Full time permanent employees are eligible for health plan after 3 months employment, assuming they live that long.

Employer: Katsuni, grand high sorceress

How to Apply: Sacrifice a goat at the local temple, carve yeur initials, and age onto the carcase, then set on fire.

Please apply for this job only in the manner specified by the employer. Failure to do so may result in yeur untimely execution.

Business Profile: Evil Overlord with aspirations of world domination

Advertised until: The hero gets here
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
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Dear friend.

I was wondering the other day about the lack of good schemes, plots and selfish pursuits I had experienced lately.

Really, when you think of it, feeling good, being good to your environment and all that, is just one aspect of keeping your image.

The environmentalist, the poor (you know) just keep up to the image because they can't afford to spend on extravagant things like me.

I haven't driven nearly enough in my golden BMW lately. The proletarian are thinking I'm getting soft.

Be seeing you on the next ride around the town.
 

sunset5678

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Apr 5, 2009
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lol this reminds me of the 80's cartoon Teddy Ruxpin where they had that organization M.A.V.O (monsters and villians organization) and you had to do a lot of bad deeds to g-
et in and punish anyone you saw doing a good deed...poor Tweeg had to struggle to g-
et in because he was a villian but he was too halfwitted and incompetent to actually be
considered evil
 

Katsuni

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Could be worse sunset, it could be captain planet, where apparantly the only way to be a villian is if yeu just like being EVIL for NO REASON. I mean they'd waste monies, or throw out perfectly good ideas, or whotever... the only reason to pollute for most of them were BECAUSE THEY COULD >.>

Even the stereotypical "zomg I wants to rule the world" villians are better than that >.<

That being said, I hereby pledge not to turn into a captain planet villan.

I also pledge to the following:

- When I attempt to conquor the world, I shall ensure that I capture a single country first, to use as my base of operations

- This country I shall overthrow from the harsh regime of a cruel dictator, one who shall make anything I do look like I'm wonderful in comparison

- With the people of my newly conquored country behind me, singing my praises, I shall look good when I decide to expand my boarders by conquoring other nearby crappy countries, also controlled by tinpot dictators. They obviously don't know how to be dictatorial at all.

- Once I've amassed a rather sizeable population, and landmass to work with, I shall institute significant upgrades to the infrastructure of the country, emphasizing education

- Now that my hencemen and minions are well trained, they shall become far more difficult to trick and overcome. Too many evil overlords don't take pride in their workforce

- Any high ranking position in my force shall be met with intensive interrogations of everyone the individual knows, akin to getting a high security clearance in the states; far too often overlords accept untrustworthy help... and keep in mind that anyone applying for these positions, which pay well, will not be able to afford to bribe everyone they ever knew until after they've landed the job.

- Enhancement of current technology shall be the forerunner of my country's desires, the entire system shall be dedicated to philosophy, psychology, technology, and other excessively complex tasks. My subjects shall be given free education from their taxes, with a culture designed to heavily emphasize learning.

- Once my subjects are beyond being on par with the rest of the world, I shall tout how my country, once the weakest in the known world, is now a global superpower, and that the leading nations now fear us with their irrational behaviour. Due to this, we shall develop nuclear weapons technology in defense.

- Unlike the other countries though, we shall also create a massive arcopolis, the first in the world, to house the entire nation. Every smaller villiage and location shall be uprooted and moved into the massive structure

- The arcopolis shall also be heavily armoured and sheilded from the outside, and built into the side of a mountain to provide additional protection. By the time it's fully realized, it should be near impervious to nuclear attack due to a variety of energy redistribution concepts, learned over hundreds of years of modern combat.

- Obviously, then we must instigate a moral superiourity in my subjects, work them into a religous fervor, one of pure hatred of the rest of the world for being so narrow minded. With this belief system in place, and the belief that my subjects are the true heirs of the world, we can then begin global cleansing.

- Annexing further 3rd world countries, conquoring them with this method of 'peace' and superiourity, and drawing them into my ranks, it shall truly look to onlookers that I have saved these people. And it shall be true.

- Once the majority of the third world countries are absorbed into my mighty empire, however, we shall offer peace to the superpowers of the world. When they refuse to join us, it shall be spun to be that they are evil, chastise intelligence, and are little more than cruel sweatshops with their low levels of technology and workforce being largely at minimum wage.

- Nuclear war's obviously the next step, to purge several major cities from each superpower, whereas their weapons do little to even so much as annoy my armoured arcopolis.

- With several major cities destroied, and no harm come to my own people in retribution, the first world nations shall crumble before me.

- With the power invested within myself, however, I shall name myself the first grand high priestess of this new order. We shall take to intellectual persuits with religous fervor and learn and understand, for understanding the universe IS our god.

- As this's a position not of military strength (well it is but people won't see it that way), but of moral superiourity, the remaining nations of the world shall gain converts to my new religion, until their populations grow in number, to the point that they make the majority of their respective countries.

- Once the number of majority is held, and their numbers control the places they live within, I shall then offer peace to them, allowing them to vote their country to join as an extension of my empire.

- With the entire world under my control, the only thing needed then, is to ensure that my conciousness is instilled fully into my throne, with multiple backups, so that I shall become virtually immortal, for I can trust no other to maintain my empire, and look after my people.

- I shall, without exception, insist on being followed due to people's love of me, rather than of their hatred. A dictator who is given power freely, is the one who has true command of that power. (or dictatrix, but that just sounds silly)
 

murkrow

Branded with Satan
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You should aspire to a polarizing presence.
Your allies emboldened, your detractors shaken.

Take steps to developing your presence.

Appear alien, yet confident.
 

Sture

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I should begin by stating that I have not studied this subject before, yet I have a few comments on the previous posts:

I would like to comment on the inability to find good minions, and in a down economy.

Economic depression is the best time to recruit.

You should appear commanding, but at the same time project the image of a forgiving, generous benefactor.

This may be an effective approach in the beginning, but keep in mind that this may, over time, come to be perceived by your minions as a sign of weakness and as such a window for mutiny or defection.

- When I attempt to conquor the world, I shall ensure that I capture a single country first, to use as my base of operations

- This country I shall overthrow from the harsh regime of a cruel dictator, one who shall make anything I do look like I'm wonderful in comparison

Turkmenistan
Neutrality Arch

- Any high ranking position in my force shall be met with intensive interrogations of everyone the individual knows, akin to getting a high security clearance in the states; far too often overlords accept untrustworthy help... and keep in mind that anyone applying for these positions, which pay well, will not be able to afford to bribe everyone they ever knew until after they've landed the job.

Mmm, birbes. To be or not to be?
Some autocratic systems are of course based on bribes, but I would prefer a system without a free currency as a step to eliminate the easily underestimated problem of bribing which leads to corruption which leads to mutiny.

- The arcopolis shall also be heavily armoured and sheilded from the outside, and built into the side of a mountain to provide additional protection. By the time it's fully realized, it should be near impervious to nuclear attack due to a variety of energy redistribution concepts, learned over hundreds of years of modern combat.

Don't overlook Bio and Chem.

- Obviously, then we must instigate a moral superiourity in my subjects, work them into a religous fervor, one of pure hatred of the rest of the world for being so narrow minded. With this belief system in place, and the belief that my subjects are the true heirs of the world, we can then begin global cleansing.

Rigged MBTI test?

- With the entire world under my control, the only thing needed then, is to ensure that my conciousness is instilled fully into my throne, with multiple backups, so that I shall become virtually immortal, for I can trust no other to maintain my empire, and look after my people.

That's a given, however I am concerned that your use of the word Immortal is only used figuratively. How about true immortality?

You should aspire to a polarizing presence.
Your allies emboldened, your detractors shaken.

Hmm, a polarized situation can be a dangerous thing as it will unite enimies.

We have elaborated on the subject of the lowest ranking minions. That might be the most satisfying part to think about but you also need higher ranking officers. That seems to be a more difficult question. A basic model that comes to mind concerning the utilization of these two groups is

Levatating confidence of the stupid ones
Lowering confidence of the smart ones

Levitating the confidence of the stupid will make them eager to (with your guidance) use their resources to dominate other individuals (chosen by you).
Lowering the confidence of the stupid ones will cause them to abandon their moral standards allowing you to use their gifts as you please.

What are you thoughts?
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
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I tried to talk over a small nation by recruiting a nameless ninja group from the southern Sweden. Footage of the attempted coup follows.

663191509.gif
 

Katsuni

Priestess Of Syrinx
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Created/in the process of creating a new character, mad scientist girl.


Her favorite quote right now is: "There comes a day in every girl's life, when she has to learn that firing orbital death rays at civilian populations is considered to be un-neighbourly. Fortunately, I haven't gotten around to learning this yet and it came with a really neat remote control with shiny BUTTONS!"


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